Wedding party expenses- what are brides & grooms paying for?

[Josephine Katie]

We are getting married in MX at an all-inclusive resort in September 2012. Our wedding party has 5 BM & 5 GM. It is around $400 per person for 3 nights and flights are about $500 pp. Since I am new to the whole wedding thing, as the first of my friends to get married, I tried to educate myself on wedding etiquette. Lots of the the blogs say that we, the bride & groom, are responsible for either the flights or accomodations for our wedding party. I did not know this until now. ( yes, I should have educated myself sooner!) When I originally asked my friends to be part of my wedding party, I did explain that I was having a destination wedding which will probably be around 800-1000 pp. They all agreed and I haven't heard any complaints about the cost. ( But they could be complaining to each other) All of my bridesmaids have booked their rooms and some their flights too. Only 2 groomsmen booked theirs. Until now, my wedding party was paying their own way. I am trying to figure out if I should change that..(and really wishing I did not have a wedding party since I have not found it helpful at all!) I am curious to hear what is everyone doing about this portion of destination wedding etiquette? If you are paying for some of their travel, how did you do it? Booked for them? Gave them a cash credit? Any advice would be wonderful... Thank you!

[Samantha88k]

We didn't pay for any of the flights or accommodations for our bridal party but we did pay for their wedding day clothing. I've kind of been thinking that even if we had a wedding at home they still would've been paying for a hotel room, food, travel costs, etc. but I understand it is still a tad more expensive to travel (our resort/flights are about the same cost as yours) so that is why we decided to purchase the clothing.

[ssapper]

we decided to pay for our bridal parties accommodation for three nights. While I don't think this is necessary we wanted to help our friends out... weddings are expensive even without including travel costs. It was our way of helping them out and thanking them for taking the time and spending they money to stand besides us.

[melissa1017]

To book a block of 10 rooms, we have to put down a deposit of $100 per room.  I think we are just paying that for everyone, and then only the clothing for the bridal party.  We are paying for his parents to go, as they couldn't afford to go otherwise

[deniden]

We are only doing 1 person for each of us, but we did not pay for their hotel or airfare. I did pay my MOH's deposit, but that was because she was having a rough time and we needed to book her. We are paying for their wedding day clothing and buying them nice gifts.

[Josephine Katie]

Thanks for the responses. Really enjoy hearing everyone's feedback.

 

Since it has not been brought up to me and they assume they are paying for their travel, I am going to leave it the way it is for now. I can always credit them later if I feel the need.

 

I did compromise on my bridesmaids dresses by doing something more casual that cost only $60. I could not bare to have them spend $300 on Bridesmaid dresses, never to be worn again. I might get them some jewelry to go with. I will also get them some nice gifts and pay for a whole day at the spa which will be about $150 a person and my FI is going to pay for some time type of excursion for the guys.

 

[sgreen99]

We are not paying for flights or accom. 

One of my bridesmaids is actually getting married in April in Vegas (a destination for us since we are in Alberta).  We've all paid our own way, own dresses, own shoes.
So, I'm kind of taking her lead on that stuff. Originally I had thought I might buy my girls dresses, but she didn't buy ours I don't want to be insulting by buying hers (my parties) dresses.  Just some really awesome BM gifts.

FI hasn't decided if he wants to buy his boy's outfit or not. 

The point of us having a DW is trying to keep cost down, if we started paying for random people's travels it would just be crazy in a hurry.  I think everyone understands what the concept behind the DW is, and that agreeing to be in the party means they are paying their way there!

[Sllefebvr]

We are not paying for anyone either!! My brother got married in Walt Disney World in 2009 and did not pay for anybody to go down rooms or airfare and I did buy my own dress, shoes and paid to have my hair/makeup done.

 

I have changed it up a little bit from what they did. We are paying for the guys outfits thus being that I want them all to match and they are NOT wearing tuxes. I am getting the girls dresses custom made so I am buying the fabric and they are paying for the actual dress to be made. I am paying for their hair/makeup to be done in the room with me the day of the wedding. I am taking the girls on a tour of the rain forest, and we are going to be getting them some pretty awesome gifts!!

[JessiTaylor]

 

We arent paying for anyone - theyre responsible for flights and hotel. if they can;t make it ill understand, but i really cant afford to pay for everyone. we have a 100 guests, but even if i only paid for bridesmaids/groomsmen it would still add up to a lot!

 

i will cover the bridesmaids dresses, and tux rental for the groomsmen. possibly makeup on the day? shoes they can wear whatever, and accessories too. i still havent worked out how i can choose bridesmaids dresses for 2 bridesmaids living in england, and one living in north mexico where i live!

[JayKay]

We didn't pay for any travel expenses.  We went on an all inclusive one week to Jamaica and our bridal party payed for their travel themselves.  Rather, we payed for all their actual wedding day expenses, such as clothing/dress, makeup, hair ect.  We asked them and they felt that was fair.