To registry or not to registry??

[babystace1985]

Thanks for the tips ladies. We also feel awkward registering for a DW, but we will be moving cross country a few months after the wedding so we will need all new stuff. Perhaps we'll do a registry at Bed Bath and/or Macy's and a honeymoon registry just in case anyone asks but not post it anywhere.

[jordanw0613]

just register... everyone is going to ask you where you are registered anyway..

[jandl2013]

This is so true!  I wasn't going to register, but we kept getting asked over and over so we just caved in and did a traditional registry at Macy's for a few things we like, and we did a non-traditional registry for honeymoon/house down payment with Honeyfund.com.  We just wanted to avoid getting a bunch of things we truly don't need at all since we combined 2 houses. We did state on our website and save the date insert that gifts were not necessary and their presence was more than a gift.  So we covered all the bases so we could stop all of the questions.

[MrsRoy]

Help! Help! Help!!!

 

Ok so we are NOT having an AHR. Just the wedding as I feel and AHR is just another headache I need to worry about and come home to.

 

So my questions is:

Do I make a registry with out a small party/get together to accept my gifts at and thank everyone?

 

We really just want a small crowd to attend and altho we are sending invites to people we are secretly hoping will decline I still have to send out of family respect yadda yadda yadda...

 

What is the etiquette here?

Oh I should also add that I will be having a bachelorette party and NOT a shower/bridal party

 

Sooooo confused

[BusyBee280]

I think some people have taken offense to it, but were asking people not to bring gifts for us. They are spending a lot of money, and I would feel awful if they spent even more to get us something we may or may not use.

 

If it is something in the family then that's different, but we wont be doing a registry-

[beckys98]

Great thread - we decided not to do a registry either. Since all of my friends are married they think it is silly for me not to "cash in" since I have spent thousands of dollars over the years on other people's wedding gifts! Still, I'm insisting on not having a shower because we don't really have local family we need to invite so it would be the same small group of friends coming to the shower who are coming to Jamaica with us. It is completely unnecessary for them to give us a gift - we'd rather them stay an extra night at the resort with us!

 

My fiance would like to put something on our website to indicate that if someone insists on giving us a gift we'd rather it be cash - but I think we should just leave it off all together. Looking at our invite list I think the odds are slim that people are going to give us tacky stuff we don't like without a gift receipt. Our people know whats up  

[Megg]

We are not registering. The gift truly will be our family and friends using their vacation time and spending their money to be with us. I know they are getting a vacation, but they chose it to be with us!

[mysticjade]

We are not registering anywhere on our wedding website we stated this under the section labeled registery information:

 

We are not registered anywhere,

We just want everybody to come down

And share our wonderfull day.

But, if you were thinking of giving a gift,

To help us on our way.

A gift of cash towards our future home,

Would really make our day.

However, if you prefer to purchase a gift,

Feel free to surprise us in your own way.

 

Thank you for helping us to build our new life together!

 

 

I love this, it is perfect and too cute! Might just have to steal the idea

 

Wow! A friend of ours got married this past summer to someone who is Korean, I believe, and at their gift opening I noticed that her family was the same way, PILES of cash. She told me, "Oh, that's just as Asian thing."

Too bad my family isn't like that! Nope, I am destined for toasters and china patterns.... even though I have a toaster and do not want a china pattern! (My mom and FI's mom have the same china pattern... I would not get one at all but I have been told I will inherit these both). Hahaha!

It's totally an Asian/Indian thing too... I'm Indian and we don't do registries, just piles of cash in cards, LOL.

[MJTK]

I'm graciously refusing gifts...I feel awkward accepting gifts..we already live together and just had a baby..I know my friends and family know me well enough to know I meant their presence is present enough...and to those not coming I'm not having AHR so there won't be an event they will attend to feel obligated to give us a gift at..

[MissJen3]

My FI and I dont want a registry, but the strange part is that a few of his friends are 'pressuring' us to have one. We wont end up doing one, but they just keep asking.