How many people to invite?

[MandM2013]

Thank you everyone for your responses! The # of 109 was before my fiance cut some not necessary ppl off his list, we are now at 79 people AND I've still got 7 as maybes. I think I'll be removing 6 of those though. So we'll be close to the 70 range you guys all seemed to be at. I already know for sure both my grandmothers can't make it and my aunt and cousin. They can't afford it unfortunately but we are planning to marry prior to our destination wedding at city hall and doing a nice dinner or lunch with them. So I feel much better now that we are under 100 people! That's what I wanted.

 

Now the planning process begins! haha.

[shanloveslexi]

We are sending 75 invitations and thinking 30+ people will attend.

[JayKay]

We sent out about 30 invitations and we had a total of 18 people at our wedding.

[DwBride2Be]

Yikes!! You guys will laugh, We invited 198 people, Yup, 198!! We knew not everyone would come because of time, money or just not want to, and so far 42 are confirmed yes, and about 39 are still maybes, though I am not expecting many more now. We didn't want to exclude anyone so we sent the invites to all our cousins and aunts and uncles and close friends. Majority of who have booked are friends and immediate family.

[MexicoHereICome]

We have invited 178 ppl.....I'm so so so so scared a ton of people will show up. I tried and tried to cut it down and bottom line we have too many Friends and Family LOL!!!!!  Which is why we had picked to have a DW. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we will keep it between 60-75  In my opinion the smaller the better. I'm getting worried about my pocketbook. 

[cherany]

178?!  I'd be scared, too!    It's a good problem to have, too many friends, but whew!

 

We are doing close friends only, so a very small crowd.  Should be about 20 guests, give or take a few.  I used to think I'd want a huge 200+ person wedding, but now that idea just stresses me out!  

[katman]

It sounds like you guys had the perfect number attend the wedding. My FI and I are trying to cut our guest list down (currently at approx. 150) but aren't sure how to do so without offending some of our friends.  Did you send out the invites for the AHR at the same time as the wedding invites? Perhaps that would be a way to keep everyone feeling involved without crowding our actual wedding?

 

Also wondering, with numbers being so up in the air, did anyone invite people after other invitees had declined? For example if you have a set number of people you can accommodate, if one invitee says no, then send ask someone in their place? Maybe tacky, but I'm just not sure how not to offend anyone :s

 

All advice/tips/suggestions welcome!!

 

Thanks,

Kat 

[cinnagirl]

Hey Kat, 

 

If people ask if they are invited just day that you're having a small wedding with very close family. We have a few friends that we didn't invite for one reason or another, and they accept this reasoning quite well. I think it's expected that DW are a smaller crowd so not everyone will get an invite. We are using the same line of reasoning with family members that we are not close with that we are not inviting. 

 

We plan on doing a second round too. There's a couple friends that we aren't extremely close with but who would be fun to have there. People are very understanding when you explain that you had to invite certain people first (like family) even though you know they won't show, before you can invite everyone else. 

 

I'm not sure if this is the right way to do this, but it's how we've been handling it so far and no one has been offended yet. 

[katman]

Thanks for the reply cinnagirl, its nice to get some feedback on these kinds of issues. I know we shouldn't feel obligated to invite anyone seeing as its our special day, its just hard to predict how those issues would be received by potential guests. I like the idea of "second round " invitations. a very classy way to put it lol. How many invites have you guys sent out and how many guests are you aiming for/comfortable with having? I noticed your date is May 2013, do you mind me asking when you sent your invites? Thanks again for the advice! Kat

[cinnagirl]

Happy to help!

 

We sent out our save the dates back at the start of March to 76 people. We'll be sending out invites in the summer sometimes once we get a group quote back that we like. That way people can put a deposit down if they want to come and pay the balance closer to the wedding date. That way we'll have a better idea of how many people will actually go, because we have a lot of people saying they're going to go right now...but when it comes down to it I don't think they'll put down the money. It's safer than us paying the deposit for them. 

 

So we're inviting 76 for the first round and we're hoping to have the number around 30-40. Max is 50, just because the prices at our venue jump once you have more than 50 people, so it's a cost thing for us. We know for sure that 20 of those 76 won't be going either due to financial reasons or just not wanting to travel. Once we find out how many people are no's for sure, then we'll do a second round.