Crisis - family member ruins entire plan to have a DW.

[Gin Bootles]

sounds like my issue... in http://www.bestdestinationwedding.com/t/75572/family-dilemma-help that thread.. well it should be up to you and your fi because it is your wedding and your day.. but after the drama i have gone through and still am going through.. i just really thought deep and hard to see what we wanted to do... so yes again in saying it is your wedding and your day.. but with everyone's feelings in mind,  it is just one day.. (as i have been constantly reminded) this is why i cancelled mine.. it breaks my heart, but i have to realize so there wont be family fights in the future.. it is better off to give in to it and just have an at home.. at least that is my opinion, that is what i did. i know it sucks, but really think what you and your fi want. just throwing in my 2 cents

[ReganP]

I agree with everyone else, proceed with your DW plans and if your FI and his brother are as close as it sounds he will come! I understand them not wanting to bring the baby not only because of the vaccination issue but just because going on vacation with an infant might be a little stressful. Also, if you still want vaccine info here's what the CDC says.

 

That being said, I still think your future SIL is being a little selfish and spiteful and as others said earlier, you don't want to give up your dream wedding for her because you will likely end of resenting her for years to come and that could make family time rather unpleasant.

 

Best of luck and keep us updated on your decision!

[sillafeliz]

UPDATE!

 

After speaking with my BIL one-on-one, offering to pay for him for four days...his response was something along the lines of:

 

"I just want you guys to know you've put me in a really hard place, because no matter what my decision, someone is going to be really upset. But I'll go for the four days."

 

Sooo, at that, I emailed our travel agent and as of TODAY we are BOOKED! If he changes his mind now, then I'm going without him. Haha.

 

Thanks to everyone who gave their advice. I'm glad it did work out (or has so far)...I just hope that all of our other family members can come! **Knock on wood, fingers crossed** All of our most important and closest family members have said they will come!

 

Gin Bootles: I am soo sorry to hear that yours didn't get to happen! To me, that is truly heart breaking. Yes, it is only one day, but the memories made at a DW will last a life time, and only come around once in a life time. Thats really too bad your family didn't see it that way.

 

Thanks again!

[Branya2012]

YAY!!! Congrats on booking! That is very, very exciting!

 

Originally Posted by sillafeliz 

UPDATE!

 

After speaking with my BIL one-on-one, offering to pay for him for four days...his response was something along the lines of:

 

"I just want you guys to know you've put me in a really hard place, because no matter what my decision, someone is going to be really upset. But I'll go for the four days."

 

Sooo, at that, I emailed our travel agent and as of TODAY we are BOOKED! If he changes his mind now, then I'm going without him. Haha.

 

Thanks to everyone who gave their advice. I'm glad it did work out (or has so far)...I just hope that all of our other family members can come! **Knock on wood, fingers crossed** All of our most important and closest family members have said they will come!

 

Gin Bootles: I am soo sorry to hear that yours didn't get to happen! To me, that is truly heart breaking. Yes, it is only one day, but the memories made at a DW will last a life time, and only come around once in a life time. Thats really too bad your family didn't see it that way.

 

Thanks again!

[SammyAnna]

Yes, I would go ahead with the wedding. My FI best man (bestest buddy in the whole world, they live on opposite sides of the country & still talk everyday) had the same problem.  His wife held a grudge against my FI for not attending their DW back in the day. We were not together at the time & my FI was admittedly irresponsible & didn't save properly.

My FI asked him to be best man at the DW & he said yes, but that all changed when he talked it over with her.  Then the friend was avoiding any wedding talk, so we asked him. He said he was still trying to talk it over with the wife. She was saying the reason they couldn't go is because of $ (which we all know is just an excuse). So we suggested he take the trip alone (since she takes vacays 3-4 times/year without him) but she won't let him.  Its quite disappointing but it was ultimately his choice, we wouldn't change anything to accomodate them knowing full well it would just be excuse after excuse no matter what we did. They are still best friends, but we know now who is calling all the shots. Unfortunately it has caused alot of friction between my FI best friend & his wife...I don't think he will ever forgive her for taking that away from him sad

Anyway, thats my two cents lol Hope it all worked out for you Cheers!