Worst Morning So Far

[Yari]

Ugh, I just need to vent.

 

I got into an argument with my mother this morning over wedding dresses and budget. At first she told me that my budget was $2k for a dress, shoes and veil...this morning she said it was $1k and told me she never stated $2k, which is so untrue. She said that I was acting like a bridezilla and just because my FI and I have money that I shouldn't expect her too pay outrageous prices for things. I told her if she didn't want to buy the dress then I would buy it, then I hung up.

 

This statement is so hurtful and untrue. It just pisses me off. She is the one that said I had a $2K, plus I don't even plan on spending that much.

 

Do I should like a spoiled brat or do you think she is right?

 

I can handle the truth.

[JulieG]

Well, I would not say a spoiled brat, but I do think she is right in a way. I think you should be very happy that she is offering you $1k to put towards a dress, no one is giving me anything, I would be over the moon about $1K. I think you should look for your dress that you love and if its over $1k, tell your mom you would like her to contribute what she wants and you will foot the rest of the bill. She is being really generous and you should not make her feel bad because she can't spend more. Take the money she is offering and be very very happy and thankful for the help. At least that is what I would do.

[cheese_diva]

Maybe she got excited in the moment and said 2k, but then realized there's no way she could afford that and rather than admit that, said you misunderstood her.. people can be funny when it comes to money.

 

You should thank her for the $1,000 and pay the difference if you spend more than that. It's nice that she wants to help.

[MikkiStreak]

I guess I look at it like this: She's giving you a gift of money to help with the wedding, and if (for whatever reason) the amount of that gift changes, then it's still a gift to be gracious and appreciative about- no matter how frustrating it may be when the information changes.

 

Think about this situation if it occurred for any other event in your life. If your aunt said she was going to give you $200 for your birthday, and when you got the check it was only $100--- would you be upset that it wasn't as much, or would you call and thank her politely for her generosity?

[Spazz]

I would thank her for the $1000 and be done with it. It's just going to upset both of you to argue, especially about money. Also, if you're not even planning to use that much, then there's no reason to worry about the extra $1000 that you thought you'd have.

 

Cheer up

[boscobel]

My mom made the same offer towards the dress ($1k). I am so glad she did, cuz I thought I was paying for the entire thing. Since she was able to contribute, I was able to get my dream dress (which I never would've considered w/o her assistance). And luckily, I don't plan on wearing shoes and I am making my veil myself.

 

I can understand your frustration though, if she told you different once before. Once told something, your mind starts to plan around that specific thing. Like I am sure that if she had originally told you $1k, you'd think that is awesome, but the fact that she said $2k and then went to $1k and acts like she never said the first amount is frustrating. But I agree with Julie, accept with grace any help offered.

[Nrvsbride]

If she originally told you $2,000 then I don't think you are being a brat, you are merely confirming what she had offered. But now that you know she is only able to contribute $1,000 I think you should just in good faith, call her back and apologize. Tell her you must have misunderstood (even if she did say $2k) and that you really appreciate all her help and the fact that she is sharing in your special day with you. I would set up a date to go look at gowns and let her enjoy that time with you. If you find a gown that is more, then I agree with Julie you should pay for the rest yourself. I also agree with Julie that she is being very generous (any monetary contribution no matter how nominal is always a generous gesture) even if you thought she was originally willing to contribute $2k towards your gown. I'm sure everything will work out okay! Let us know how it goes.

[LisaG]

I would be very happy with the 1k - thank her and be done with it. James and I paid for our entire wedding by ourselves. If my mom offered even $100 to put towards our wedding, I would have been very grateful.

[Jessica]

I pretty much agree with what I read so far. I don't think you're being a brat, but there's a certain degree of input others are entitled to have if they are paying for something. Money is always a touchy subject. I think maybe there was just a miscommunication somewhere.

 

You're lucky that she is giving you $1000 and I know you probably are grateful, just disappointed/confused. How about, if yu can afford it, pay the remainder if your total goes over your mom's budget. Just let her know you appreciate what she is giving you. I'm sure it'll blow over. No need to turn this into a bigger issue than it should be.

 

Good luck!

[Yari]

Hi everyone, thank you for the input.

 

I don't expect my parents to pay for anything, so when my mom offered the $2K I was shocked, but grateful. My parents own a beauty salon and right now business is slow (but it always is end of September early October) and they get freaked out about money. I think since we are both Hispanic our tempers flare much quicker and we both get excited. This is our downfall. Thankfully I have a great relationship with my mom and I can talk to her about things after we get mad.

 

I called my mom just now and talked to her. She was very upset and crying and I told her that I was sorry I hung up on her. I expressed how I was shocked at how she changed her mind so quickly. She told me that she can not afford $2k right now and was stressed out about it. But she will help in any way possible. I told her I would definitely pay the difference if there is any. She feels bad cause she wants to pay for everything and at the moment is unable to. I told her not to worry about it and we will work it out. Plus, I am not going to start looking for dresses until January. I feel so bad right now, I didn't want to make my mom cry.