Bridesmaid Drama....Already?!?

[Essential0929]

Hi all!

 

I just introduced my four bridesmaids to each other via email on Sunday (6/12). My MOHs are college friends and sorority sisters and the other two are hometown friends that I have known from middle school and high school. The girls live in two different cities and will probably not meet each other face to face until the wedding (next year). Yesterday one bridesmaid, HS friend, sent an email detailing her experiencing trying on the bridesmaids dresses to the girls and she was apparently slightly abrasive. According to my MOH, this bridesmaid was shooting down all of her ideas and being rude. It seems like my friend from HS is trying to prove that she "knows me better" and blah blah blah.

 

 

What should I do to avoid the ego trip and competition that I feel is coming between them?

[montygirl]

Hi Essential0929,

 

Congratulations on your wedding! There is always a rift when you introduce school friends to college friends. The school friend might always feel she knows you better and for a longer time than the friends who came in later in life. To solve problems between your friends, you have to introduce all your bridesmaids face-to-face, so that they are comfortable with each other and do not have awkward moments on the day of the wedding.

 

It is important that they get to know each other better BEFORE your wedding. They will be your right and left hands on the day of your wedding and you naturally don't want to add stress to yourself regarding their tiffs on the day of the wedding.

 

So my suggestion is, take some time off and get the girls together on a casual lunch. The conversation is also important. You have to keep everybody in the loop, so that the other doesn't feel left out. Tough job girl! But you can do it. The sooner, the better

 

Good luck!!!

[Soon2BNJersey]

What I would do is look for your own bridesmaid dresses that you like, pick three and have them choose, if it is a tie. you be the tie breaker.  You have so many decisions to make.  You DO NOT have time to be a referee too!  Tell the standoff-ish BM to chill and remember that it is a group effort not a solo show.  Majority rules

 

Best of Luck and Congrats!

Originally Posted by Essential0929 

Hi all!

 

I just introduced my four bridesmaids to each other via email on Sunday (6/12). My MOHs are college friends and sorority sisters and the other two are hometown friends that I have known from middle school and high school. The girls live in two different cities and will probably not meet each other face to face until the wedding (next year). Yesterday one bridesmaid, HS friend, sent an email detailing her experiencing trying on the bridesmaids dresses to the girls and she was apparently slightly abrasive. According to my MOH, this bridesmaid was shooting down all of her ideas and being rude. It seems like my friend from HS is trying to prove that she "knows me better" and blah blah blah.

 

 

What should I do to avoid the ego trip and competition that I feel is coming between them?

 

[celticgirl]

I definately agree with the other post here! Pick a few that you like and let them choose! My girls were all different shapes and sizes, and I told them they can pick whatever they wanted, I got really lucky and they all agreed on the same dress really early (surprisingly its long!)

[merrylee]

Agreed, set the rules early and pick a handful of dresses that you like and then let them choose.  If you don't care if they wear the same dress then they can pick the one they feel looks best on themselves.

 

 

[Essential0929]

Thanks for the advice ladies! I think they are starting to work together better after the initial grandstanding. I actually did send them an email with three dresses that I liked and thought would be figure flattering for all. The drama  began with a bridesmaid going to try on the dresses that I chose and relaying her experience to the others. Now they are all working together on my bridal shower and the "out of towners" are making plans to attend, which is great.

 

 

Here's hoping their new found togetherness sticks.

 

 

What would I do without you ladies to vent to and bounce ideas off? Thanks again!

[merrylee]

Glad to hear that everything is starting to come together for you.

[Essential0929]

Thanks!
 

Originally Posted by merrylee 

Glad to hear that everything is starting to come together for you.

 

[kymish]

i hope it all goes well !!

congrats on ur engagement !!

[Jamie5280]

  I have been in 10 weddings, and I would never act like that!  Like the ladies said, chose a couple and see what happens.  If they still want to fight about it or be sensitive about it, then you can pick for all of them   However, it sounds like they started to calm down!!!  Which is good for you, most of all!!!