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Legal marriage at home before DW Advice?


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If a "real" wedding is when a judge declares you married, then your really not "married" if you follow the legal processes at your DW. It doesn't become legal until (if) those documents are translated here and deemed creditable and legal. So it comes down to being legally married before or after... you really aren't married for "real" at your DW either way. Everyone is certainly entitled to their own opinions and should 100% follow their personal wishes for their weddings however those are truly the options. BEFORE or AFTER, if you want to be literal. ;) 

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After reading this thread I feel "lucky" that everyone I have told about doing the legal wedding the weekend before is happy for us and thinks its a great idea.  Unfortunately between my job and my fiances business we had such a small window to actually get married doing a legal ceremony in Mexico wasn't even an option for us with all of their restrictions. 

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I had my civil/church ceremony just this past friday and it was intimate just our immediate family.  It was perfect and I'm glad I did it this way.  LIke everyone else doing it legal in Mexico was more work and money and my family understood that and actually they were glad that we decided to do it at our hometown church first.  One main factor for doing it at home was also so my fiance's father could attend as he will not be joining us in Mexico for health reasons.  Other family members from both sides who will not be with us in Cancun also got to attend the church ceremony and were glad to share in the day.  I didn't advertise it to everyone that's joining us in Cancun that we were getting married at home first but I also will not lie to them about it if asked I really don't think the friends and family I have would really care.  Both weddings are very real and will be celebrated full of love and happiness with all of our guests. This is what worked for my fiance and I and that's ok. Now only 8 more days until I'm off to Cancun!!!   :D

Edited by NJBride2014
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We wanted our wedding date to be our actual wedding date, which is why we got married in Jamaica. it was super easy, even though we were both divorced and the nice part is we were legally married on the day.....  That was our preference. I did investigate Mexico and as much as it was what I wanted intiially, the "getting there" was just too much between translations and so on.

 

Ladies... I'm going to admit to my old age showing here and also to being a bit perplexed only by the fact that this is a "trend". And this is in no way passing judgment on anyone.... so PLEASE don't take it that way. I will admit to not understanding the thing about getting married on one day but doing your symbolic on another. I'm saying this because my son married an American girl and her family helped her with the visa process for him from canada. They had to be married within 90 days of him arriving but it was march. So they married at the courthouse a week after he arrived but then had a "wedding" at the end of September so essentially 6 months later. That was for the benefit of family.

 

Here is my confusion. They were married in March. Why isn't that their anniversary date? They had the wedding thingy 6 months later but why does she celebrate that as their anniversary? It was only symbolic so why not the actual March date?

 

Again - no judgment. Just curious.......  I sort of understand it for mexico because of what's involved and I do understand about wanting family there and loved ones, but again, why not celebrate your actual wedding date? The date you actually get legally married just as your anniversary date?

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I plan on celebrating both! Hahahaha since my symbolic date is a leap year (feb 29) I think I deserve to get double the celebration every 4 years!

 

 

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I had my civil/church ceremony just this past friday and it was intimate just our immediate family.  It was perfect and I'm glad I did it this way.  LIke everyone else doing it legal in Mexico was more work and money and my family understood that and actually they were glad that we decided to do it at our hometown church first.  One main factor for doing it at home was also so my fiance's father could attend as he will not be joining us in Mexico for health reasons.  Other family members from both sides who will not be with us in Cancun also got to attend the church ceremony and were glad to share in the day.  I didn't advertise it to everyone that's joining us in Cancun that we were getting married at home first but I also will not lie to them about it if asked I really don't think the friends and family I have would really care.  Both weddings are very real and will be celebrated full of love and happiness with all of our guests. This is what worked for my fiance and I and that's ok. Now only 8 more days until I'm off to Cancun!!!   :D

 

Congrats!! and yay for leaving in 8 days!  Can't wait to hear all about it.

 

I have decided to also not tell anyone, but if someone directly asks me I won't lie either.  

We wanted our wedding date to be our actual wedding date, which is why we got married in Jamaica. it was super easy, even though we were both divorced and the nice part is we were legally married on the day.....  That was our preference. I did investigate Mexico and as much as it was what I wanted intiially, the "getting there" was just too much between translations and so on.

 

Ladies... I'm going to admit to my old age showing here and also to being a bit perplexed only by the fact that this is a "trend". And this is in no way passing judgment on anyone.... so PLEASE don't take it that way. I will admit to not understanding the thing about getting married on one day but doing your symbolic on another. I'm saying this because my son married an American girl and her family helped her with the visa process for him from canada. They had to be married within 90 days of him arriving but it was march. So they married at the courthouse a week after he arrived but then had a "wedding" at the end of September so essentially 6 months later. That was for the benefit of family.

 

Here is my confusion. They were married in March. Why isn't that their anniversary date? They had the wedding thingy 6 months later but why does she celebrate that as their anniversary? It was only symbolic so why not the actual March date?

 

Again - no judgment. Just curious.......  I sort of understand it for mexico because of what's involved and I do understand about wanting family there and loved ones, but again, why not celebrate your actual wedding date? The date you actually get legally married just as your anniversary date?

 

HAHA the Justice of the Peace here in Calgary said 'lucky you, now you get 2 anniversaries' 

We have decided to celebrate on the symbolic day, as to us this is our wedding as we are celebrating it with family and friends.  

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The original date I wanted will be the day we get married (it didn't work out to do a wedding that day because of me having to travel across the country for work).   Our dates will only be 7 days apart and I kind of joked with my fiance that we will have 2 anniversary's too.  I really really wanted to legally get married in Mexico, there was just no way it could work out.  I think we will end up celebrating on our legal wedding date since that will be the "real" anniversary. 

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