Bridal Shower Dilemma...

[JQLong]

O.k.....

 

I have a very small bridal party...I have a maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid (my 16 year old daughter).  My mom called me a little upset the other day because my MOH has not responded to her calls and she has offered to help with my bridal shower.  The thing is...my MOH is unemployed and dealing with some personal issues. My bridesmaid (my daughter) is a student and obviously unemployed.  My parents are paying for our reception in Cancun and I do not want to be a burden on anyone.  I honestly do not care if I have a  shower but I do not want to come off as ungrateful.  Also, we are getting down to the wire as far as time.  There are only 10 weekends before the wedding and I will also be busy with my daughter & her basketball tournaments.  I feel bad because my mom feels terrible that she cannot afford to pay for the entire shower as she feels I deserve one.  Typically the bridal party throws the shower but I am anything but typical.  We intend on having a cookout (AHR) when we return for those that could not make it so I may just advise that I do not want a shower??? 

 

Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

JQ

[ACDCDCAC]

i like your idea of just waiting and having everyone enjoy the AHR BBQ. maybe be honest, just try telling mom that you really dont want to offend anyone but it seems that it may be better off for everyone if you skip the shower part? tell her you honestly dont mind and dont see how it could be fit in.

 

then tell MOH that you want her to know that you wanted her for the importance of the meaning behind it, not so she can lavish you with a fancy party. tell her that you love her and understand where she is coming from and that it would mean more to you if she and your mom agree to not put themselves in a bad financial situation for you.

 

good luck!

[JQLong]

Abbie....

 

Thank you so much for responding.  I agree with what you have said.  My intention is not to put anyone out anymore than they already are.

Having the AHR BBQ will be the best thing.  Thanks!

Originally Posted by Abbie 

i like your idea of just waiting and having everyone enjoy the AHR BBQ. maybe be honest, just try telling mom that you really dont want to offend anyone but it seems that it may be better off for everyone if you skip the shower part? tell her you honestly dont mind and dont see how it could be fit in.

 

then tell MOH that you want her to know that you wanted her for the importance of the meaning behind it, not so she can lavish you with a fancy party. tell her that you love her and understand where she is coming from and that it would mean more to you if she and your mom agree to not put themselves in a bad financial situation for you.

 

good luck!

 

 

[BethSilver]

I think you are very caring for thinking about others during your wedding and taking consideration for your parents and your MOH.  It shows a lot of character.  I love the idea of an AHR BBQ.  Sounds wonderful.  I would just skip the bridal shower if that is what you feel. 

[JQLong]

 

Originally Posted by BethSilver 

I think you are very caring for thinking about others during your wedding and taking consideration for your parents and your MOH.  It shows a lot of character.  I love the idea of an AHR BBQ.  Sounds wonderful.  I would just skip the bridal shower if that is what you feel. 

 

Thanks Beth!  I spoke with my Mom.  I am going to call my MOH tonight. 

[TheWolferts]

Maybe instead of a full on shower, someone could host a small get together at their house and each person could bring a dish and bottle of wine. Then watch sappy, love movies or have them help you with some wedding DIY projects. Or maybe you could do a low key outting like a mani/pedi appointment together or find a group deal on groupon for something fun and adventurous!

[JQLong]

That is an awesome idea!  Thank you!

Originally Posted by TheWolferts 

Maybe instead of a full on shower, someone could host a small get together at their house and each person could bring a dish and bottle of wine. Then watch sappy, love movies or have them help you with some wedding DIY projects. Or maybe you could do a low key outting like a mani/pedi appointment together or find a group deal on groupon for something fun and adventurous!

 

 

[cindy2013]

 

Originally Posted by BethSilver 

I think you are very caring for thinking about others during your wedding and taking consideration for your parents and your MOH.  It shows a lot of character.  I love the idea of an AHR BBQ.  Sounds wonderful.  I would just skip the bridal shower if that is what you feel. 

 

I totally agree...The ATR BBQ would just be so much fun too!

[dallace]

Originally Posted by TheWolferts 

 

Maybe instead of a full on shower, someone could host a small get together at their house and each person could bring a dish and bottle of wine. Then watch sappy, love movies or have them help you with some wedding DIY projects. Or maybe you could do a low key outting like a mani/pedi appointment together or find a group deal on groupon for something fun and adventurous!

 

I like that idea!!

[sbg75]

I think the casual get together is a great idea. I'm making a weekend of it as we have a 18 month old son and it will be my first ever night away from him and therefore a real treat for me. Myself and some of my best girlfriends are going out for dinner and dancing on the friday night, I will then spend the saturday with just my mum and my sister having some proper girlie bonding time and then my aunts are coming over to my mums on the Sunday for a casual get together. I spend a lot of time with my mum but it's normally always with my baby boy as well so I'm really looking forward to it being just the 3 of us for a change. The only part that is going to cost any real money is the Friday night but we aren't going anywhere expensive so hopefully we will keep a lid on the money.

I hope that whatever you decide you have a fantastic wedding and either shower or bbq (or both!)