Are some of your friends and family avoiding you since you mentioned a DW?

[monicak]

I didn't get a ton of RSVP's back...super annoying........if they haven't reached out to you, take as they are not coming.  I went through this, trust me - you will be super happy once you are there and afterwards.  Be prepared.......people will be awkward with you afterwards - they won't even acknowledge it because they never RSVP'd and avoided you.  When they mentin the wedding, I just "it was an amazing time with our closest family and friends - we are all hoping to go away together again next year"

[shan0487]

Haha, I like that- I will be telling the people that are not coming the same thing.

 

I am so sorry so many of you ladies are going through this. 

 

We have been quite fortunate that we have 43 people booked so far.  Those people have placed their $50 deposit for the hotel.  Our flight prices are still not out and I'm scared that once the prices come out that they are going to be high with gas prices right now and people will end up not coming.  The majority of our guests are our friends, which makes us quite fortunate because we only have about 10 members of our families coming.  Apparently we have closer friends than family.  We did have one couple tell us for the past 2 years before we got engaged that they were coming to Mexico no matter what and our male friend even offered to be our officiant!! Then when it came time to put down the deposit, they ignored us and waited 2 weeks after the deposit was due to tell us that they did not have time to come with our male friend starting a new job.  (We are getting married the day after Thanksgiving- you will have time off! Ugh, annoying!)  But I keep telling myself the same thing, it will not matter who isn't there once we get there!

Originally Posted by monicak 

I didn't get a ton of RSVP's back...super annoying........if they haven't reached out to you, take as they are not coming.  I went through this, trust me - you will be super happy once you are there and afterwards.  Be prepared.......people will be awkward with you afterwards - they won't even acknowledge it because they never RSVP'd and avoided you.  When they mentin the wedding, I just "it was an amazing time with our closest family and friends - we are all hoping to go away together again next year"

 

[cogrl]

So sorry about your experience...and so glad I found this post!  I really thought I was the only one whose "friends" suddenly weren't my friends at all with the whole wedding thing.  My fiancé and I are getting married - by ourselves - on a cruise through Italy, and then having a reception after the wedding.  We didn't invite anyone on the cruise because we knew that it would be too hard for our family to afford it, and we didn't want anyone to feel badly about not being able to come, or spend money that they really couldn't.  The reception is going to be low key, but a pretty typical reception despite not having a "wedding" that people attend.  

I sent an email to my "best" friends who WOULD have been in my wedding if I had had one here, to see if they would be able/interested in doing a bachelorette party in Las Vegas (most of them do not live where I do, so it would actually be cheaper to just go to Vegas, than to come here.  Most of them said - yes - they would do whatever I wanted - yay!  My sister made the plans, sent out invites, and most of them never even responded to her.  She had to send multiple invites and I finally had to text them to confirm that they obviously weren't going.  All of them are people whose wedding I attended - flew to most of them, did bridal showers, etc. for them.  My "best" friends literally said - I am just really busy in June, and I just can't swing it financially. I am not asking them to go to the wedding, to buy a dress, nothing!!!  Not one of them has called to see how plans are going, to  ask about anything, etc.  I literally cried for a week - a little ashamed to say it, but my feelings are really hurt.  I really feel like none of the people that I considered my closest friends even care at all.  Just sucks - totally makes something that is supposed to be a happy time for my fiancé and I very bittersweet.  :-(

Anyhow - this thread has made me feel a lot better, and it was nice to vent a little.  

Best wishes for your wedding!

 

[Oct 2012 Bride]

That's crazy. Vegas is super cheap. Just focus on the fact that you have a great man by your side. And if is he anything like my FI he is also one the greatest friends you could ever have. Don't let it ruin your day. Just know in the future those are less people that you have to worry about. Less gifts and events to worry about paying for.

[Andrea28]

I actually have more friends then family coming. On 54 people there is about only 15 that are family. I think some of my family members are not too happy with the fact that it's a destination wedding. On there RSVP they only wrote no not attending, no congrats, nothing and I know it's not about the money, they take cruises every year !! My fiancé also has a long time friend who's been ingoring him since the invite. He never RSVP and we even sent him e-mails and stuff without any response !! We went to his wedding last year, had to drive 7 hours to get there and pay hotel, food ext. for a week-end. He could at least say congrats !! I mean I get it if you can't come, but at least have the decency on telling us instead of ignoring us !! come on !! Well this '' friend '' is no more welcome in my home. He could at least be repectful of us and our choices. I also had a couple of comments from people like.... ''well I can buy myself a new fireplace for the price of attending your wedding '' yes, true, but keep your comments to yourself. I respect there choices on not coming, well respect my choice on my wedding !!

[ntlsnow]

SO TRUE....my FI is one my greatest friends and has been a SAVIOR to me with dealing with some "friends" and family that are either rude or decided not to go. This whole comment is great advice to remember... :-)
 

Originally Posted by Oct 2012 Bride 

That's crazy. Vegas is super cheap. Just focus on the fact that you have a great man by your side. And if is he anything like my FI he is also one the greatest friends you could ever have. Don't let it ruin your day. Just know in the future those are less people that you have to worry about. Less gifts and events to worry about paying for.

 

[balibride]

I can totally understand how annoyed everyone gets when ppl don't respond! I mean... Fair enough if you cant come, but at least be honest!

[lkterry]

I had some friends constantly talking about how they are coming, can't wait to go, looking to book, etc....and then came up w/ weird excuses like Jamaica isn't safe.  1 week later...they are booking their own vacation to Jamaica!  WTH.  If you don't want to come, I don't care; just don't go rambling on and on about how you are and then quickly change your mind!  On the other hand, we also have friends who said they would come when we mentioned it, but haven't mentioned the STD received or wedding at all.  Oh well!

[lashesforever]

Its really interesting to hear that a lot of you are going through the same things. I had my best friend over, who has also said 'yes' to being my MOH, and not once had she asked about the wedding planning all night.  I was so excited to show her some of my ideas, and when I ask her to go do wedding stuff, she just says " tell me when and I'll be there".  I have done a few things and she always has something come up, that she cant make it.  It doesn't give me a lot of confidence for future planning.  

[cinnagirl]

I am SO GLAD that I found this post as I have been struggling with this so much. I have family members who completely avoid even just talking to me at family functions, as they are afraid I'll bring up the wedding. My fiance and I went to a barbeque tonight and my fiance said to our group of friends, "are you guys getting excited for the wedding? It's going to be a week long party!" and everyone there was dead silent. And these people are supposed to be our friends. 

 

Another problem for us is that now that we got our quotes everyone is saying it's too much money. We decided on a DW back in January and we've been telling people ever since then that we were aiming for it to be $1500 per person. Everyone said that was fine, sounded like a good price. My fiance and I triple checked with all of our bridal party members to make sure they were okay with the price and everyone said it sounded great. We got our quotes back on Thursday and it's $1530 per person, so pretty much spot on. Suddenly one of my bridesmaids thinks it's a lot of money and is "going to try her best to be there." Excuse me? You were fine with this up until last week! She told me how she and her husband were having a rough time financially but they were putting every penny towards our wedding. 

 

I went to the beach with her today and she gave me a sob story about how her visa was declined at a lunch with her co-workers and her boss had to pay for her lunch, and how her phone bill was $600 for last month because she didn't have unlimited everything like she thought. So I see that money's tight. But then she buys a bunch of stuff from the vendors at the beach and talking about how she needs to get her nails done again. It hurts, but you really see where people's priorities lie. 

 

My fiance said to me today when I was upset about it that, "We've been upfront about the price and given them plenty of time to save. People will find a way to be at our wedding if we are important to them, and our celebration is important to them." I have to try and keep this in mind. It just hurts to find out who your friends really are. (end vent, thanks ladies)