To registry or not to registry??

[jello]

We decided to do charity registries — we picked three well-regarded charities that all spend at least 80% of revenue on programs. One focuses on education, one on health, and one on fighting poverty in the third world.  We figure our guests will probably be happy to support at least one of those causes!  

 

One of our charities is Heifer International, which lets you create a registry of animals like sheep, llamas, chickens, etc.  Your guests pick out an animal, which gets sent to a rural family in Africa, Asia, or Latin America that can use the animal for wool or milk or eggs.  Aside from it being a great charity, we also thought it was really cute to let people get us a goat or a llama for our wedding.

 

I also just discovered this site, and think it's pretty cool even though I'm not using it: www.weddingfutures.com.  You can register for things like a down payment on a house, or starting a college fund for your future kids, or even an investment portfolio.  The site's kind of ugly, but it's a really good idea. 

[ChocoTaco7568]

My Fi and I loved the idea of a cash registry. Simpleregistry.com is the site we'll be using.

[KalikLove]

I love the honeymoon registry idea but cant stomic the 10% they take off the top! 

[AmberDragon]

We're going to register.  I've had way too many friends ask us to register since they won't be able to attend the wedding. 

 

With that said, we are not printing anything on our std's or invitations. 

We did put a little blub down on our website that says:

Your presence at our wedding is presents enough.  For those wanting to  give a gift please see our registry.

We ask that you do not bring any wedding gifts with you to the resort. Your attendance is all the gift that we would ask for.

 

I've been researching the various registries and I'm down to these two:

http://www.rainfallofenvelopes.com

or

http://www.honeyfund.com

 

 

Here is a comparison of a few sites:

http://www.creativehoneymoonideas.info/ideas/2010/12/honeymoon-registry-reviews-2/

 

 

Others have liked these sites:

http://www.travelersjoy.com

http://www.newgiftregistry.com

http://www.honeymoonwishes.com

[TheWolferts]

We are registered; however, I have found that a majority of the presents we have received are from people that ARE attending the wedding. I can only think of 3 or 4 presents that we have received from people that cant make it to Mexico. For my fiance and I, if we are invited to a wedding, we give a substantial gift, especially if we cannot go; however, I dont think a lot of people see if that way.

 

I think a lot of people that we invited are thinking "I'm off the hook for getting them a present since I cant make it to their wedding." It is a little frustrating because we wouldnt dream of not giving someone a wedding present that invited us to their wedding and we bought nice wedding gifts for friends of that have previously gotten married but cant make it down to our wedding, but with only a week until our wedding and less than half of our registry fulfilled, I dont think they are all of a sudden going to get us a gift, especially since I suspect some of them brushed off the idea of our wedding once they saw DW on the save the date.

 

Luckily, Bed Bath and Beyond keeps your registry on file for a year so when Christmas rolls around, I will steer people that direction so we can complete some of our sets.

Originally Posted by AmberDragon 

We're going to register.  I've had way too many friends ask us to register since they won't be able to attend the wedding. 

 

With that said, we are not printing anything on our std's or invitations. 

We did put a little blub down on our website that says:

Your presence at our wedding is presents enough.  For those wanting to  give a gift please see our registry.

We ask that you do not bring any wedding gifts with you to the resort. Your attendance is all the gift that we would ask for.

 

I've been researching the various registries and I'm down to these two:

http://www.rainfallofenvelopes.com

or

http://www.honeyfund.com

 

 

Here is a comparison of a few sites:

http://www.creativehoneymoonideas.info/ideas/2010/12/honeymoon-registry-reviews-2/

 

 

Others have liked these sites:

http://www.travelersjoy.com

http://www.newgiftregistry.com

http://www.honeymoonwishes.com

 

 

[DiggityDawn]

Excellent thread, thank you ladies!

[EVKnowsitall]

I have been fighting with my bridal party about this! To start- I did not want a bridal shower but they convinced me to have one. Then, I thought to have a shower in someones backyard to save money and told them no one would buy gifts unless it was a catered shower. A few people however, have asked about our registry. I would love to register on one of the alternative sites where you can pick different gifts like myregistry.com, or a site where we can receive monetary gifts but I'm not sure if this is borderline tacky. My friend paid a ton for her wedding and already lived with her fiance and on her invitations, she had a link to a registry that was "cash only". I remember thinking "this is so tacky, yet kind of clever" LOL I do not think you can ask people for just "cash gifts" but have seen it done at the last few weddings I have gone to. The truth is, the money is what we could really use instead of china. I just think it comes off a little ungrateful but the rules of wedding etiquette have certainly changed. We have a decent sized NYC apartment- but definitely no where to store gifts.

[DiggityDawn]

I feel you EVKnowsitall. I have been getting grief from the future in-laws for months because we haven't started a registry. They wanted us to create one the second we were engaged so that we could receive engagements presents too. They have even gone so far as signed us up for Crate and Barrel and Bed, Bath and Beyond catalogs... I mean really!!!!!! The problem is that we don't need ANYTHING. I kept telling them we don't need nor do we want an entire store's worth of knick knacks and home furnishings that we already have. We mentioned that we were going to do a honeymoon fund and a universal registry like myregistry.com. This didn't go over too well, and I got the response of, "oh, so you just want cash? Well, I feel uncomfortable telling people that you want cash, so you should let them know that is all you want."

 

I think that the mold is really starting to shift to more modern times with all of the alternative registries like myregistry.com and other honeymoon fund sites. Many of us are getting married at a later age and have been on our own for years. We aren't getting married and going straight from living with the parents to creating our own household. Etiquette is outdated. It does not fit the mold of modern times, and it is us who unfortunately has to break these traditions and appear to some to be "tacky and classless". 

 

It just takes some educating.... Our message on our website and on our registries states to people that we have been living together for quite a while now, and we therefore have everything we need that traditional wedding gifts would furnish, which is why we are signed up for some more modern registries like honeyfund.com and myregistry.com.  And once the future in-laws finally saw the registries, they both liked them and said they had no idea things like that existed and they realize that those registries make more sense for us. They admitted they thought the idea was tacky until they actually saw the registries, but that they are actually quite neat as they loved being able to see all the things we want to do on our honeymoon listed out.
 

[JillTran]

I say definitely register! There are travel agencies out there who have a wedding registry, so if you haven't booked your travel plans yet, you could use that towards your upcoming wedding, or vacation/honeymoon! Most of us already have all the house wares and towels and toasters and what not, and like most of you said, "money prefered" is kind of akward....but a wedding travel registry is great!

[JSLM]

I would say register. I have a similar dilemma in that I already live with my fiance and have everything i need or want. I have been to a few showers now where people only requested monetary gifts. I would prefer this but I know a lot of old school people get very offended with this. So what I am doing is making a very small registry. Plus there are people out there who hate giving people no gift or money as a gift.