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Any other 2014 brides here getting an early start?


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Morning ladies. I am so thinking about buying small sample size burlap bags and filling them with Dominican coffee beans to throw in my welcome bags or to give as favors at the wedding. I wonder if it is easy to get their coffee beans? Any other favor suggestions?

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Ladies......I was a complete bridezilla last night.....and I think it is spreading into today as well. I need to vent a bit.....My FI's father is a worthless drunk. In the 3.5yrs we've dated he has never been around and my FI doesn't have a relationship with him. When my FI graduated the police academy this scum didn't show up b/c my FI didn't call him on his birthday......oh I'm sorry, but it was 3days before he graduated and passing the academy was a little bit more important. Moving on......so that christmas he decided to take Roy and his brother out to dinner and gave him a check for like $200 for a "graduation present". OK.....so that was 2011......now we never have really had contact with him since. We got engaged March 16th, Roy called his father to tell him we are engaged.....his father decided he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. Well, this was April 4th I believe that we went (first saturday in April) and we are sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant waiting for his worthless father when we suddenly get a call from him (mind you it's 5pm). He calls and says he's lost........we immediately knew he was drunk b/c we were at the restaurant they always go to for the last 30yrs.......well, Roy gives him directions. 10mins later his father calls again that he's been in an accident.....at this point he is SO intoxicated that he can't even tell us where he is. Well every min for 15mins this SOB kept calling us asking when we will get there.....well we tell him to put a cop on the phone and he does and we find out where he is (literally 5mins from the restaurant). We go and there's 3 cop cars and a motorcycle cop and the damn women he hit. Well get this, this SOB hit this women at a light, and than drove 5miles away trying to escape......Well, it would of helped if he didn't leave his damn liscence plate at the scene of the accident!!!!!!! So, all he keeps asking Roy is "what are you going to do for me". Well, he gets arrested after failing the test, IN FRONT OF US. We end up having to call his brother to go sign him out b/c Roy can't because of his job and I can't b/c I'm his future wife. Well, lets just say they did this man a HUGE favor as far as not throwing the book at him. 3hrs after they arrest him they made him blow.....he blew a .30........3hrs later!???!!!~?! So we have to drive him home b/c they impounded his car....so the whole ride home he acts like nothing is wrong....and that now we're going to have to be a taxi service to him........They take him to court on that Monday and he gets his lis. taken away for 7months and when he gets it back he has to have the machine put in his car to have it be able to start when he blows in it........WELL, the next day while he's at work his mother (roy's grandma) (96yrs old) falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, shoulder, and leg. So now this SOB expects us to drive him back and fourth to the hospital every single day (they're 40mins from us). This went on until she finally died on June 15th......Now on father's day Roy decided to be the bigger person and call him, well the father wants to go out to dinner......we go and this SOB has a siezure at the diner b/c he didn't drink for 8hrs.....we rush him to the hospital and he tells the doctors and everyone else he doesn't drink......seriously?! So I left the room, not sure what was said to him by Roy and his brother but I know whatever it was it was harsh. Well, he was released the next day and given detox drugs and asked for us to go to dinner.....do you see a patern here? I never actually get to eat the dinner I'm invited to.......well, he acts like NOTHING happened. Nothing.....the doctor told him he is dying b/c of the drinking and he pretends like nothing is wrong.......I have not seen the man since. And since March I said he was uninvited to the wedding, that I'm not babysitting him in another country and I'm not having my wedding day ruined. Well, yesterday my FI was with his mother (ugh another long story, MONSTER-in-law) and she tells him he's actually been sober and that maybe we should think about inviting him.....girls I lost it.....I mean absolutely lost it and flipped out and said I didn't care if he was the king of Prussia and had a check for $2million dollars that I did not want him there and if he wanted him there than we are calling off the destination wedding and we'll go get married in Vegas.....I just can't deal with him being at the wedding with the thought of unlimited alchol around and available 24/7.....am I being an ass?

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Originally Posted by Shara1984 View Post

 

Morning ladies. I am so thinking about buying small sample size burlap bags and filling them with Dominican coffee beans to throw in my welcome bags or to give as favors at the wedding. I wonder if it is easy to get their coffee beans? Any other favor suggestions?

hmmm i know the resort Im staying at has them in the gift shop. My mom loooooves the dominican coffee and i bring the packages they leave in the room for her all the time. What resort are you staying at?

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Originally Posted by moodyc82 View Post

 

Ladies......I was a complete bridezilla last night.....and I think it is spreading into today as well. I need to vent a bit.....My FI's father is a worthless drunk. In the 3.5yrs we've dated he has never been around and my FI doesn't have a relationship with him. When my FI graduated the police academy this scum didn't show up b/c my FI didn't call him on his birthday......oh I'm sorry, but it was 3days before he graduated and passing the academy was a little bit more important. Moving on......so that christmas he decided to take Roy and his brother out to dinner and gave him a check for like $200 for a "graduation present". OK.....so that was 2011......now we never have really had contact with him since. We got engaged March 16th, Roy called his father to tell him we are engaged.....his father decided he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. Well, this was April 4th I believe that we went (first saturday in April) and we are sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant waiting for his worthless father when we suddenly get a call from him (mind you it's 5pm). He calls and says he's lost........we immediately knew he was drunk b/c we were at the restaurant they always go to for the last 30yrs.......well, Roy gives him directions. 10mins later his father calls again that he's been in an accident.....at this point he is SO intoxicated that he can't even tell us where he is. Well every min for 15mins this SOB kept calling us asking when we will get there.....well we tell him to put a cop on the phone and he does and we find out where he is (literally 5mins from the restaurant). We go and there's 3 cop cars and a motorcycle cop and the damn women he hit. Well get this, this SOB hit this women at a light, and than drove 5miles away trying to escape......Well, it would of helped if he didn't leave his damn liscence plate at the scene of the accident!!!!!!! So, all he keeps asking Roy is "what are you going to do for me". Well, he gets arrested after failing the test, IN FRONT OF US. We end up having to call his brother to go sign him out b/c Roy can't because of his job and I can't b/c I'm his future wife. Well, lets just say they did this man a HUGE favor as far as not throwing the book at him. 3hrs after they arrest him they made him blow.....he blew a .30........3hrs later!???!!!~?! So we have to drive him home b/c they impounded his car....so the whole ride home he acts like nothing is wrong....and that now we're going to have to be a taxi service to him........They take him to court on that Monday and he gets his lis. taken away for 7months and when he gets it back he has to have the machine put in his car to have it be able to start when he blows in it........WELL, the next day while he's at work his mother (roy's grandma) (96yrs old) falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, shoulder, and leg. So now this SOB expects us to drive him back and fourth to the hospital every single day (they're 40mins from us). This went on until she finally died on June 15th......Now on father's day Roy decided to be the bigger person and call him, well the father wants to go out to dinner......we go and this SOB has a siezure at the diner b/c he didn't drink for 8hrs.....we rush him to the hospital and he tells the doctors and everyone else he doesn't drink......seriously?! So I left the room, not sure what was said to him by Roy and his brother but I know whatever it was it was harsh. Well, he was released the next day and given detox drugs and asked for us to go to dinner.....do you see a patern here? I never actually get to eat the dinner I'm invited to.......well, he acts like NOTHING happened. Nothing.....the doctor told him he is dying b/c of the drinking and he pretends like nothing is wrong.......I have not seen the man since. And since March I said he was uninvited to the wedding, that I'm not babysitting him in another country and I'm not having my wedding day ruined. Well, yesterday my FI was with his mother (ugh another long story, MONSTER-in-law) and she tells him he's actually been sober and that maybe we should think about inviting him.....girls I lost it.....I mean absolutely lost it and flipped out and said I didn't care if he was the king of Prussia and had a check for $2million dollars that I did not want him there and if he wanted him there than we are calling off the destination wedding and we'll go get married in Vegas.....I just can't deal with him being at the wedding with the thought of unlimited alchol around and available 24/7.....am I being an ass?

I have this same issue with the FBIL who may or may not be able to go b/c of his immigration status. I just tell my FI, if he goes..you and your MOTHER are watching him b/c if i hear so much as a snide comment, it's a wrap. We'll see. My aunt has the same issue with the drinking and my mom lectured the shit out of her before my engagement party and she behaved herself. I can only hope for the same in DR.

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Originally Posted by moodyc82 View Post

 

Ladies......I was a complete bridezilla last night.....and I think it is spreading into today as well. I need to vent a bit.....My FI's father is a worthless drunk. In the 3.5yrs we've dated he has never been around and my FI doesn't have a relationship with him. When my FI graduated the police academy this scum didn't show up b/c my FI didn't call him on his birthday......oh I'm sorry, but it was 3days before he graduated and passing the academy was a little bit more important. Moving on......so that christmas he decided to take Roy and his brother out to dinner and gave him a check for like $200 for a "graduation present". OK.....so that was 2011......now we never have really had contact with him since. We got engaged March 16th, Roy called his father to tell him we are engaged.....his father decided he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. Well, this was April 4th I believe that we went (first saturday in April) and we are sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant waiting for his worthless father when we suddenly get a call from him (mind you it's 5pm). He calls and says he's lost........we immediately knew he was drunk b/c we were at the restaurant they always go to for the last 30yrs.......well, Roy gives him directions. 10mins later his father calls again that he's been in an accident.....at this point he is SO intoxicated that he can't even tell us where he is. Well every min for 15mins this SOB kept calling us asking when we will get there.....well we tell him to put a cop on the phone and he does and we find out where he is (literally 5mins from the restaurant). We go and there's 3 cop cars and a motorcycle cop and the damn women he hit. Well get this, this SOB hit this women at a light, and than drove 5miles away trying to escape......Well, it would of helped if he didn't leave his damn liscence plate at the scene of the accident!!!!!!! So, all he keeps asking Roy is "what are you going to do for me". Well, he gets arrested after failing the test, IN FRONT OF US. We end up having to call his brother to go sign him out b/c Roy can't because of his job and I can't b/c I'm his future wife. Well, lets just say they did this man a HUGE favor as far as not throwing the book at him. 3hrs after they arrest him they made him blow.....he blew a .30........3hrs later!???!!!~?! So we have to drive him home b/c they impounded his car....so the whole ride home he acts like nothing is wrong....and that now we're going to have to be a taxi service to him........They take him to court on that Monday and he gets his lis. taken away for 7months and when he gets it back he has to have the machine put in his car to have it be able to start when he blows in it........WELL, the next day while he's at work his mother (roy's grandma) (96yrs old) falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, shoulder, and leg. So now this SOB expects us to drive him back and fourth to the hospital every single day (they're 40mins from us). This went on until she finally died on June 15th......Now on father's day Roy decided to be the bigger person and call him, well the father wants to go out to dinner......we go and this SOB has a siezure at the diner b/c he didn't drink for 8hrs.....we rush him to the hospital and he tells the doctors and everyone else he doesn't drink......seriously?! So I left the room, not sure what was said to him by Roy and his brother but I know whatever it was it was harsh. Well, he was released the next day and given detox drugs and asked for us to go to dinner.....do you see a patern here? I never actually get to eat the dinner I'm invited to.......well, he acts like NOTHING happened. Nothing.....the doctor told him he is dying b/c of the drinking and he pretends like nothing is wrong.......I have not seen the man since. And since March I said he was uninvited to the wedding, that I'm not babysitting him in another country and I'm not having my wedding day ruined. Well, yesterday my FI was with his mother (ugh another long story, MONSTER-in-law) and she tells him he's actually been sober and that maybe we should think about inviting him.....girls I lost it.....I mean absolutely lost it and flipped out and said I didn't care if he was the king of Prussia and had a check for $2million dollars that I did not want him there and if he wanted him there than we are calling off the destination wedding and we'll go get married in Vegas.....I just can't deal with him being at the wedding with the thought of unlimited alchol around and available 24/7.....am I being an ass?

 

{{HUGS}}  I haven't dealt with addiction in a family member up close like this, but my sympathies go out to you and your FH.  This man clearly has an addiction and has relapsed multiple times.  To be in a place with unlimited alcohol such as an all-inclusive seems to be asking for trouble! So, the short answer is, no, you are absolutely not being a bridezilla and your mother in law is foul for even bringing this up.  I would stick to your guns and request that your FH back you up on this decision, regardless of what his mother's opinion might be. 

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I honestly think that a person with an alcohol addiction and an all inclusive resort are not a good mix, I hope your FH can see this as well. You are not being a bridezilla. 

Originally Posted by moodyc82 View Post

Ladies......I was a complete bridezilla last night.....and I think it is spreading into today as well. I need to vent a bit.....My FI's father is a worthless drunk. In the 3.5yrs we've dated he has never been around and my FI doesn't have a relationship with him. When my FI graduated the police academy this scum didn't show up b/c my FI didn't call him on his birthday......oh I'm sorry, but it was 3days before he graduated and passing the academy was a little bit more important. Moving on......so that christmas he decided to take Roy and his brother out to dinner and gave him a check for like $200 for a "graduation present". OK.....so that was 2011......now we never have really had contact with him since. We got engaged March 16th, Roy called his father to tell him we are engaged.....his father decided he wanted to take us out to dinner to celebrate our engagement. Well, this was April 4th I believe that we went (first saturday in April) and we are sitting in the parking lot of the restaurant waiting for his worthless father when we suddenly get a call from him (mind you it's 5pm). He calls and says he's lost........we immediately knew he was drunk b/c we were at the restaurant they always go to for the last 30yrs.......well, Roy gives him directions. 10mins later his father calls again that he's been in an accident.....at this point he is SO intoxicated that he can't even tell us where he is. Well every min for 15mins this SOB kept calling us asking when we will get there.....well we tell him to put a cop on the phone and he does and we find out where he is (literally 5mins from the restaurant). We go and there's 3 cop cars and a motorcycle cop and the damn women he hit. Well get this, this SOB hit this women at a light, and than drove 5miles away trying to escape......Well, it would of helped if he didn't leave his damn liscence plate at the scene of the accident!!!!!!! So, all he keeps asking Roy is "what are you going to do for me". Well, he gets arrested after failing the test, IN FRONT OF US. We end up having to call his brother to go sign him out b/c Roy can't because of his job and I can't b/c I'm his future wife. Well, lets just say they did this man a HUGE favor as far as not throwing the book at him. 3hrs after they arrest him they made him blow.....he blew a .30........3hrs later!???!!!~?! So we have to drive him home b/c they impounded his car....so the whole ride home he acts like nothing is wrong....and that now we're going to have to be a taxi service to him........They take him to court on that Monday and he gets his lis. taken away for 7months and when he gets it back he has to have the machine put in his car to have it be able to start when he blows in it........WELL, the next day while he's at work his mother (roy's grandma) (96yrs old) falls down the stairs and breaks her hip, shoulder, and leg. So now this SOB expects us to drive him back and fourth to the hospital every single day (they're 40mins from us). This went on until she finally died on June 15th......Now on father's day Roy decided to be the bigger person and call him, well the father wants to go out to dinner......we go and this SOB has a siezure at the diner b/c he didn't drink for 8hrs.....we rush him to the hospital and he tells the doctors and everyone else he doesn't drink......seriously?! So I left the room, not sure what was said to him by Roy and his brother but I know whatever it was it was harsh. Well, he was released the next day and given detox drugs and asked for us to go to dinner.....do you see a patern here? I never actually get to eat the dinner I'm invited to.......well, he acts like NOTHING happened. Nothing.....the doctor told him he is dying b/c of the drinking and he pretends like nothing is wrong.......I have not seen the man since. And since March I said he was uninvited to the wedding, that I'm not babysitting him in another country and I'm not having my wedding day ruined. Well, yesterday my FI was with his mother (ugh another long story, MONSTER-in-law) and she tells him he's actually been sober and that maybe we should think about inviting him.....girls I lost it.....I mean absolutely lost it and flipped out and said I didn't care if he was the king of Prussia and had a check for $2million dollars that I did not want him there and if he wanted him there than we are calling off the destination wedding and we'll go get married in Vegas.....I just can't deal with him being at the wedding with the thought of unlimited alchol around and available 24/7.....am I being an ass?

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Originally Posted by MissJali View Post

 

I have this same issue with the FBIL who may or may not be able to go b/c of his immigration status. I just tell my FI, if he goes..you and your MOTHER are watching him b/c if i hear so much as a snide comment, it's a wrap. We'll see. My aunt has the same issue with the drinking and my mom lectured the shit out of her before my engagement party and she behaved herself. I can only hope for the same in DR.

 

Originally Posted by brownsugarbride View Post

 

 

{{HUGS}}  I haven't dealt with addiction in a family member up close like this, but my sympathies go out to you and your FH.  This man clearly has an addiction and has relapsed multiple times.  To be in a place with unlimited alcohol such as an all-inclusive seems to be asking for trouble! So, the short answer is, no, you are absolutely not being a bridezilla and your mother in law is foul for even bringing this up.  I would stick to your guns and request that your FH back you up on this decision, regardless of what his mother's opinion might be. 

 

Originally Posted by MrsTobeD View Post

 

I honestly think that a person with an alcohol addiction and an all inclusive resort are not a good mix, I hope your FH can see this as well. You are not being a bridezilla. 

Thank you ladies for the support. His mother is pushing the issue b/c the idiot father said he would pay for her and his brother (yet they've been divorced for 20yrs). And FI only has thought about it b/c he's worth a lot of money and he is afraid if we don't invite him that we will be writen out of the will. I told him no money in the world is worth any of this drama......I'm not even sure how to get him to see my POV. Plus, my wedding invites are done and printed and his father isn't listed in the invites and I'm not changing them nor am I listing him anywhere. In all honesty I want nothing to do with him and i'm so sick of this wedding being all about what his mother and brother wants. Last I checked I'm the bride

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Originally Posted by moodyc82 View Post

 

 

 

Thank you ladies for the support. His mother is pushing the issue b/c the idiot father said he would pay for her and his brother (yet they've been divorced for 20yrs). And FI only has thought about it b/c he's worth a lot of money and he is afraid if we don't invite him that we will be writen out of the will. I told him no money in the world is worth any of this drama......I'm not even sure how to get him to see my POV. Plus, my wedding invites are done and printed and his father isn't listed in the invites and I'm not changing them nor am I listing him anywhere. In all honesty I want nothing to do with him and i'm so sick of this wedding being all about what his mother and brother wants. Last I checked I'm the bride

 

Money with these kinds of strings isn't even worth it. 

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