Difficult Family - still 16months to go!

[MJKH]

Ughhh...I don't get it!  We KNEW that the majority of our relatives and friends would not be able to make our DW, but it was really important to us that we acknowledged their importance in our lives with an invitation to do so.  I don't know if this will help, but with our invitation we included a small card (what would have been the reply card) with the following details:

 

 

The Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya is a beautiful all-inclusive resort located on the Caribbean coastline of Mexico. Our travel arrangements with XX (tour operator) are being handled through XX (travel agency) in XX (city). Please contact Travel Consultant XX at XX (phone number) or XX (e-mail address) for further information. For guests making other arrangements, please RSVP your plan on or before XX. We may be reached by phone at XX or contacted by e-mail at XX.

 

Our sincerest thanks for your thoughts, your prayers and your presence in our lives. We know that not all of our loved ones will be able to attend our special day, but we look forward to celebrating with you at a reception in XX on Sunday, XX, 2012. Please save the date!

 

 

[stluciabound]

Anytime Peach, and nothing you have said is in any way "whining". Weddings, especially DW's seem to bring out so many issues, which are unique to every couple and family. At least we have one another to share in the frustrations. It seems like you are maybe ok with your parent's request? If so, and you are having an AHR that you are happy with, then good for you!! Focusing on the positive will get us all through this!!!

 

Just a side note though... I have decided to go with some nice passport invites. I am sending them even to people that I know can't come, but I know ideally would want to be there (extended family and such). I am doing this so that they have a sort of "souvenier" even if they can't make it. Maybe, if this is important to you, you could reword the invite to be more of an announcement so that your parents wouldn't feel like it was disrespecting your grandparents? And then if people really wanted to go they could maybe contact you personally? I dunno... just a thought so you might be able to get the best of both worlds Best of luck to you!!!

 

Originally Posted by Peach 

Well I sat down with my parents last night and told them the same thing... that they should all get an invite regardless, and they were adamantly against it. They did agree to mention and 'feel out' everyone first though, in case they are wrong. I do have a pretty traditional family, so I can see the whole solidarity and head-of-the-family idea, and my parents are reasoning that they will all be there at the AHR, so I guess I will just keep on doing what I am doing. Family stuff is all so different, isn;t it?

 

Thank you all so much for listening to me whine and vent about it. That helps so much!

 

[stluciabound]

I really like your sort of "disclaimer". I have been stressing over how to politely say, "this is gonna be great, we realize you might not be able to go, and no, that doesn't cahnge our mind" lol. I think you nailed it. How has your response been?
 

Originally Posted by MJKH 

Ughhh...I don't get it!  We KNEW that the majority of our relatives and friends would not be able to make our DW, but it was really important to us that we acknowledged their importance in our lives with an invitation to do so.  I don't know if this will help, but with our invitation we included a small card (what would have been the reply card) with the following details:

 

 

The Grand Sirenis Riviera Maya is a beautiful all-inclusive resort located on the Caribbean coastline of Mexico. Our travel arrangements with XX (tour operator) are being handled through XX (travel agency) in XX (city). Please contact Travel Consultant XX at XX (phone number) or XX (e-mail address) for further information. For guests making other arrangements, please RSVP your plan on or before XX. We may be reached by phone at XX or contacted by e-mail at XX.

 

Our sincerest thanks for your thoughts, your prayers and your presence in our lives. We know that not all of our loved ones will be able to attend our special day, but we look forward to celebrating with you at a reception in XX on Sunday, XX, 2012. Please save the date!

 

 

 

[MJKH]

That is the best thing we could have ever done.  I think/hope that people opened up the envelope and felt no pressure, no worries...and thought "good for them for going off and having the kind of wedding they really want to have"!!!  We sent out 80 invites and will likely have around 35 of our friends and family there.
 

Originally Posted by stluciabound 

I really like your sort of "disclaimer". I have been stressing over how to politely say, "this is gonna be great, we realize you might not be able to go, and no, that doesn't cahnge our mind" lol. I think you nailed it. How has your response been?
 

 

 

[MJKH]

Plus we killed two birds with one stone by announcing the date for the reception back at home!  I think by doing that, people thought, "well, I can't go to Mexico, but I will certainly make the AHR a priority!".

[stluciabound]

Good for you!!!! I am glad you have such supportive people around you and I am sure your wording was a big part of that. I know your day will be amazing!!
 

Originally Posted by MJKH 

That is the best thing we could have ever done.  I think/hope that people opened up the envelope and felt no pressure, no worries...and thought "good for them for going off and having the kind of wedding they really want to have"!!!  We sent out 80 invites and will likely have around 35 of our friends and family there.
 

 

 

[Sunshine2680]

Very good way to word it!
Mine are similar and will read:
 

We have always dreamed of getting married on the beach under the sun, with our feet in the soft white sand, and a background of turquoise waters, surrounded by our family and friends. We truly hope you are able to join us in paradise to share our special day but we understand our dream may not be a reality for some and know that your thoughts and well wishes will be with us as we celebrate. We also understand that not everyone is able to commit at this time, so we ask that you please R.S.V.P no later than:

August 1st 2012
 

R.S.V.P

Please return this portion of your boarding pass no later than

August 1st 2012

Name(s) of Passenger(s) _____________________________________

_____________________________________

___Yes, Save us ___ beach chairs

___Sorry, we sunburn easily!

We look forward to seeing you in Mexico!  

 

 

 

Also - on the flip side of things - if i wasn't able to attend someones DW - I'd still like to recieve an invite. Makes me still feel 'included' even though I'm missing out.
If I had already divulged I couldn't go and they didn't send me an invite - I'd be a bit hurt...because what if circumstances change and I AM able to go? Do you phone them up and say 'Uh...can I have an invite now?'....I'd also kind feel like they were cheaping out on printing invites too! LOL

 

[Peach]

Well, I am not 100% okay with my parents' request, but they know the family really well (spend every day with them) so I believe that they know what is best in that situation, so I am okay with it I suppose. I am reminding myself that at the beginning, FI and I agreed that this is what we wanted no matter who or how many other people would come. Definitely helps!

I would rather not offend people, and they are convinced that getting and invite will be very offensive; akin to rubbing it in their faces. That being said, I am still including a disclaimer on the invitations to people who ARE getting them, because I think that is a great idea!

Also, I REALLY like the idea of giving them something just for a keepsake, like rewording it into an announcement. I think I will be doing this, so thank you so much for the idea!

[stluciabound]

That's awsesome Sunshine!! Did you write it yourself or did you find some different wordings somewhere? Now that I see both you and MKJH thought of this I realize how important it is and am glad I saw it now as I just ordered my passport invites this week. Are you placing the disclaimers on the actual invitation or are you placing an insert inside? Mine are still currently in the design process so I have time to add if I need to

 

And @ Peach: I am glad you like the idea for the "announcement" so you will be able to inform everyone and give them a keepsake without hurting their feelings,plus you will still get the benefit in sharing your excitement with loved ones. And I think Sunshine had a really great point... at least this way if anyone that originally didn't think they could come decides they can, than they don't have to feel awkward about requesting an invite or to have to ask, "umm... are we still allowed to come?", which I would imagine would be pretty uncomfortable and would probably make them just not bother. Just thinking out loud, but good luck with whatever you decide. As long as the two of you are there it will be perfect!!
 

Originally Posted by Sunshine2680 

Very good way to word it!
Mine are similar and will read:
 

We have always dreamed of getting married on the beach under the sun, with our feet in the soft white sand, and a background of turquoise waters, surrounded by our family and friends. We truly hope you are able to join us in paradise to share our special day but we understand our dream may not be a reality for some and know that your thoughts and well wishes will be with us as we celebrate. We also understand that not everyone is able to commit at this time, so we ask that you please R.S.V.P no later than:

August 1st 2012
 

R.S.V.P

Please return this portion of your boarding pass no later than

August 1st 2012

Name(s) of Passenger(s) _____________________________________

_____________________________________

___Yes, Save us ___ beach chairs

___Sorry, we sunburn easily!

We look forward to seeing you in Mexico!  

 

 

 

Also - on the flip side of things - if i wasn't able to attend someones DW - I'd still like to recieve an invite. Makes me still feel 'included' even though I'm missing out.
If I had already divulged I couldn't go and they didn't send me an invite - I'd be a bit hurt...because what if circumstances change and I AM able to go? Do you phone them up and say 'Uh...can I have an invite now?'....I'd also kind feel like they were cheaping out on printing invites too! LOL

 

 

[Sunshine2680]

stluciabound - I found my wording on this site somewhere.
I think I was looking at the threads where people were posting pics of all their Boarding pass invites! There are a gazillion good ideas on there
Plus a lot of people will post their templates too!