Wedding dress stress!!!! venting big time!

[DwBride2Be]

Hey Ladies,

 

I'm not often a thread starter, I normally just pipe in when something hit's home..but today I'm having issue's.

 

My FI and I are from different parts of the country, we live in Alberta where I was born and raised, and he's from PEI so all his friends and family are still there!    So in Alberta we have tons of wedding boutiques, and I would have been more than able to buy a dress here with a local shop, however one of Josh's good friends (We'll call her J) has a bridal boutique in his hometown and we had visited last Christmas, so I purchased my dress to be ordered through her.  I was trying to be supportive, and I understand small business can be tough, so if anyone got my business I wanted it to be her.

 

So I ordered my dress (a fairly common one sold by at least 4 stores here in Edmonton), December 28, 2011.   At that time she told me the ship date was May 15 and it would go back to her store, then when she recieved it I could either pick it up when we are back there in August, or she could ship it to me at home.    So I was thinking that would be fine.   Also, I had been saving and had the money in the bank, so I paid for the dress with Debit instead of credit card.   Mistake #1!!!  Ladies, use your credit card, I'm learning this the hard way!

 

Then in March her bridal boutique goes under...so now I've paid her in full for a dress that hasn't arrived yet.    She emailed me and said the dress was ordered and would still be shipping out May 15 as per our original discussion at her store in December.    So I decide to give her the benefit of the doubt and wait it out.

 

Now May 15 comes along, and I'm really excited so I emailed her again and asked her for the tracking info so I can monitor my dresses progress.   She replies:

Dress is on route to me and then we can make arrangments to ship to your mothers..

The company will not ship out west I tryed..J

 

So I replied with:  Ok Cool, can you send me the tracking number, and do you know when it'll arrive?

 

She replies:   Should be in my hand within 10 business days.   J

 

So I waited, and 10 business days put us to May 29.    Now on May 30 I emailed her again, and said that 10 days had passed, can she give me an update and the tracking number. 

 

Nothing.  So I facebooked her on June 2 (she had been on facebook posting and liking and commenting so I knew she was online).  Nothing

 

In the meantime Josh had texted her asking for her mailing address so we can send her an invitation (we were sending them all at this time, just coincidence), she didn't reply to him either, therefore she hasn't been sent an invitation yet.

 

So Sunday we were having a family dinner with my family, and everyone starting asking about my dress, and everyone was pretty concerned.  Josh stayed pretty quiet through this whole convo..and eventually my Brother in Law asked Josh directly, are you going to call J and find out about the dress?  And Josh got pretty upset saying it was his friend, and we were all acting like she's a crook, and no he wont phone her on her personal number when it's business related (remember the business went under, we don't exactly have another option)...so I just told everyone to leave it alone and I'de try again this week reaching her.   When we were driving home I reminded Josh that I'm the one he has to live with the rest of his life so if he's on anyone's side, it's mine.  But I understand it's an awkward situation for him too.

 

So Today she replied to my email from last week, and this is what she said:

 

Hey..

 

There is no reason to panic..the dress is fine..the estimate ship date was May 15,2012..I just emailed the company again..I will have an answer for you tomorrow at the latest..I ensure that you will have your dress just like all the other brides and bridesmaids that have been receiving there's in the last few weeks..I have faith that all is well and I will email you back tomorrow..I just opened my email , I was camping with the family and I am so sorry..I do not check this everyday..

 

Talk tomorrow..J

 

So I replied saying, ok I didn't realize May 15 was an estimate, can you give me the tracking number.   No reply.

 

So seriously..at this point I have almost exactly 6 months to my wedding and that's getting late to be ordering a new dress....so I've taken a poll here with my ladies at work and they say give her 1 more week and if she doesn't have it by then, I need to get nasty.

 

So what do you guys think?   Am I better to just wait and see, or start being a bit tougher on her right now??  I'm getting panicky!! HELP!

[AllieH]

I don't know that I have any magic words of advice. I do think you need to get her on the phone and talk to her rather than continuing to go back and forth via email. Tell her you know you're probably bugging her, but you're really concerned about your dress given the circumstances. And be honest with her about it too - it's been 3 weeks past the expected ship date, and she isn't forthcoming with tracking, etc. so you don't know if you should be looking (and saving) for another dress, or if you should wait. 

 

See what she has to say, and if it makes you feel any better about waiting. If not, go hunt for another dress. It sucks. big time. I'm sorry you're dealing with this!!! 

 

 

 

 

 

[murmel]

Oh goodness. What a horrible situation. I would also trying calling her to get to the bottom of it, it is your right to know if the dress is actually coming or not. The good side of this- continue to think positive, and have faith that all will be well. And two, know that if the dress has not arrived by the end of July, you live in a province where there is lots of choice for buying off the rack (if it comes to that). Best wishes, keeping my fingers crossed. And keep us posted!

[DwBride2Be]

Ya you're right, I will talk to her...if I can sneak her phone number from FI's phone. I think I lost all hope when I re-read the first email where she said it was enroute..then all of a sudden that was just an estimate, and people started saying what if she hadn't paid the company yet so I was really getting worried. I'll give her a bit more time, maybe a week, and then go shopping again. I had a wedding nightmare last night (do you guys get those?). Where I had my dress but no shoes and my hair wasn't done...so at least if that's foresight I should have the dress!!

[JayKay]

I hope everything works out for you!  Its always so stressful waiting for the dress to arrive.  I would call her and explain to her that If you dont have the dress in a week you need a refund as you are going to have to purchase a dress some where else to ensure you have a wedding dress for your wedding.

 

Good luck!

Originally Posted by DwBride2Be 

Ya you're right, I will talk to her...if I can sneak her phone number from FI's phone.
I think I lost all hope when I re-read the first email where she said it was enroute..then all of a sudden that was just an estimate, and people started saying what if she hadn't paid the company yet so I was really getting worried. I'll give her a bit more time, maybe a week, and then go shopping again.
I had a wedding nightmare last night (do you guys get those?). Where I had my dress but no shoes and my hair wasn't done...so at least if that's foresight I should have the dress!!

[Mufin1785]

Wow!  What a mess!  My bridal store told me my dress would come in 3 months, but after 3 months they told me it would be arrive in August.... which is 3 more months then originally quoted.  Not a big deal for me b/c they store I ordered from is still in business, and wedding is not until February. 

 

I think your future hubby should step-in and call his friend about the dress.  She probably has no idea when the dress will arrive and does not have a tracking number because it has not been shipped yet. 

 

Good Luck

[murmel]

Originally Posted by DwBride2Be 

 

Ya you're right, I will talk to her...if I can sneak her phone number from FI's phone.

I think I lost all hope when I re-read the first email where she said it was enroute..then all of a sudden that was just an estimate, and people started saying what if she hadn't paid the company yet so I was really getting worried. I'll give her a bit more time, maybe a week, and then go shopping again.

I had a wedding nightmare last night (do you guys get those?). Where I had my dress but no shoes and my hair wasn't done...so at least if that's foresight I should have the dress!!

LOL! Well, at least you're not naked  I had nightmares that my luggage would get lost. So all of my attire and hubby's attire was on the plane in carry-on. I figured if they lost my suitcase then there was always Visa! hee hee

 

I would give her to the end of June at least- but talk to her to figure out if it's coming. Do you know her last name? You should be able to use Canada 411 to get a number if you don't want to ask you FI.

[MissFifi]

Definitely talk to her.  I'm pretty sure she's avoiding you because she's embarassed and you prob won't hear from her until a week or so.  I don't know how much more your fiance can do because it looks like he doesn't want to get caught between you, and unfortunately, she has made it an awkward subject for both of you.

[maridr2012]

Oh my...thats a tough situation you're in!  Here's my 2 cents.  She is really HIS friend, not yours, and you were trying as you said to be supportive of her business.  As a business woman, his friend should understand that if you are tough on her, it's not an attack on her personally, but you're a bride and you asking for answers to questions that aren't out of the norm and you've given her several opportunities to give you an answer.  So, if I were you, I'd pick up the phone and call her personal phone number, since now it has unfortunately reached that level, and tell her you need her to step up and provide you with answers on your questions...it's not personal, but you are a bride after all and you're sure she's dealt with panicking brides before so she can understand.  Also remind her that you were being supportive of her business, and if it had been any other store you would've been more aggressive and taken action.  You don't want to do that to her as you and your FI consider her a friend, but you only have 6 months to go and need to seek other options for a dress if you don't have a solid answer on tracking # within 2 days.  Give her a specific timeframe so she knows you are serious!   Say it as sweetly as you can.  Best of luck!

[DwBride2Be]

Well, apparently the dress arrived!! So now she can ship it to my home, and I'll have it within 3-4 days!!!! I'm glad I didn't have to escalate it and everyone can just move on! Fewft!