To registry or not to registry??

[MrsShoreytobe]

Originally Posted by Peach 

 

 

Well I am new to this too.... my sister is my maid of honour. She and my bridesmaid got a list of ladies to invite to my stagette, and they invited all of them to the shower. Then she asked for  a list of my coworkers, Other than that, my sister just asked whoever.... family and community ladies in my home town. It is being held in the basement of my parents' church (which I grew up in), so I believe there was even a note in the bulletin saying the ladies of the church were welcome.

So other than the list I originally gave for my stagette, and my coworkers, I have no control over my guest list.

Plus, the ladies at work are throwing me a separate shower next month. And none of them were invited to my DW (but they will be invited to my AHR open house). So I guess it all depends.

Definitely see what you mean! Indeed, it can be different for everyone Glad we can bounce ideas off one another!

[Kel123073]

I totally agree.... anyone not on the guest list for the wedding should not be invited to the shower......I actually argued this with my mom.....at first we were inviting every friend and relative.....and then decided against that..... this was very special to us.  We wanted it to be the trip of a lifetime for family and a few close friends who could come..... something that they would never forget....

 

Unfortunately, I have a ton of girlfriends who were all inviting themselves from the get go and their friends were jumping on.  I have a huge family and my fiance has a small family, and he was really uncomfortable with all this, as was I.  Some of the guests were making this a bit of a girls vacation.....when we wanted a smaller intimate family event!  My fiance is divorced with two children and I have several nieces and nephew and they are all close!  We finally decided to keep it immediate family only with a few friends.....

 

So that meant I couldn't invite everyone to the shower, because that is just wrong.  I know feeling were hurt but that was our decision and we are both okay with it.

[Kel123073]

and if co workers throw a shower that is a different story..... it is out of your hands!!!!! so enjoy they are just celebrating your special occassion!

[Peach]

Originally Posted by Kel123073 

 

and if co workers throw a shower that is a different story..... it is out of your hands!!!!! so enjoy they are just celebrating your special occassion!

Yeah, both showers are pretty much out of my hands. My bridesmaid and maid of honour is taking care of the one - I was not even sure if it would be appropriate to have one. But they insisted, and I am glad they did. 

It depends on your friends and family I think.

[hezmshaw]

How many people are coming to your wedding? We only invited a few people... everyone we would have on his side, no one on mine (except immediate family). Drama issues. So there are only 14 of us now. Which is actually more than we thought. We originally thought 20, until the family drama showed up. So we are happy with the 14. That is mostly the reason we are having an AHR... for my family. So if they want to bring gifts, they can. And if not, I am not offended.

14 at the moment as well but we just heard maybe 2 more. I expect this might continue to happen.. A few stragglers. Our package includes 20 so no biggie! There are kids I didn't count in that because they're babies and I don't plan on feeding them surf and turf lol

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by Kel123073 

 

I totally agree.... anyone not on the guest list for the wedding should not be invited to the shower......I actually argued this with my mom.....at first we were inviting every friend and relative.....and then decided against that..... this was very special to us.  We wanted it to be the trip of a lifetime for family and a few close friends who could come..... something that they would never forget....

 

Unfortunately, I have a ton of girlfriends who were all inviting themselves from the get go and their friends were jumping on.  I have a huge family and my fiance has a small family, and he was really uncomfortable with all this, as was I.  Some of the guests were making this a bit of a girls vacation.....when we wanted a smaller intimate family event!  My fiance is divorced with two children and I have several nieces and nephew and they are all close!  We finally decided to keep it immediate family only with a few friends.....

 

So that meant I couldn't invite everyone to the shower, because that is just wrong.  I know feeling were hurt but that was our decision and we are both okay with it.

We had guests do this too. Say "oh my sister wants to come, she wont go to the wedding but she will go to the resort. The girl who said this? Her sister has 5 kids. Then it was her sister and her husband and their 5 kids and her brother and her mother. People assumed that just because they were going on a "vacation" they could invite the universe. When I gently expressed my dislike, I was told "well its a public property you can't tell my family where they can and cannot go." I left it alone because when they called the travel agent and figured out pricing, they knew it was too much for such a large family. 

 

I didn't want a bridal shower but my matron and mom insist. Its going to be a cute simple affair in my matrons backyard. We are inviting all the same people we invited to the wedding and a few we didn't. The reason being that we are also having an AHR and we are inviting 100 guests to that. Also- we invited a few guests to the DW who had to decline and we invited them to the shower. The only exceptions of people invited to the shower and not the wedding are a group of girls (3) I met through my friend who wanted to come to my bachelorette. I met them a few years back and have hung out with them but didn't get close to them until after invites were out. Also- my fiance doesn't really know them. They all want to attend the shower and have asked me and since its informal I figured why not.

[gresley]

This thread is so informative, thanks!

[pzl101]

great thread. My FMIL is on board with a destination wedding but said "oh but too bad you'll miss out on all the presents." I am NOT marrying my man for a toaster! LOL

 

But my sisters and BFF plan on throwing me a bridal shower anyway. The "etiquette" is that whoever is not invited to the wedding shouldn't be invited to the shower but I am having a super small wedding. I'm not having a bridal shower to get gifts but to celebrate with those will not be able to travel down to the islands - like my 80+ year old grandmother.

[flo628]

Originally Posted by KalikLove 

 

I love the honeymoon registry idea but cant stomic the 10% they take off the top! 

That isn't true. Honeyfund only take 2.8% + $0.30 for each credit card transaction - which is reasonable. That's what the credit company charges. The guests can send you a check themselves and there is no fee. If Paypal is used, just the 3% paypal fee is charged. 

[AnaSteele58]

Has anyone tried the Honeymoon Registry with AMResorts (Secrets, Dreams, Now resorts)? We are considering their registry.