Please Help!! Need advice on Save the Dates!

guilaine87 · March 15, 2012

Hello Destination Wedding Brides!

I am in desperate need of some help and advice! My fiancÃ© and I want to get married May 2013 in Mexico. We actually had the Ocean Turquesa picked out and the dates in mind. We were about to book it but, when I found out that I would have to have all of my guests put a $200 deposit down (per person) within 90 days of us accepting the contract we put on the brakes! We havenâ€™t sent out any save the dates or invitations since nothing was officially decided yet and we were researching. So only our family and close friends know we are doing a destination wedding. We felt that this is a lot of pressure and short notice for us to send out invites and let everyone know if they want to come they have 90 days to secure their spot and itâ€™s non-refundable! Also the remaining balance is due end of November! I really donâ€™t think that is fair to our guests or it makes sense since we are not going until May 2013. I am working with destinationweddings.com and my coordinator has been so wonderful! The quote she gave me was through Transat so this is obviously the way Transat does things. Just curious how other people have done this and if deposits were needed so early. I was thinking of sending out save the dates now to inform everyone we are getting married in Mexico May 2013 and formal invite and details will follow. Is that risky since we haven't officially booked anything? I thought we would have had to have our resort booked in order to do that? I would then request a new quote in the next few months and send out officially invites about 3 months or so after the save the dates. That way when they receive the actual invite with details they would have 90 days to put the deposits down. I feel that by doing it this way our guests would have already known we were planning on going away. They would have had time to think about if they can make it or not and wouldnâ€™t have the pressure of needing to decide in 3 months and put money down. Can anyone tell me the process they went through or are currently going through? Did you send save the dates out before or after you had your resort officially booked? I feel like right now we are wayyyyy ahead based on when we are planning on going. I am just worried we are taking a chance by putting the booking off for a few months and hoping that the resort and the time we want to go will still be available when we do book. Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

Guilaine

jello · March 15, 2012

That sounds very unreasonable. I just booked for June 2013, although my situation is a little different from yours, since I'm holding my wedding at a beach club and not at a resort. We put down a deposit towards our food and beverage costs to hold the venue for that date, and now we're about to send out our save the dates.

It does sound very risky to send out save the dates without something confirmed, and I wouldn't do that. I would try to negotiate with your resort. Tell them that you don't want to make your guests put down a deposit so soon, and ask them what options you have. Maybe you can put down a small deposit to hold your date, and then the resort can refund that to you as your guests start booking? Or maybe they can agree to give your guests until Dec 2012 to book, or something like that.

principessa · March 16, 2012

We booked with Transat and went through the exact same thing - 90 days to put down your deposit. Guests can still book after the 90 days, it's just that the rooms are not actually being held (at least this is the case for us). Since we only had the 90 days, we made sure everyone know well ahead of time (before we officially booked) where it would likely be and what the cost would likely be, how long they would have to put down the deposit, etc so nothing was a surprise to them. We knew we wouldn't have time to do both save the dates and invites, so we decided to just let everyone know the day we booked that it was "official", wrote all of the details down on our website and directed everyone there. We are doing invites still as a formality, but everyone already knows all of the info. The 90 day thing made it a little more confusing for me because I also didn't want to send out any save the dates until we had officially booked. Problem is, it seems so late after you officially book with only the 90 days.

AllieH · March 16, 2012

This is essentially the same process we went through with our TA. We did an electronic Save the Date/Book Your Room, with a non refundable deposit (ours was only $50, but packages don't include airfare).

While the electronic version wasn't what I wanted/planned, everything worked out fine.

I would go ahead and send out your STD-BYR type notice (whether electronic or mail). 90 days is plenty of time (we had 2 weeks!).

Originally Posted by principessa

We booked with Transat and went through the exact same thing - 90 days to put down your deposit. Guests can still book after the 90 days, it's just that the rooms are not actually being held (at least this is the case for us). Since we only had the 90 days, we made sure everyone know well ahead of time (before we officially booked) where it would likely be and what the cost would likely be, how long they would have to put down the deposit, etc so nothing was a surprise to them. We knew we wouldn't have time to do both save the dates and invites, so we decided to just let everyone know the day we booked that it was "official", wrote all of the details down on our website and directed everyone there. We are doing invites still as a formality, but everyone already knows all of the info. The 90 day thing made it a little more confusing for me because I also didn't want to send out any save the dates until we had officially booked. Problem is, it seems so late after you officially book with only the 90 days.

ChocoTaco7568 · March 16, 2012

If you have not committed to a date, than I would advise putting a hold on sending STDs. I donâ€™t know if your stipulations are the result of your TA, the resort, or both, but this sounds completely unreasonable. I would try to negotiate on the terms of your agreement and see if they are willing to work with you.

I am also getting married in May of 2013 at the Now Jade and my experience with my TA and planning has definitely been different. Our deposit to secure rooms at the agreed group rate is only $100 per room and I have a small guestlist; weâ€™re only blocking 14 rooms. As such we are actually paying the upfront cost for this deposit, and as our guests book the deposit will be transferred over to the cost of our room and anything left over will be credited to us. The timing of our payment plan is also more flexible than yours â€“ initial deposit for our guests to secure a room from our block is equal to 1-night stay (this can be done anytime between now and 120 day from expected arrival), 2^nd payment which is equal to half of the cost of their trip is due 120 days before arrival, and the balance is due 45 days before arrival.