Any other 2014 brides here getting an early start?

[ma329]

ma329 the jellyfish is a restaurant? FH and I have been talking about this over the weekend. her being in the wedding. I explained how I hadn't planned on her being in the wedding and didn't really know if I wanted her to be in it . He understood and says the girls are my choice and apologies for assuming. I'm more relieved now. Not 100% sure who I am choosing as of yet but I wanted to make the choice on my own not have my girls picked for me. Its really important to him I might very well ask her but it'll be my choice.

Yes the Jellyfish is an off-resort restaurant. That's great that you two talked and came to an agreement. Having the fiance's support is reassuring.

It's awkward, and easier said than done, but I HATE it when ppl get their feelings hurt about anything about your wedding. I'm sorry, but I thought it was MY wedding. I say do what you want. I changed one small thing about my wedding, and I regret it and think about it constantly. I wish I had stood my ground. You should do what YOU want on YOUR day.

Thank you you are right I don't want to regret anything. .sorry you have to think about a regret.

I actually lost a friend in this whole wedding process because she was upset about whom I chose as a MOH and even declined to be a bridesmaid and later told my fiancé she isn't even going to the wedding. She has yet to tell me this herself. And she was one of my closest friends. Even though for a while, I felt bad and guilty and was considering getting rid of the bridal party, I also remembered this is MY wedding and not hers. As long as you and the fiancé are happy with your choices, do not let anyone make you feel like you HAVE to do something you don't want to.

[brownsugarbride]

I'm feeling a little bummed today.  While my family has been very supportive of a DW, I got some pushback from a family member about having a destination wedding offsite.  As in: "why are you making everyone pay for an expensive resort if you're having a wedding outside of the resort? Why go to Mexico then?"  Another friend told me it it was going to be a lot of trouble to do an offsite wedding. Don't get me wrong, I DO think a resort wedding is generally a bit cheaper, but you also can get nickeled and dimed there with outside vendor fees, etc and can have less flexibility in having the wedding that you want.  There are tradeoffs either way, no?  I've been trying to find the most cost-effective resort possible, but it made me feel like I was being selfish for wanting to have a more private event and give people a different experience.  The plan is to do a fun rehearsal dinner at the resort and then the wedding offsite.  I've got a great and knowledgeable planner who is helping me pull things together, and I really feel like this is the right way to go for me.  Add to that that I made the mistake of sharing the (very high!) prices of my preferred photographer and I really think I need to keep things to myself for awhile! LOL

[moodyc82]

Originally Posted by brownsugarbride 

 

I'm feeling a little bummed today.  While my family has been very supportive of a DW, I got some pushback from a family member about having a destination wedding offsite.  As in: "why are you making everyone pay for an expensive resort if you're having a wedding outside of the resort? Why go to Mexico then?"  Another friend told me it it was going to be a lot of trouble to do an offsite wedding. Don't get me wrong, I DO think a resort wedding is generally a bit cheaper, but you also can get nickeled and dimed there with outside vendor fees, etc and can have less flexibility in having the wedding that you want.  There are tradeoffs either way, no?  I've been trying to find the most cost-effective resort possible, but it made me feel like I was being selfish for wanting to have a more private event and give people a different experience.  The plan is to do a fun rehearsal dinner at the resort and then the wedding offsite.  I've got a great and knowledgeable planner who is helping me pull things together, and I really feel like this is the right way to go for me.  Add to that that I made the mistake of sharing the (very high!) prices of my preferred photographer and I really think I need to keep things to myself for awhile! LOL

Do what is best for you as far as where you have it. Maybe pay for the transportation from the resort to the place so the guests don't have to worry about it. And try not to share the costs of things....trust me

[brownsugarbride]

Originally Posted by moodyc82 

 

Do what is best for you as far as where you have it. Maybe pay for the transportation from the resort to the place so the guests don't have to worry about it. And try not to share the costs of things....trust me

 

Absolutely! It had never even occurred to me NOT to pay transportation costs for the guest to the hotel!  Thank you for the advice, even if I got it too late! LOL LOL

[hclibby1982]

Originally Posted by brownsugarbride 

 

 

Absolutely! It had never even occurred to me NOT to pay transportation costs for the guest to the hotel!  Thank you for the advice, even if I got it too late! LOL LOL

If you're planning to pay travel costs to/from the wedding/reception site I don't understand why anyone would have a problem.  Yes you're asking people to travel to you DW but if they aren't incurring additional costs by you having it offsite what does it matter where it is?  Have it where you want, it's YOUR wedding! 

 

That's one thing I learned really quickly in this process, luckily my family and friends are supportive of my DW and see it as a reason to escape a cold new england winter but my FH's not so much, but I also know I wouldn't please everyone if I had it here so there's not point in trying to please anyone but outselves

[MissJali]

Originally Posted by brownsugarbride 

 

I'm feeling a little bummed today.  While my family has been very supportive of a DW, I got some pushback from a family member about having a destination wedding offsite.  As in: "why are you making everyone pay for an expensive resort if you're having a wedding outside of the resort? Why go to Mexico then?"  Another friend told me it it was going to be a lot of trouble to do an offsite wedding. Don't get me wrong, I DO think a resort wedding is generally a bit cheaper, but you also can get nickeled and dimed there with outside vendor fees, etc and can have less flexibility in having the wedding that you want.  There are tradeoffs either way, no?  I've been trying to find the most cost-effective resort possible, but it made me feel like I was being selfish for wanting to have a more private event and give people a different experience.  The plan is to do a fun rehearsal dinner at the resort and then the wedding offsite.  I've got a great and knowledgeable planner who is helping me pull things together, and I really feel like this is the right way to go for me.  Add to that that I made the mistake of sharing the (very high!) prices of my preferred photographer and I really think I need to keep things to myself for awhile! LOL

BrownSugar,

I'm guilty of this exact thinking!!! I'm sorry My friend has also decided to have a dw 3 months after mine and i'm now getting the news that she's possibly going to do it offsite in Jamaica. And my exact thought was "well what about your guests staying at the resort?"(thinking of how I'm not doing my own offsite b/c I don't want anyone to feel some type of way) I explained to her, well if you charter the transportation for everyone to get to your ceremony site, reception site and back to the resort, then it's fine. Otherwise, I'd assume people will either back out or choose whatever resort is closer to the offsite wedding which in my opinion, kinda defeats my idea of "a huge family vacation". 

 

I think if you provide the transportation for everyone and still explain that you have certain activities at the resort, it should all be fine!!!

[flo628]

Originally Posted by brownsugarbride 

 

I'm feeling a little bummed today.  While my family has been very supportive of a DW, I got some pushback from a family member about having a destination wedding offsite.  As in: "why are you making everyone pay for an expensive resort if you're having a wedding outside of the resort? Why go to Mexico then?"  Another friend told me it it was going to be a lot of trouble to do an offsite wedding. Don't get me wrong, I DO think a resort wedding is generally a bit cheaper, but you also can get nickeled and dimed there with outside vendor fees, etc and can have less flexibility in having the wedding that you want.  There are tradeoffs either way, no?  I've been trying to find the most cost-effective resort possible, but it made me feel like I was being selfish for wanting to have a more private event and give people a different experience.  The plan is to do a fun rehearsal dinner at the resort and then the wedding offsite.  I've got a great and knowledgeable planner who is helping me pull things together, and I really feel like this is the right way to go for me.  Add to that that I made the mistake of sharing the (very high!) prices of my preferred photographer and I really think I need to keep things to myself for awhile! LOL

Some people really suck. Everytime I got a comment like that, I couldn't help myself and said "no one is making you come" b/c I honestly did not want anyone there with an attitude like that. Sorry, but it's MY wedding. I now just walk away- my mother made a comment like "why bother having a DW if..." and I literally walked out of the restaurant during a family dinner (it was an argument that was building). I was tired of getting into fights and defending my choices. My FSIL also made me annoyed once, and we were talking about it this w/e, and I had to stop the conversation, b/c it's just not worth it! It's easier said than doen, but we have to do what we want to do- we only get one wedding (hopefully).  

[Cherina]

Some people really suck. Everytime I got a comment like that, I couldn't help myself and said "no one is making you come" b/c I honestly did not want anyone there with an attitude like that. Sorry, but it's MY wedding. I now just walk away- my mother made a comment like "why bother having a DW if..." and I literally walked out of the restaurant during a family dinner (it was an argument that was building). I was tired of getting into fights and defending my choices. My FSIL also made me annoyed once, and we were talking about it this w/e, and I had to stop the conversation, b/c it's just not worth it! It's easier said than doen, but we have to do what we want to do- we only get one wedding (hopefully).  

That prettying sums it up. People were so negative when we first got married that we forgoed the wedding all together and got married through the glass at city hall. I HAVE REGRETTED IT EVERY DAY SINCE... FOURTEEN YEARS WORTH OF REGRET!!! Now I (oops I mean we) get to do it again and every single detail will be to our desire, no compromise, no buckling, no caving, no allow ourselves to be manipulated. My family is unhappy about the location, not the resort, destination or region but the country!!! They want us to move our wedding from Jamaica to Hawaii the other side of the hemisphere even tried a bribe! As of now they and by default my siblings and grandparents have yet to book and they have had reservation information since September 2012. It's crazy and I refuse to be bullied a second time. I am a travel agent and specialize in DWs and this process has completly changed my perspective of the emotions often clients because the games that families sometime play to gain control or power of a wedding that of often a DW to designed avoid dealing with outside influence. Stay strong ladies!!! Go after your dream wedding!!!

[brownsugarbride]

Ladies, I truly appreciate your support! I think I'm lucky in that my family and friends have honestly been quite supportive, but I've been running around trying to figure out how to please everyone (even those who don't even know I'm GETTING married) that I'm starting not to enjoy the process.  I'm getting to marry the man I love! As I may have said earlier, a friend told me that she realized early on that she could not please everyone and she and her husband decided to stop trying. 

Originally Posted by Cherina 


That prettying sums it up. People were so negative when we first got married that we forgoed the wedding all together and got married through the glass at city hall. I HAVE REGRETTED IT EVERY DAY SINCE... FOURTEEN YEARS WORTH OF REGRET!!! Now I (oops I mean we) get to do it again and every single detail will be to our desire, no compromise, no buckling, no caving, no allow ourselves to be manipulated.
My family is unhappy about the location, not the resort, destination or region but the country!!! They want us to move our wedding from Jamaica to Hawaii the other side of the hemisphere even tried a bribe! As of now they and by default my siblings and grandparents have yet to book and they have had reservation information since September 2012. It's crazy and I refuse to be bullied a second time.
I am a travel agent and specialize in DWs and this process has completly changed my perspective of the emotions often clients because the games that families sometime play to gain control or power of a wedding that of often a DW to designed avoid dealing with outside influence.
Stay strong ladies!!! Go after your dream wedding!!!

 

 

Cherina-I cannot WAIT to see the pictures from your wedding. Jamaica is beautiful and I have a feeling that your wedding is going to be the party of the decade! 

[tyrebride2b2013]

I was thinking about it....

Never too late