Adult Flower Girl?

[Gin Bootles]

Hello ladies, I have read countless stories of people posting about their cute, adorable little flower girls! everyone has great outfits for them and they were all little kids (as i feel it should be). but my question is... that I was actually asked to be a flower girl for my future sister in-law. I was wondering people's thoughts on this. Is this something that I should say no? Do you think it is tackey? advise please!

[cherany]

I guess it depends on the reason.  One of my BMs is 4'11" and constantly mistaken for a child.  People are always asking her to be the flower girl at their wedding (sometimes joking, sometimes not), and it seems rather degrading and not complimentary at all.  However, if that's not the reason, it could be any number of things, most of them understandable and not at all negative.

 

Do they want a flower girl and can't think of a young girl they'd like to ask?

 

Are they having an adults-only wedding, but still really want a flower girl?

 

Is it a way to include you, without you being a groomswoman? (Not sure if this is your future SIL through your FI, or through your brother.)

 

If I were asked, I'd base my decision the same as I would being asked to be a BM.  Most likely, there's nothing tacky meant by them asking, so I wouldn't interpret it that way. 

[Gin Bootles]

lol yeah that is true, i know that this is my FI's sister, but yeah i am probably going to do it.. she asked me kinda last minute.. but i knew something was up when she insisted i buy a dress to match the bridesmaids. lol the funny thing is that my FI was married before... and they decided not to have my FI sister in their wedding. so as soon as we told her we were getting married.. she bursted out and said "i will be extremely hurt if you do not have me in your wedding." of course i have no idea what to say.. we haven't even thought about that.. but something tells me she wants me in the wedding so i will return the favor.. which i probably would have had her in my wedding anyways.. but kinda rude to say that.. i mean i get why she would say it.. because she was hurt.. but come on.. lol

[cherany]

Wow, that brings a different perspective.  Make sure you want her in your wedding before you say yes, if you really feel that's her reasoning.  It would add a lot of fuel to the fire if you did it and then did not ask her to be in yours, since she's obviously not over the exclusion from the first wedding.  It's too bad she's playing a passive-aggressive game; that really dilutes the honor of being asked.