Legal marriage at home before DW Advice?

[candle23]

We have made the choice to have a symbolic ceremony in Mexico and then sign the legal papers when we get home. It was just a matter of personal preference for us really as we want our DW to be the day we consider our wedding day.

 

Also, we will probably just do it with a couple friends as our witnesses or we would have to make a big deal of the whole thing.

[Lia33]

We are doing it a week before and absolutely no one except our witnesses will know and they will be people NOT attending the wedding. It's our little secret. (At first we hadn't planned the witnesses to not attend the wedding. we decided too after a few friends couldn't come and were close enough to ask and would make sure it didn't leak out -- could change in the next 5 months though!)

I don't think it takes away from it at all because at the end of the day the DW is your wedding and your anniversary you'll celebrate IMO ... it's just not legal.

Have to decide what's most important to you. But if your grandma is present I'm sure the fact your DW isn't legal won't be a secret.

 

Edit. Almost wonder if after is safer so I don't blow my own cover lmao. Unsure why I chose before!

 

 

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Lol!! That I would be afraid of too! Who can stay quiet knowing that they are now officially married?? lol I've mentioned to my dad before that my grandmother isn't attending but he isn't thinking that there is a separate legal ceremony happening. I'm pretty open with my dad so keep this to myself makes me feel guilty! I was going to wait till closer to the date and say the Mexico legal ceremony is just too much of a hassle so we will do it separately. Maybe that IS the way to go lol 

 

I would just like to be in Mexico as husband and wife - then it's really like a honeymoon. I was concerned that wearing white before the DW ceremony may take away from it but maybe I'm just overthinking it. A legal city hall visit will not be anything compared to the DW ceremony. 

@@candle23 This is also why I would have liked to do it before Mexico - our anniversary of being together is June 25th, DW is July 18th. So it would be a nice little event to do on our anniversary - which is a date we would always acknowledge. We would celebrate our wedding date as our DW date. 

[chelseapaige37]

I'm still debating about doing it before or after - but for us , the legality is so unimportant we hardly care. We have 2 kids, and have been common law for 5 years. The marriage license is just paperwork. The act of walking down the aisle, having a ceremony and reception is what will feel official to me .

 

 

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[MrsCtoB]

Debating before or after as well...Original thoughts were before but my town does not require a public courthouse type of deal. So now thinking either VERY close to leaving for the DW or soon after. I had a friend who did it in her living room the night before they took off for the DW.  Don't think I would do it then as I am sure I will be a basket of nerves trying to remember everything but goes to show its really up to you and FI and whatever you both feel comfortable with.

[calgarybride2015]

Debating before or after as well...Original thoughts were before but my town does not require a public courthouse type of deal. So now thinking either VERY close to leaving for the DW or soon after. I had a friend who did it in her living room the night before they took off for the DW. Don't think I would do it then as I am sure I will be a basket of nerves trying to remember everything but goes to show its really up to you and FI and whatever you both feel comfortable with.

We can't do it at the courthouse here. You hire a justice of the peace and do it wherever you want as well! Night before would be too much for me too. We hadn't put much thought in yet where it would actually take place but it will be quick and simple. The DW is also what counts to us.

 

 

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[MrsCtoB]

@@calgarybride2015 Agreed! Want to keep it simple and quick. The DW is what will feel real to us regardless.

[Lia33]

Very true ladies. I know even if I will be in a little white dress for the courthouse, it will be something so quickly done that it shouldn't take away from anything as far as the DW. Maybe my grandmother won't notice if we don't exchange rings. Maybe I'll have him put my engagement ring back on me lol I think I would like to save the ring exchange for the DW. I think I'll wait closer to the date to let my father know the plan. 

[NJBride2014]

My fiance and I actually decided to do a legal/church ceremony before we go to Mexico.  Our ceremony is next Friday...ahhh! It'll be a short ceremony with our priest and parents, siblings and just a couple of family members who can't come to Mexico.  I haven't advertised it to the friends who are coming to Mexico but if they find out I don't think they will care that we are already married. At least I hope not. At first I just wanted to do the simple courthouse ceremony but my fiance really wanted to do it at our church.  The church ceremony will be straightforward and we will recite the traditional vows they require at the DW it will be more personalized and we will do our it our way.  We get the best of both worlds now.  My fiance's father actually decided only a couple months ago not to go to Mexico because he says he's not healthy enough to go so its a good thing we are doing something at home so he can be present.  After the ceremony we are just going to a local restaurant with our family and having a private dinner.  I guess it'll be nice to be able to visit the church where we got married and one day might have our kids baptized in. This is what worked for us.  I say do whatever works for you.  As for the anniversary date we will celebrate the DW date but if my hubby wants to give me a little something for both I'll gladly accept. lol j/k

[calgarybride2015]

@@NJBride2014

 

Perfect!  I don't think anyone coming to our wedding would care either, but I can't be sure so we've just decided to keep it a secret.  Enjoy!!   So close

[Lia33]

@@NJBride2014 Exciting that your ceremony is coming up soon! That sounds good that you guys are fine with having the church ceremony before. I'm liking the idea of getting married here before hand and less worried about it affecting anything. Writing your own vows for the DW definitely helps personalize it even more too. Originally I didn't want to - my fiancé is much better with his words that I am...I'm afraid of hearing crickets when I speak and sobs for when he does loll 

 

@@calgarybride2015 I'll keep it a secret from most people! Actually more so from my fiancé's side. I couldn't keep my mouth shut with my friends since I needed to vent about my debate of legal vs. symbolic lol