Rant on DW woes/ Bride that needs help! I've lost my way in planning my wedding!

[Aloria626]

Hello All! 

 

I am very new on this forum but immediately (after reading other rants) it felt like home.

 

I to am planning a DW in dominican republic and am starting to have arguments with my closest family members (i.e. sisters). To give a brief description one said " We're not celebrities, why are you doing this". While the other said, " Thinking about [saving money] your wedding is the last thing on my mind". Just to inform you guys, I asked both of these ladies to be my bridesmaid, which at the time they both seemed really excited about ( knowing full well it was going to be a DW).  It's extremely difficult to not argue and at the same time feel guilty when you have people telling you you're being selfish.  

 

I really wanted my DW to be a vacation for everyone who normally doesn't treat themselves, a moment to stop and smell the roses for once.  I wanted everyone to just have a good time and the fact that i was getting married while vacationing with all of them to be a HUGE bonus.  I really was coming from an unselfish place AND understood not everyone was going to go.  I would've been disappointed yes, but never would've argued with them or called anyone selfish.

 

Also, if anyone can help me, after all the arguments I now have doubts on if i have been going about this the "right" way.  I'm so unsure that I'm doing all this inappropriately! My questions are as follows:

1) how do you tell people formally about a DW.? (Mostly everyone knows from word-of-mouth/ texts but I would like to EMAIL something a little more formal)

2)My DW is 9 mth away, should I have done a formal save the date a long time ago? Is it too late to do this, with all of the people backing out?

3) With all of the definite's, that aren't so definite anymore I am thinking of having an at home reception. When should I start planning and how?

 

General information: I have a wedding date of June 26, 2013 and a deposit on a resort BUT I have no pricing as of yet, only estimates. As of this moment I have 5 definite's and 10 maybe.

 

 

If anyone has any advice and/or websites that might answer some of my questions that would be greatly appreciated

 

From,

Aloria626

 

P.S. congrats to all of you

[Tulumbride2013]

Sorry to hear about your situation. Lots of us have been through that. My moh was a definite in the beginning, I kept telling her to start saving up.... And she kept saying oh its so far away I don't need to save. Now she isn't going, because of finances. But ya know what? The show must go on! Your not being selfish. How can anyone tell you your being selfish whenits YOUR wedding?A dw was actually my way of keeping our guest list small. It also gives me this feeling that we're like eloping lol. A lot of ppl will hear from word of mouth yes. I would def do save the dates or invitations ASAP.prob skip the save the dates at this point. The sooner you give ppl notice, the more time they have to plan. I would also talk to a Travel agent, someone who can help you set up group rates ect.(if you haven't already) if you go through a TA your guests don't have to work so hard at booking. It also nice cause then the transfers and flights are included in the price. They just call your TA and that's it they're booked. Also not sure how everyone else's TA books but ours is $150deposit and the trip balance not due till march ( after taxes). Lots of incentive there! We sent flyers with pricing ect. Also maybe set up a free wedding website, at like shutterfly or wedding wire. You can email everyone the link and have all the booking info right there ready for them. You might ask your TA to offer some 4 or evn three night prices. Those ppl who are struggling may be more apt to go if they see a low price. On your wedding website you should put some wording: "we know not everyone we invite will be able to travel to celebrate our wedding. After our trip we are planning an at home reception and hope everyone can make it" We are going super casual at our ahr... Hope this helps. Please do not let ppl bring you down. My family tried, but I'm keeping my chin up, cause it MY wedding! Keep us posted!

[casontag]

I think that comes with the DW. There is always going to be a couple Debbie downers. Sorry that you are having to go through it too. For me personally its my mom there is always going to be someone who doesn't think it's the best idea. Hopefully they will come around. You have to follow your heart.

[Jamielynn55]

I agree there will always be people that don't understand the destination wedding. Mine is e first dw that any of our family has been to so it took some major explaining. Your wedding is "yours".do what makes you happy. I would decently firm up a price with a travel adjent and send out some formal invites! Good luck and congrats!! Everyone that says they decided to do there destination wedding never regrets there decision.

[Mufin1785]

We sent out a destination Wedding letter to close friends and family about our decision to have a destination wedding. We sent this out 20 months prior to our wedding date, we then sent a save the date post card to everyone about 11 months prior to our wedding date.  Despite giving everyone advance prior notice we have still had negative comments and drop outs.  My Fiance's brother told us 2 weeks ago that he was not going and he was supposed to be the best man.  My fiance's sister has put a deposit down on her room but yesterday we called her to tell it is important that she book a flight soon as prices keep going up and availability is running out, she seemed not to care as "her Life does not revolve around our wedding."  Good Luck to you I have posted our letter we sent to family and friend if you need to send an email or your own letter out to your family:

[pokeyholly]

I can totally relate! It's nice to know that there are other brides out there dealing with the same issues. I've come to the realization, that everyone will have an opinion about something. The most frustrating part, is when people say they are going to come and then back out. At the end of the day, you gotta do what you guys want. I stopped worrying because the only person I really care about being there, is my fiancé. As much as I would love for all our family and friends to be there, I'd be perfectly happy if it was just the two of us because I still get to marry my best friend in paradise . It's definitely not too late to send out save the dates. The wedding website is great for getting info out there and answering the repetitive questions people have. We just switched to having a destination wedding a few weeks ago. People have an idea, but I never sent out save the dates because I just finally secured a wedding date. We are working with a travel agent and as of nov 6th, our guests have 90 days to put down their deposit to take advantage of our group rate. And I love that the guests deal directly with the travel agent. So, now I'm just gonna send out my passport invites in the next week because we're on a timeline. I've also set up a website which has all the info as well. Once you get something organized with a travel agent, you'll feel so much better. This is supposed to be an exciting time for you and it's too bad that people are trying to bring you down! I hope things get better. Keep us posted!!

[casontag]

We sent out a destination Wedding letter to close friends and family about our decision to have a destination wedding. We sent this out 20 months prior to our wedding date, we then sent a save the date post card to everyone about 11 months prior to our wedding date.  Despite giving everyone advance prior notice we have still had negative comments and drop outs.  My Fiance's brother told us 2 weeks ago that he was not going and he was supposed to be the best man.  My fiance's sister has put a deposit down on her room but yesterday we called her to tell it is important that she book a flight soon as prices keep going up and availability is running out, she seemed not to care as "her Life does not revolve around our wedding."  Good Luck to you I have posted our letter we sent to family and friend if you need to send an email or your own letter out to your family:

Love your letter mufin!

[SammyAnna]

That letter is wonderful! Congrats!