Some dress advice please...

[JaimeF]

Hi,

I could really use some help, advice, opinions, suggestions, etc. I am getting married in June and have looked at a few dresses. I mainly went to J. Crew because I love the simplicity of their dresses. When I originally went back in September, I went specifically to look at gowns that were more of a sheath or column style, but ended up really liking a gown the was more of an A-line or even ball gown silhouette (I'm not sure what it is considered). Of course the gown I liked was more expensive than I wanted to spend but I was thinking that maybe I'd do it since I seemed to love it. Anyway I just went back last week to look again and I tried the gown on again. This time, I'm just so unsure about it all. I always hear and read stories about people falling in love with a  dress and knowing it's "the one." I actually have the chance to buy this dress at like half price and I'm still on the fence. This isn't so surprising because I do tend to be very indecisive all the time. But I don't know what's going on. I did love the dress at one point but I don't know if I'm having trouble deciding because my wedding plans have been a fiasco thus far, so as a whole I've been feeling down about wedding stuff.. I also can't picture what would look good or be beach wedding appropriate. I just don't know what to do and I feel like I don't have many options because my wedding is in about 4 months. I would even post pictures of a few dresses I tried on to get opinions but I don't know how. 

 

Thanks for any help. t is greatly appreciated!

Jaime

[LCBride2007]

hmmm, i can't help much because i was the same way.  there was no "this is the one!" moment for me.  and while i loved my dress i spent waaaayyyyyy more than i wanted and in the end i would have been just as happy with a much cheaper dress.  but i'm not a fashion girl so that stuff isnt' too important to me.  but to me it doesn't sound like you should get the dress.  are there others you like as well?

[AllieH]

hey Jaime, 

 

have you tried on dresses anywhere else? if not, I'd suggest making a run to David's to try some more on. See if any of those shapes or styles give you a feeling that is different from the one you've tried and liked (but not loved). It could be that the other stuff with wedding planning not going so well is getting you down, and it's tough to envision your day or be excited about it. 

 

here's a tip - ANY dress will look good on the beach. seriously. if you like it, wear it. it's your day. so don't stress that it needs to be a "typical" destination wedding dress. there's no such thing. if you like a blinged out ball gown, then it's PERFECT for your day. if you like a chiffon flowing sheath, AWESOME. 

 

as far as knowing it's "the one", from my own experience I had that moment. not the teary boo hoo factor - that was all my mother. but the "I love this dress" moment. There were other dresses I liked, but the girls in the shop were pretty firm with "like isn't good enough". And they were right.

 

So I say keep shopping until you find what you love. the dress that when you put it on, you can totally see yourself walking down the aisle. forget preconceived ideas or other's opinions (I know TONS of brides who ended up with a dress that wasn't anything like what they originally thought they wanted - me included). 

 

I hope that helps, and wish you all the best! 

 

 

 

[JaimeF]

Thanks for the reply. There were others I kind of liked too but not as much as this one. There's one that I like almost as much which is cheaper but it's really plain, but nice too. I think I'm also having a hard time with this because I'm finding it hard to know what the dress is really going to be like in my size. I've been trying on dresses that are many sizes too big and they just seem like a lot of dress and cumbersome. And like I mentioned before, I don't know what kind of dress is appropriate for a beach wedding. I don't want to look back at my pictures and look like a freak in a crazy dress on the beach. I figured out how to put a picture in. This is the dress I'm undecided on:

 

 

I think I may keep looking, Maybe I'll find something I love or maybe trying on other dresses will make me like this one more.

 

Jaime

[JaimeF]

Thanks. That definitely helps. I've only tried on maybe 8 dresses. I may have mentioned it in my original post (I don't remember) but when i tried this dress on I was surprised because it totally wasn't what I was looking for. I went for more of a chiffon or silky sheath. My sister and I happened to see the other one on a mannequin and she was like, "just try it on for fun" and I was all whatever about it, but ended up really liking it, perhaps even loving it at the time. The sheaths were nice too but they didn't make me feel like I was getting married. When I tried the other one on, I felt more like a bride even though I wasn't going for too much of a wedding-y look, if that makes any sense.

 

I think you are also right that the wedding planning stuff is getting me down and it really is making it hard for me to be excited about any of this, which makes me feel bad. Part of me is super excited about the wedding, but it's hard because our families are not excited about our plans at all and pretty much told us that it's just an inconvenience. Oh well. There was a time when I was really excited about the dress, so I almost wish I didn't try it on again under all this extra stress stuff going on. I tried posting a picture in the post above, if you want to see the dress I'm talking about. 

 

I am going to take your advice and go to David's to try on some more dresses. I think it will give me a better sense of what I actually do and do not like. 

 

Thanks again for your help. i really appreciate it!

 

Jaime

Originally Posted by AllieH 

hey Jaime, 

 

have you tried on dresses anywhere else? if not, I'd suggest making a run to David's to try some more on. See if any of those shapes or styles give you a feeling that is different from the one you've tried and liked (but not loved). It could be that the other stuff with wedding planning not going so well is getting you down, and it's tough to envision your day or be excited about it. 

 

here's a tip - ANY dress will look good on the beach. seriously. if you like it, wear it. it's your day. so don't stress that it needs to be a "typical" destination wedding dress. there's no such thing. if you like a blinged out ball gown, then it's PERFECT for your day. if you like a chiffon flowing sheath, AWESOME. 

 

as far as knowing it's "the one", from my own experience I had that moment. not the teary boo hoo factor - that was all my mother. but the "I love this dress" moment. There were other dresses I liked, but the girls in the shop were pretty firm with "like isn't good enough". And they were right.

 

So I say keep shopping until you find what you love. the dress that when you put it on, you can totally see yourself walking down the aisle. forget preconceived ideas or other's opinions (I know TONS of brides who ended up with a dress that wasn't anything like what they originally thought they wanted - me included). 

 

I hope that helps, and wish you all the best! 

 

 

 

 

[LCBride2007]

don't get caught up in the "beach wedding" thing, this is your wedding, end of story.  i've seen women get married in a sundress to an all out wedding gown w/princess flair and detail.  honestly, this is more about what YOU want and feel comfortable in.  don't think about what you SHOULD wear but what YOU feel good in.

[cdc150]

I agree.  Don't take the beach into account.  I was down to 2 dresses one beachy and one more traditions and I asked my mom "if I wasn't getting married on a beach which would you pick?"  I now have a full on traditional wedding dress... NOTHING about it says beach, but I love it, I feel beautiful in it and I've come to terms that I'm going to sweat.  A lot.  Go with a dress you love,
 

Originally Posted by AnnR 

don't get caught up in the "beach wedding" thing, this is your wedding, end of story.  i've seen women get married in a sundress to an all out wedding gown w/princess flair and detail.  honestly, this is more about what YOU want and feel comfortable in.  don't think about what you SHOULD wear but what YOU feel good in.

 

[Julietisurs]

Jamie - If price didn't matter would you have still picked this dress?

 

I had an issue with paying too much for a dress that I was only going to wear once.

Here see my thread from early on...

http://www.bestdestinationwedding.com/t/74770/help-me-pick-my-beach-wedding-dress/50

 

On a side note, I also agree with the ladies here. What is appropriate for a beach wedding is the dress you love and how beautiful you feel in it.

If you feel beautiful in a ballgown on the beach...have at it!

 

 

 

[JPro]

HI Jaime - I recently went dress shopping and just bought my gown. I went to 3 places (including David's) and had dresses that I liked. I really didn't believe in the whole "You'll know when you find your dress" beforehand. I also went with an open mind. I had pictures of dresses that I loved, but kept in mind that the dresses that I love might not love my shape. It wasn't until the last place I went to where I had that feeling that "this in MY dress". I truly do think you know. I agree with the others that there is no "right" dress for a beach wedding. You need to find something that you love and makes you feel fabulous. Although the dress you found in beautiful, if you are on the fence, keep looking. You deserve to have the dress that makes you feel amazing. It is out there, just keep looking

Jamie

[cnd29]

That looks very similar to the dress I got at David's (for 1/3 of the price of the J Crew one in your pic)!  If you like the style but aren't totally sold on it or the price is not what you want, then go to other stores and keep trying on.  Like you, I was looking for something flowy and chiffon, but I saw a pic of this one and decided to try it on.  I knew I really liked it that day, but it wasn't until I got home that night and realized I couldn't stop thinking about this one. I think it is true, when you know, you know.  David's should be able to accomodate your timeframe as well, if there's one near you... 

 

Originally Posted by JaimeF 

Thanks for the reply. There were others I kind of liked too but not as much as this one. There's one that I like almost as much which is cheaper but it's really plain, but nice too. I think I'm also having a hard time with this because I'm finding it hard to know what the dress is really going to be like in my size. I've been trying on dresses that are many sizes too big and they just seem like a lot of dress and cumbersome. And like I mentioned before, I don't know what kind of dress is appropriate for a beach wedding. I don't want to look back at my pictures and look like a freak in a crazy dress on the beach. I figured out how to put a picture in. This is the dress I'm undecided on:

 

 

I think I may keep looking, Maybe I'll find something I love or maybe trying on other dresses will make me like this one more.

 

Jaime