RSVP: Respond By Date?...

[MissBubbles205]

Good Afternoon Everyone,

 

I am planning on sending my Invites and RSVP's out 10-12 months before the wedding (between May-July, 2012).  What date should I put on the please respond by for the RSVPs?.... (We are planning on getting Married May 29th, 2013)

 

I'd like to get an estimate of people coming well in advance of 3 months, so that we can make sure we have enough rooms blocked off at our resort, so we can plan menu's, etc at our reception dinner location since it will be located away from the resort, and so that I can have all of my OOT bags ready and packed up without having to rush out last minute and buy more items.

 

I figured we have different date etiquettes with us having destination weddings, but all I can seem to find are traditional wedding etiquettes.

 

Thanks in advance! )

[KalikLove]

ohh good question and it's our million dollar question, we are asking for a RSVP 3 months in advance. Which for non-DW is very early. But your doing it way earlier than me!  I'm curious to hear what other people have to say...

 

Tradition vs what we are doing

 

STDs

Traditional: 3-6 months

Us: 7 mo

 

Invites

Traditional:  6 weeks in advance 

Us: 5 months

 

RSVPs

Traditional: 3 weeks before date 

Us: 2 months in advance

 

[mzthan6]

not sure exactly when is the right time to send the std's and invites.  My wedding is in November and i'm sending our std's in the beginning of April then sending my invites in May.

[MissBubbles205]

Yea, Traditions are wayy off for us. With everything being soo far away for us (destination wise) seems like the TA, Resort and WC asks "how many people are coming?"   Ummmm... I have no clue! We haven't sent our invites yet, our wedding is 14-15 months aaway. "well can you give us an estimate?"

 

I hate this scenario, because I honestly do not have a clue who will or wont come.. I know parents and possible grandparents, but I dont know who else will make the effort. DW's are much harder than I expected.. :-/

 

Am I crazy for sending the invites out 10-12 months in advance? A few family members have been telling us to get them out ASAP so people can start planning and saving.. Which I thought was a good idea.. And then we could send a Wedding Reminder (probably magnet) to everyone including the non-RSVP responders maybe in January or closer to the date.

[Peach]

Are you sending out save the dates? We are doing those right after booking (about 14 months in advance), then are looking to do invites about 8 months in advance.

Then a brochure with information and such about 6 weeks in advance.

 

I do not know when to ask people to RSVP by, but that is certainly a good question... I think about 3 months is a good plan. When do they need to book by?

[KalikLove]

I know it's hard to estimate.. sit with your fioncee and mom and make up a list of invites, and then a "90% sure they will come" list without even asking anyone... there you will have you number. I read a planning book from Mindy Weiss, she says expect 30% declines for DWs but I'm hoping - and praying- that it will more than 30%
 

Originally Posted by MissBubbles205 

Yea, Traditions are wayy off for us. With everything being soo far away for us (destination wise) seems like the TA, Resort and WC asks "how many people are coming?"   Ummmm... I have no clue! We haven't sent our invites yet, our wedding is 14-15 months aaway. "well can you give us an estimate?"

 

I hate this scenario, because I honestly do not have a clue who will or wont come.. I know parents and possible grandparents, but I dont know who else will make the effort. DW's are much harder than I expected.. :-/

 

Am I crazy for sending the invites out 10-12 months in advance? A few family members have been telling us to get them out ASAP so people can start planning and saving.. Which I thought was a good idea.. And then we could send a Wedding Reminder (probably magnet) to everyone including the non-RSVP responders maybe in January or closer to the date.

 

[MissBubbles205]

I wanted to, but we haven't had our engagement pics done yet.. (I wanted to do picture Save the Date cards or big magnets.)

 

I am creating our Passport Invitations so it will have all the information they need on those.  and then I will do brochures for the resort in their OOT bags.

 

The resort is saying they need our guest count now so they we can book the resort for group rates and block out a group of rooms. (but I don't want to block to many and not enough)...

 

Seems like you have a great idea for STD's and Invites though!  do you pretty much know who will be coming already?

[KalikLove]

Whats the worst that will happen??? You have too many rooms blocked?? Use them for your vendors, plus ask her if those numbers are final or can they be changed.... assuming they can, I'd estimate higher. I don't think it needs to be set in stone, thats nuts!
 

Originally Posted by MissBubbles205 

I wanted to, but we haven't had our engagement pics done yet.. (I wanted to do picture Save the Date cards or big magnets.)

 

I am creating our Passport Invitations so it will have all the information they need on those.  and then I will do brochures for the resort in their OOT bags.

 

The resort is saying they need our guest count now so they we can book the resort for group rates and block out a group of rooms. (but I don't want to block to many and not enough)...

 

Seems like you have a great idea for STD's and Invites though!  do you pretty much know who will be coming already?

 

[Branya2012]

I personally think that sending invitations that far in advance seems a bit excessive. That leaves a very long time between the invitations going out and the RSVP date, and even between the invitations and the wedding, for people that may change their minds and want to come. Having said that, when we sent out our Save the Dates (18 months in advance) we knew where we were going, the date of the wedding and the week that we were asking people to come for the wedding (if they want to come for a week). For people to save money and know the time they have to book off of work, that should be enough in advance for those that are seriously considering coming to the wedding.

 

I think if you want to know who is going more than 3 months in advance of the wedding, make the RSVP date 6 months ahead, but just remember that maybe not everyone will be able to commit at that time. I think that regular ettiquette is out the window, so to speak, with DWs, but try to keep in mind what is practical for people ahead of what we ideally want (to know who the heck is coming so we can prepare!). For us, our payment deadline to book with our group is 3.5ish months ahead of the wedding, so that made a really great RSVP date for us.

 

As for a guest count for the resort, we had to book a minimum to book as a group, so we gathered our close family that is definitely coming and had them pay their deposits last fall (more than a year in advance) and we paid the rest of the deposits to meet the minimum, which is money that will count towards our trip at the end of the day. We don't think there will be a problem getting the minimum number of guests, but it seemed like a lot to ask for everyone to book/deposit over a year before the trip/wedding. We tried to think of it in terms of how far in advance you would usually book a vacation, and around 6 month seems reasonable, IMO!

 

Hopefully you get it sorted out!!

[MissBubbles205]

I agree!.. They want us to block the rooms and pay a deposit for each now.. (but we've been waiting bc the resort put the rooms on sale, and right now they are not for our date) And once those persons pay they will refund the deposits.. But what if they wait until 3 months before the wedding to pay or then decide to not come.. I don't know.. I'm going nuts over the whole not knowing thing.
 

Originally Posted by KalikLove 

Whats the worst that will happen??? You have too many rooms blocked?? Use them for your vendors, plus ask her if those numbers are final or can they be changed.... assuming they can, I'd estimate higher. I don't think it needs to be set in stone, thats nuts!