Does anyone else feel like they are losing control?

[lauren478]

Hi Im Lauren. Im getting married in January and we just put the deposit down and signed the contract. By we I mean, my dad, stepmom and I. My dad and stepmom have generously agreed to pay for most of my wedding. This is great, and I definitely appreciate it. However, my stepmom is very controlling. I have already noticed that she has been talking to my wedding planner more than she talks to me. Each time that I have called the wedding planner, she has told me "Oh I just spoke to your stepmom".  It's frustrating.  Plus she has already tried to change our plan for the menu, which had nothing to do with price. She has been pressuring me to do certain things her way, and it is hard to tell her no when she/Dad are paying for my wedding. We have very different ideas of what is classy and what is tacky, and by here having the control and talking to my wedding planner, I am so afraid that I will lose my vision. I don't want to be selfish, but at the same time I don't want someone else's wedding.  Anyone else feel this way, at all?? 

[LCBride2007]

yuck!  i never had that problem, but man do i feel for you.  just remember that its your wedding and just because she's paying for it doesn't mean she gets control over it.  can you talk to your dad about it at all?

 

also, talk to your WC and either have her refuse all calls from the step mom or at least tell her to run any change by you before going through with it.  this is your wedding, you don't want to look back on it and regret not doing things differently!

[lauren478]

i think talking to the WC would help. At least I would then be on the same page. Thanks for the advice!

[boscobel]

Eeek!  Sounds like a difficult situation indeed.  Are you close with stepmom?  I'm wondering if you can speak to her without damaging your relationship to let her know your vision and that any ideas she has should come through you, not go directly to the WC.

 

On the flip side, I would def talk to the WC and let them know that you have the final say on everything so if step mom makes a call to request something be changed, the WC should make a note and then call you to confirm.

 

Good luck!

[LCBride2007]

i wonder if your WC would feel comfortable making a comment along the lines of "you seem to be taking over the planning for the bride!"  maybe she'll get the hint then?

[QuintanaV]

Wow, thats an issue. I would speak to my dad first and also speak to the WC. It would be hard to just go forward and speak to your step mom about it. Hope things turn around. You definitely want this to be the way you've envisioned it