Is it too much?

[Peach]

I guess, even if it is 'a lot', it's not like I will get married everyday.

Wow, mrsrepp, you are certainly going to be busy! Good luck with all of that! Just think of how celebratory that will be!

[Dominican Ally]

I think that if it is what suits you and your family, then it will be perfect

[nicolej518]

We've actually decided to get married beforehand because after booking our date the resort told me the judge wouldn't be available to do a legal ceremony. He would only be available on 2 days we were there;  the first is not an option because of residency requirements, and the second would be 2 days after the wedding. I was really upset at this because I din't want just a bunch of random days, but like someone mentioned above, it may be easier and cheaper. We are probably just going to legally get married on our anniversary the month before and not tell anyone. The ceremony at the DW will be the one that matters, especially since his uncle is flying out to perform the ceremony. 

 

I would say if you are doing the church wedding, try doing it where it means something to you and your FI. It won't seem like such a big ordeal if you're not doing it only to please your family. 

[nicolej518]

We've actually decided to get married beforehand because after booking our date the resort told me the judge wouldn't be available to do a legal ceremony. He would only be available on 2 days we were there;  the first is not an option because of residency requirements, and the second would be 2 days after the wedding. I was really upset at this because I din't want just a bunch of random days, but like someone mentioned above, it may be easier and cheaper. We are probably just going to legally get married on our anniversary the month before and not tell anyone. The ceremony at the DW will be the one that matters, especially since his uncle is flying out to perform the ceremony. 

 

I would say if you are doing the church wedding, try doing it where it means something to you and your FI. It won't seem like such a big ordeal if you're not doing it only to please your family. 

[Peach]

Yeah, we were talking about that. Unfortunately, all the places we would WANT to do the legal, are not options; my family really only wants it in a church.

Well, some of my family does. Some think it is stupid to do a legal ahead of time.

 

We have decided to talk about it ourselves. We will decide what we want to do. We will either tell them or not. If we invite them to the legal, they can either come or not. Whatever.

 

(Can you tell the kind of drama I have been dealing with?)

[monicak]

We got legally married before taking off for our destination wedding to avoid the paperwork headahe a week before our wedding.  His parents, my parents attend the quick get together at City Hall.  We wore regular clothes and had a quick lunch afterwards at a restaurant.  We didn't tell anyone about the legal ceremony.  We had our beautiful ceremony and reception in Punta Cana and never entertained the idea of an AHR.  Do want you two truly want.  If you aren't up for the church thing - don't do it.  The grandparents will get over it.

[JaimeF]

Hi,

I am new to this board and I see this was posted a long time ago, but I am having the same exact problem! My fiancé and I wanted to do a very small destination wedding - just parents and siblings, and have a celebration when we get back for extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins). My parents are flipping out that my grandparents won't get to see the actual ceremony. So I totally hear you on the family drama. And I, too, am afraid that having all the different ceremonies is too much. 

 

Jaime

[Peach]

Don't worry, this is still going on in my life.

We keep going back and forth on what to do... good luck with your decision...
 

Originally Posted by JaimeF 

Hi,

I am new to this board and I see this was posted a long time ago, but I am having the same exact problem! My fiancé and I wanted to do a very small destination wedding - just parents and siblings, and have a celebration when we get back for extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins). My parents are flipping out that my grandparents won't get to see the actual ceremony. So I totally hear you on the family drama. And I, too, am afraid that having all the different ceremonies is too much. 

 

Jaime

 

[JaimeF]

Hi,

Well, we have decided (for now anyway- you never know what will happen tomorrow) that we are just going to do the DW and whoever comes, comes. His mom is a little upset because his brother's wife is pregnant and probably won't be able to go. My parents are upset because grandparents won't be there. But really, how many people can we make happy... My fiancé and I feel like our parents think we are being very selfish but really we are very accommodating people and just this once we want to do something for ourselves that will make us happy. Isn't it technically "our" day? I actually just spoke to the travel agent on the phone and we are going to try to book this tomorrow when she is back in the office. We are looking at Sandals Royal Bahamian this coming June. We are still planning to do the AHR maybe in the fall for extended family. If people are really extremely hurt by this, then maybe we'll do a surprise little ceremony at the party. I don't know yet.

 

I really hope you and your fiancé are able to come up with something that makes the two of you truly happy. I think that's most important. Good luck!

 

Jaime

 

 

[ntlsnow]

You do what you want Peach! I know that is easier said than done...trust me. I am legally getting married here with only our two BFFs. My maid of Honor just announced last week she is pregnant, meaning she probably wont be leaving a 2 month old baby for PC...it's killing me but I would never ask her to do that. So she will be at my legal and then we will do a lunch after. Nothing fancy at all as my DW will be my true wedding and wedding anniversary date. As for the AHR - we will be doing one as well after we return, probably in May of next year. I know it does sound like a lot, but I do not think it takes away from doing a DW at all! I think of it as a minor technicality. :-) My AHR will not be anything too fancy or expensive either. Nothing will take away that I am getting married to my love on a beach in PC!

 

Originally Posted by Peach 

Yeah, we were talking about that. Unfortunately, all the places we would WANT to do the legal, are not options; my family really only wants it in a church.

Well, some of my family does. Some think it is stupid to do a legal ahead of time.

 

We have decided to talk about it ourselves. We will decide what we want to do. We will either tell them or not. If we invite them to the legal, they can either come or not. Whatever.

 

(Can you tell the kind of drama I have been dealing with?)