Destination: folks I want there v. folks who want to come

[meguita]

We are having our "half" destination wedding in Spain (half because he is Spanish and half our guests will be friends and family from there) and I am facing the conundrum of the guest list. I realize that there are numerous people who I want to (and will) invite who will not be able to attend. Then there are the people (friends I am not much in touch with) who have at some point made a comment that they want to come, who may not be people I would initially invite (we are trying to keep it fairly small). But, since some of my "close circle" friends won't be able to come, that opens up room for others, and if my friends are willing to make the trip and spend the money, I'd love to include them. I don't want to exclude anyone who wants to come, but I also don't want to send out a huge amount of invites...

 

 

So I guess what I'm getting at is:

Is it tacky to send out feelers (emails or fb messages) to folks before save-the-dates are sent out to get an idea on who is able and wanting to attend?

 

Any advice or suggestions for how to word it?

 

Thanks!

[JayKay]

I think that is kind of the point of the STDs, to get an idea of who would like to come and who wouldn't.  As to how many people you invite just know that not all of them will come, but some may suprise you and decide to come when you thought they wouldn't.  I say you need to sit down and write a list of who you will invite while knowing how many people you are willing to have at your wedding. 

Originally Posted by meguita 

We are having our "half" destination wedding in Spain (half because he is Spanish and half our guests will be friends and family from there) and I am facing the conundrum of the guest list. I realize that there are numerous people who I want to (and will) invite who will not be able to attend. Then there are the people (friends I am not much in touch with) who have at some point made a comment that they want to come, who may not be people I would initially invite (we are trying to keep it fairly small). But, since some of my "close circle" friends won't be able to come, that opens up room for others, and if my friends are willing to make the trip and spend the money, I'd love to include them. I don't want to exclude anyone who wants to come, but I also don't want to send out a huge amount of invites...

 

 

So I guess what I'm getting at is:

Is it tacky to send out feelers (emails or fb messages) to folks before save-the-dates are sent out to get an idea on who is able and wanting to attend?

 

Any advice or suggestions for how to word it?

 

Thanks!