Any other 2014 brides here getting an early start?

[MrsShoreytobe]

Originally Posted by moodyc82 

 

My future MIL wanted a big AHR and we told her unless she's paying for it were doing what we can afford.....so crazy to even think about it at this point

 

Originally Posted by evbaez 

 

My FIL wants us to have one after we come back from the wedding. I told my fiance "not happening". My FIL's  reasoning is that not everyone that has been invited to the wedding will be able to attend. Which i understand, but i dont want to spend more money after our DW. Unless they are paying for the AHR, we willl not be having one. 

Ah don't you love people with their opinions? LOL we have been fortunate, we haven't had that yet, and I am thankful for this. I have a feeling we could keep the AHR to a minimum likely, under 30 people. Do you only invite people who couldn't come to the wedding and those who weren't invited but you would love to share this with?

 

I'm actually not clear on how AHR "usually" work.

 

If we have a relatively small #, maybe we'll just do a dinner somewhere and I'll show up in my wedding dress lol!

[evbaez]

Originally Posted by MrsShoreytobe 

 

 

Ah don't you love people with their opinions? LOL we have been fortunate, we haven't had that yet, and I am thankful for this. I have a feeling we could keep the AHR to a minimum likely, under 30 people. Do you only invite people who couldn't come to the wedding and those who weren't invited but you would love to share this with?

 

I'm actually not clear on how AHR "usually" work.

 

If we have a relatively small #, maybe we'll just do a dinner somewhere and I'll show up in my wedding dress lol!

I dont know how this AHR works. BUT i have a feeling this will be another task on my plate that honestly dont want. 

 

My FIL would want to invite everyone, whether or not they were able to attend our DW. And the crazy thing is that my reason for having a DW is because i knew not everyone could attend. 

[moodyc82]

Originally Posted by MrsShoreytobe 

 

 

Ah don't you love people with their opinions? LOL we have been fortunate, we haven't had that yet, and I am thankful for this. I have a feeling we could keep the AHR to a minimum likely, under 30 people. Do you only invite people who couldn't come to the wedding and those who weren't invited but you would love to share this with?

 

I'm actually not clear on how AHR "usually" work.

 

If we have a relatively small #, maybe we'll just do a dinner somewhere and I'll show up in my wedding dress lol!

 

Originally Posted by evbaez 

 

I dont know how this AHR works. BUT i have a feeling this will be another task on my plate that honestly dont want. 

 

My FIL would want to invite everyone, whether or not they were able to attend our DW. And the crazy thing is that my reason for having a DW is because i knew not everyone could attend. 

 

We want something small like 30ppl or so, like his grandparents who can't come to the actual wedding, and maybe his father who isn't invited to the actual wedding (long story) and some close friends and other family members we didn't invite to the DW. It just seems ridiculous to basically plan two weddings. There's a place his family did a brunch at that was nice so I told my FI to ask his cousin how much they spent and see if it's something reasonable. I'm not thinking sit down or anything fancy just finger food etc

[Pixie327]

Hi Ursula, I am a Mexico Bride as well! We are planning for May 26th 2014 at Playa del Carmen. We want around 30 - 40 people as well. But depending on who can attend, we may end up with around 20 which is fine with me. I have looked at the packages but I am feeling torn on choosing because I obviously haven't sent out invitations yet .

 

Where in Mexico are you thinking about?
 

[MissJali]

Originally Posted by evbaez 

 

My FIL wants us to have one after we come back from the wedding. I told my fiance "not happening". My FIL's  reasoning is that not everyone that has been invited to the wedding will be able to attend. Which i understand, but i dont want to spend more money after our DW. Unless they are paying for the AHR, we willl not be having one. 

My sentiments exactly! Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way! The entire point for us having a DW was to cut costs in the first place!

[moodyc82]

Originally Posted by MissJali 

 

My sentiments exactly! Glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way! The entire point for us having a DW was to cut costs in the first place!

Absolutely!!!

[MissJali]

I mean I feel bad that certain people can't come, but I figured... that the most important ones will make it come hell or high water. Which is all I really need. 

[MrsShoreytobe]

I definitely agree with you guys. And I don't think its helpful to take on a possible burden of making sure "everyone is happy"...I'm already prioritizing guests so much in our attempts to plan everything. I think I will talk to my beau tonight about this to get the possibility out there. 

 

Have any of you heard of a restaurant "AHR"? Ie where you have people join you for dinner, but not fork out the $$ for all the food, etc.? It would be an opportunity to spend time with people who couldn't come, without paying tons of extra $$....

[brownsugarbride]

Originally Posted by MrsShoreytobe 

 

I definitely agree with you guys. And I don't think its helpful to take on a possible burden of making sure "everyone is happy"...I'm already prioritizing guests so much in our attempts to plan everything. I think I will talk to my beau tonight about this to get the possibility out there. 

 

Have any of you heard of a restaurant "AHR"? Ie where you have people join you for dinner, but not fork out the $$ for all the food, etc.? It would be an opportunity to spend time with people who couldn't come, without paying tons of extra $$....

 

Caveat: The following is a personal opinion.  I think different people have to do what works for them, but I personally dislike the idea of people paying to celebrate my wedding with me. I would rather work my budget to host an AHR that I can afford (hors d'oeuvres, backyard BBQ) rather than doing a sit down dinner and asking people to pay for it---especially when they will likely bring a gift, regardless of whether there is a registry. 

[MrsShoreytobe]

Originally Posted by brownsugarbride 

 

 

Caveat: The following is a personal opinion.  I think different people have to do what works for them, but I personally dislike the idea of people paying to celebrate my wedding with me. I would rather work my budget to host an AHR that I can afford (hors d'oeuvres, backyard BBQ) rather than doing a sit down dinner and asking people to pay for it---especially when they will likely bring a gift, regardless of whether there is a registry. 

Yes for sure, and I hadn't thought of this restaurant idea before now - it's just been a bunch of random ideas floating around in my head! I understand that perspective no doubt, and doubt that my fiance would want people to have to pay for dinner as well. 

 

If we had a backyard where we could host one that would be idea, but we are in a condo downtown; I imagine we will do apps only (like I mentioned before), but even music, rent space, etc may add up. Anyways, I know we just need to talk about it and see how we can work something out. I appreciate having this dialogue with other brides/brides to be!