A little sad today....

Jenn · September 17, 2007

Brittney - I am so sorry that you're going through this! My father is no longer a part of my life, which was a source of pain for a long time. It took a lot of soul searching, but I have finally come to a point where I've realized that our lack of a relationship is really his loss. I'm very lucky to a have a wonderful mother, who will be walking me down the aisle

Sometimes the best families are the ones we choose for ourselves. This is what my aunt wrote on our website, and I think its incredibly true! I hope that things start to look up for you, but also try to focus on your wonderful new family!

NYJen · September 17, 2007

Brittney, I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with NurseSarah that you can still be a wonderful person with only having one active parent. I also agree that these types of things do effect you and do make you the person you are. Maybe you're stronger because of this.

I too didn't have a good relationship with my father. He was in my life (physically) when I was growing up - but he wasn't a very good parent. Lots of physical and mental abuse. My mom divorced him in 1994 when I was in college. After that, he only called and wanted to be a part of my (and my sisters) lives during the holidays. Other than that, we wouldn't hear from him. Back in 2000, my sisters and I ended up having a HUGE fight with him about his lack of interest in our lives. After that, we never heard from him again - neither did anyone else on his side of the family. Even after 9/11, he never called to see if we were ok (we live in NYC and he was in MD.) My BIL is a NYC Fireman and he never even called to see if he was still alive. Anyway, we found out recently that my father died last summer. Part of me didn't care, part of me was upset that it all ended the way it did. It was a very strange feeling.

Bottom line, you can't change the way people are - you just have to be ok with your choices in life. You made the effort so you can sleep at night knowing you did the right thing.

BrittneyD · September 18, 2007

Thanks again girls! I had come to terms about my Dad years ago, and had finally found some peace. When he came back into my life a couple years ago, I did not want any explanations...I just wanted to start fresh. Things were good for about a year. I guess I just thought it would last this time, so it hurts that it didn't. I'm sure deep down he knows that he as missed so much. At least I can sleep at night knowing that I did everything that I could.