To registry or not to registry??

[hezmshaw]

I n

We registered at Sears, and are glad we did. We did have everything we needed... lived together 10 years, and I worked at a kitchen store throughout University! But I know unconventional gifts would go over poorly in my family. So we registered. I know some people like that we did, but most of my family lives in a tiny town in the middle of the prairies, which is where my shower is (coming up on Sunday!)... but it still helped; my sister downloaded the list and printed it off to give to grandparents, great aunts, etc.... that way they could see colours and items, and get similar ideas, or find the same items at other places. We actually found lots of stuff to register for. We upgraded a lot of things. Most of our stuff was hand-me-downs or really inexpensive and older, so we registered for a few upgrades and things like that. I am getting really excited for the shower! And then a little over a week later the ladies I work with are throwing me one too! I am really looking forward to it!  

ever thought of Sears, not a bad idea! They really do have pretty much everything.

[Peach]

Originally Posted by hezmshaw 

 

I n

ever thought of Sears, not a bad idea! They really do have pretty much everything.

exactly, and you can order online, and they are everywhere. So it is versatile for my guests.

[jandl2013]

Hello all, This isa great thread. I've been debating about the same thing. Thanks for all if the great ideas.

[MrsShoreytobe]

Very helpful thread! I have read that having both a gift registry and honeymoon is most helpful for guests.

 

Our reasoning for not wanting "presents" was the same as you ladies - people are coming to be with us on our special day, and we've lived together for years. However, I read that not all people want to contribute to a honeymoon registry and prefer actual gifts.

 

So we will likely register for both.

 

Speaking of showers as well, I saw in an article that you SHOULDN'T invite people to your shower who AREN'T invited to the DW. Because then it seems like "you're trying to get more presents"....It seems though that some of you are having a shower so that other people not invited can come at least celebrate your wedding to come....

 

Any thoughts on this? I'd love to invite more women to the shower, but I by NO MEANS want or expect gifts. A DW is an incredible expense for people, and even if people aren't invited, I wouldn't want them to come with gifts!

[Peach]

Originally Posted by MrsShoreytobe 

 

Very helpful thread! I have read that having both a gift registry and honeymoon is most helpful for guests.

 

Our reasoning for not wanting "presents" was the same as you ladies - people are coming to be with us on our special day, and we've lived together for years. However, I read that not all people want to contribute to a honeymoon registry and prefer actual gifts.

 

So we will likely register for both.

 

Speaking of showers as well, I saw in an article that you SHOULDN'T invite people to your shower who AREN'T invited to the DW. Because then it seems like "you're trying to get more presents"....It seems though that some of you are having a shower so that other people not invited can come at least celebrate your wedding to come....

 

Any thoughts on this? I'd love to invite more women to the shower, but I by NO MEANS want or expect gifts. A DW is an incredible expense for people, and even if people aren't invited, I wouldn't want them to come with gifts!

 

Yes, I wondered about this, but my bridesmaid (who is not even coming to the DW) insisted on throwing me one, which I love.

 

My reasoning is that I am having an AHR... and an open house is part of that. Most of the ladies going to my shower (I think) will be attending the AHR.

From asking around, everyone kind of thought the same thing. They are seeing it more like a celebration and less focused on gifts.

 

I think it depends on the type of wedding. I have been to showers for friends when I could not come to the wedding for religious reasons. I think it is in really bad taste to invite people who are not invited to a regular wedding, but when there is a solid reason, then that is a different scenario altogether. Some of those etiquette rules are a little dated I think, and do not really apply to non-traditional weddings. Of course, you know your friends/family/community best. If it seems like they would be offended, maybe revisit the idea of having a shower.

[hezmshaw]

Originally Posted by Peach 

 

 

Yes, I wondered about this, but my bridesmaid (who is not even coming to the DW) insisted on throwing me one, which I love.

 

My reasoning is that I am having an AHR... and an open house is part of that. Most of the ladies going to my shower (I think) will be attending the AHR.

From asking around, everyone kind of thought the same thing. They are seeing it more like a celebration and less focused on gifts.

 

I think it depends on the type of wedding. I have been to showers for friends when I could not come to the wedding for religious reasons. I think it is in really bad taste to invite people who are not invited to a regular wedding, but when there is a solid reason, then that is a different scenario altogether. Some of those etiquette rules are a little dated I think, and do not really apply to non-traditional weddings. Of course, you know your friends/family/community best. If it seems like they would be offended, maybe revisit the idea of having a shower.

I'm with you on this, I'm inviting way more people to my AHR.  And we invited a lot to the wedding too, we were willing to swallow the extra cost for whoever wanted to come.  But we don't have a huge turnout which we expected anyway, at 1735 a person it was a lot to ask.

[Peach]

Originally Posted by hezmshaw 

 

I'm with you on this, I'm inviting way more people to my AHR.  And we invited a lot to the wedding too, we were willing to swallow the extra cost for whoever wanted to come.  But we don't have a huge turnout which we expected anyway, at 1735 a person it was a lot to ask.

 

How many people are coming to your wedding?

 

We only invited a few people... everyone we would have on his side, no one on mine (except immediate family). Drama issues. So there are only 14 of us now. Which is actually more than we thought. We originally thought 20, until the family drama showed up. So we are happy with the 14.

 

That is mostly the reason we are having an AHR... for my family. So if they want to bring gifts, they can. And if not, I am not offended.

[Mufin1785]

Originally Posted by MrsShoreytobe 

 

Very helpful thread! I have read that having both a gift registry and honeymoon is most helpful for guests.

 

Our reasoning for not wanting "presents" was the same as you ladies - people are coming to be with us on our special day, and we've lived together for years. However, I read that not all people want to contribute to a honeymoon registry and prefer actual gifts.

 

So we will likely register for both.

 

Speaking of showers as well, I saw in an article that you SHOULDN'T invite people to your shower who AREN'T invited to the DW. Because then it seems like "you're trying to get more presents"....It seems though that some of you are having a shower so that other people not invited can come at least celebrate your wedding to come....

 

Any thoughts on this? I'd love to invite more women to the shower, but I by NO MEANS want or expect gifts. A DW is an incredible expense for people, and even if people aren't invited, I wouldn't want them to come with gifts!

Some ladies at work threw me a Shower and many of the guests were not invited to the DW.  They just wanted to celebrate with me.  Traditionally Brides do not throw their own showers so the guest list is kind of out of your hands any way. 

[MrsShoreytobe]

Originally Posted by Peach 

 

 

Yes, I wondered about this, but my bridesmaid (who is not even coming to the DW) insisted on throwing me one, which I love.

 

My reasoning is that I am having an AHR... and an open house is part of that. Most of the ladies going to my shower (I think) will be attending the AHR.

From asking around, everyone kind of thought the same thing. They are seeing it more like a celebration and less focused on gifts.

 

I think it depends on the type of wedding. I have been to showers for friends when I could not come to the wedding for religious reasons. I think it is in really bad taste to invite people who are not invited to a regular wedding, but when there is a solid reason, then that is a different scenario altogether. Some of those etiquette rules are a little dated I think, and do not really apply to non-traditional weddings. Of course, you know your friends/family/community best. If it seems like they would be offended, maybe revisit the idea of having a shower.

 

Originally Posted by Mufin1785 

 

Some ladies at work threw me a Shower and many of the guests were not invited to the DW.  They just wanted to celebrate with me.  Traditionally Brides do not throw their own showers so the guest list is kind of out of your hands any way. 

Great points guys! 

It's interesting to see everyone's reasoning around things. 

 

We thought we would also have an AHR so this makes sense that if you have one of these, then you could invite more people to the shower because they will likely come to AHR too. 

 

Mufin, that's a good point. I am completely new at this wedding thing lol, and as a bridesmaid in my future sis in law's wedding (which is happening locally, not a DW) she DID give us her list. I guess I assumed that I would ALSo be making my own list for the shower and giving it to my bridesmaids....Is this what many of you did? 

 

For me then, the list would be done by me, which should be interesting lol!

[Peach]

Originally Posted by MrsShoreytobe 

 

 

Great points guys! 

It's interesting to see everyone's reasoning around things. 

 

We thought we would also have an AHR so this makes sense that if you have one of these, then you could invite more people to the shower because they will likely come to AHR too. 

 

Mufin, that's a good point. I am completely new at this wedding thing lol, and as a bridesmaid in my future sis in law's wedding (which is happening locally, not a DW) she DID give us her list. I guess I assumed that I would ALSo be making my own list for the shower and giving it to my bridesmaids....Is this what many of you did? 

 

For me then, the list would be done by me, which should be interesting lol!

 

Well I am new to this too.... my sister is my maid of honour. She and my bridesmaid got a list of ladies to invite to my stagette, and they invited all of them to the shower. Then she asked for  a list of my coworkers, Other than that, my sister just asked whoever.... family and community ladies in my home town. It is being held in the basement of my parents' church (which I grew up in), so I believe there was even a note in the bulletin saying the ladies of the church were welcome.

So other than the list I originally gave for my stagette, and my coworkers, I have no control over my guest list.

Plus, the ladies at work are throwing me a separate shower next month. And none of them were invited to my DW (but they will be invited to my AHR open house). So I guess it all depends.