Tired of Complaints and Feeling Guilty at the same time!

[brgephar]

I am so comforted to know it's normal to experience this kind of push-back from guests. I am getting the comments and opinions already  and my invitations aren't even out yet. Like someone said above, we have been telling people as long as we have been together that WHEN we got married it WOULD be a Destination Wedding. I'm not sure if people thought we would back out or were just saying it for fun or what??

 

I know it will only get worse once the invitations are actually out and people truly have to decide one way or another.. So I'm "hoping for the best but preparing for the worst" as they say! All in all, we are all marrying the men we love and everything will turn out perfectly <3 Keep your heads up fellow Destination Brides and stay strong!!

[nbateman]

Originally Posted by brgephar 

 

I am so comforted to know it's normal to experience this kind of push-back from guests. I am getting the comments and opinions already  and my invitations aren't even out yet. Like someone said above, we have been telling people as long as we have been together that WHEN we got married it WOULD be a Destination Wedding. I'm not sure if people thought we would back out or were just saying it for fun or what??

 

I know it will only get worse once the invitations are actually out and people truly have to decide one way or another.. So I'm "hoping for the best but preparing for the worst" as they say! All in all, we are all marrying the men we love and everything will turn out perfectly <3 Keep your heads up fellow Destination Brides and stay strong!!

HAHA, same exact thing here! We have always said we wanna do something different, all of our friends have been so excited to see what we were going to plan because I've always said destination wedding. As soon as we decided on a place and date and people started checking out the details of our destination wedding they started to bail and complain about the cost, and blah blah blah.  Over it! We gave people a year notice and only a $100 deposit was necessary within 30 days after sending out the save the date, but I will be interested in seeing who books after the invites go out.  After they complain that they can't afford it when they should have booked 6 months before then when they had more time to save, sheesh!

[Marymack]

At the end of the day you gotta realize its about you and the man you love!!! And while we all long for family and friends acceptance you sometimes do what you gotta do....Move forward without them!!!

[Cherina]

Thank you ladies for sharing! I can not add because you guys have said it all, but thank you for letting me know I am not alone.

[catgirl]

We are getting this as well and we picked a DW for a lot of the reasons mentioned.  My Fi's and his family is from New Zealand, my family is from the Chicago area and we are moving to the Bay Area in less than 2 months.  We have friends scattered all over the world as well. 

 

I don't want to plan a big traditional wedding in Chicago from San Francisco.  I don't want to plan a traditional wedding in San Francisco, especially being new to the area.  We don't even want a big traditional wedding.  We wanted something fun, low-key and casual with our family and friends.  Because of this, we picked a DW.  This way it is equal opportunity travel and there is no perception of geographical favoritism.  We picked a neutral place to where everyone has to travel since we are inviting people from all over.

 

We haven't sent the invites out yet, that is happening within the next few weeks.  I have some friends who are proactively reaching out regarding pricing, TA info, how to book, etc.  And others I am getting I get the "oh, it's not convenient for me", or "isn't Mexico unsafe and we would get shot or killed?", and other variations of this.  Why would I pick somewhere to get married where I would willingly put people in harms way?

 

I find it sad that my mom hasn't even put a deposit on the room and I am getting feedback that my step-dad won't attend.  Seriously?  He has been a part of my life for over 20 years and he won't attend because "he doesn't like Mexico".  At Christmas dinner, I was getting lots of comments about the decision to have a DW from people who I am inviting but don't expect to attend.

 

Fi's mom already has her air booked from NZ and it is a heck of a lot more than what it will cost for 2 people to fly from Chicago.  My mom is complaining about the fares, the rates, everything.  

 

This is even before the invites have been sent!!!

 

So, I am at the point that whoever attends, attends.  We will have fun celebrating with those who do show up and celebrate our marriage.  Fi reminds me that its about us all the time, especially when I start stressing.  

 

Fi:  "are you going to be there?

Me:  "yes"

Fi:  "well,I am going to be there, that is all we need"

[Marymack]

The sad thing is that there even has to be a post about this....

[nbateman]

Originally Posted by Marymack 

 

The sad thing is that there even has to be a post about this....

yep, agreed! I do feel that destination wedding guests have to deal with more guest complaining than a normal bride, but oh well, that's life...can't please everyone!

[Cherina]

yep, agreed! I do feel that destination wedding guests have to deal with more guest complaining than a normal bride, but oh well, that's life...can't please everyone!

I spoke with DH about t for a few hours last night and we just decided that this is about us. He is not going to allow me to stress or allow others to stress me (we'll see how that works) but the bottom line is guest have 18 months to work it out. I am planning a once in a lifetime event for our friends and family and unfortunately for some it will be none in a lifetime but has he pointed out the fewer people who go the more $$$ I have to make thing even more fab for everyone else. #glasshalffull

[nbateman]

Originally Posted by catgirl 

 

We are getting this as well and we picked a DW for a lot of the reasons mentioned.  My Fi's and his family is from New Zealand, my family is from the Chicago area and we are moving to the Bay Area in less than 2 months.  We have friends scattered all over the world as well. 

 

I don't want to plan a big traditional wedding in Chicago from San Francisco.  I don't want to plan a traditional wedding in San Francisco, especially being new to the area.  We don't even want a big traditional wedding.  We wanted something fun, low-key and casual with our family and friends.  Because of this, we picked a DW.  This way it is equal opportunity travel and there is no perception of geographical favoritism.  We picked a neutral place to where everyone has to travel since we are inviting people from all over.

 

We haven't sent the invites out yet, that is happening within the next few weeks.  I have some friends who are proactively reaching out regarding pricing, TA info, how to book, etc.  And others I am getting I get the "oh, it's not convenient for me", or "isn't Mexico unsafe and we would get shot or killed?", and other variations of this.  Why would I pick somewhere to get married where I would willingly put people in harms way?

 

I find it sad that my mom hasn't even put a deposit on the room and I am getting feedback that my step-dad won't attend.  Seriously?  He has been a part of my life for over 20 years and he won't attend because "he doesn't like Mexico".  At Christmas dinner, I was getting lots of comments about the decision to have a DW from people who I am inviting but don't expect to attend.

 

Fi's mom already has her air booked from NZ and it is a heck of a lot more than what it will cost for 2 people to fly from Chicago.  My mom is complaining about the fares, the rates, everything.  

 

This is even before the invites have been sent!!!

 

So, I am at the point that whoever attends, attends.  We will have fun celebrating with those who do show up and celebrate our marriage.  Fi reminds me that its about us all the time, especially when I start stressing.  

 

Fi:  "are you going to be there?

Me:  "yes"

Fi:  "well,I am going to be there, that is all we need"

I love it when I get feedback about Mexico, I'm with you, why in the world would I pick a shady or unsafe place to celebrate my WEDDING?!! Come on people, its beautiful! It's these old school attitudes that won't even look at the resort's website because they think Mexico is dirty or unsafe.  I have found the mothers to have a strange attitude about the whole destination wedding idea, your damned if you do a traditional wedding and damned if you don't.  I love your last comment, and I'm with you, as long as my fiance is there, that's all that matters!

[LoriGran]

Wow, I can definitely relate to this thread. My FI and I knew we wanted a destination wedding and when we attended one 2 years ago, it reassured us even more. As far as the destination I wanted a place I had never been before. I have already attended 2 weddings in Punta Cana and well I wanted something different so we went with Mexico. Now my FI sister is making a big stink on how its unsafe and she's not sure if she's going. I just don't want her to convince other family members not to go because that would get me really upset. It just comes down to this, ANY WHERE you go is unsafe! We are unsafe in our own towns. Whoever wants to be there with us will make it a point to be there not matter what!!!