Guest list turning into a disaster, advice?

2betaylor · May 26, 2011

Our wedding is about 3 months away now. What do you do when couples you have invited have broken up or are getting a divorce?? One couple, which happens to be my fiance's brother and his wife, are now getting a divorce, they have already paid for the trip and I've been told the wife is still planning on coming but the husband does not want her to come. The other couple has broken up, and the girlfriend is not coming now, but the guy is now getting married to someone we've never met and is planning on bringing her. This is hearsay as well. He didn't tell me he was coming or bringing a complete stranger but he's telling other people. I don't understand why no one is coming to me or my fiance and letting us know anything. Our wedding is going to be very small so this matters! But these are also big steps in their lives and I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring my wedding on them. At the same time though, I'm already bummed that because this is a destination wedding, none of my family will be there and none of my close friends that I've known for years will be there. They just can't afford to go. So the people that are going are part of my fiance's family and mutual friends that we both have. The last thing I wanted was awkwardness, drama and strangers at my wedding when when not a single person will even be there for just me. I'm very thankful that my fiance and I have known each other long enough that I have become good friends with his family and friends, I'm just afraid this is going to turn into a disaster on what's supposed to be the biggest and best day of my life. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How can I talk to them without them thinking I'm pressuring them with so much going on in their lives?? This wasn't a last minute wedding, we've been engaged over a year and half and we booked the wedding this past December and just now, things are starting to fall apart 3 months before the wedding. Should I have my fiance step in and find out what's going on with everyone? Considering this is his family and friends we're talking about? I'm honestly afraid he would be rude about it lol. What should I do?? Thanks for any advice you have.

JayKay · May 26, 2011

I don't think you are wrong to think this way at all. It is really frustrating with guests. I think the best thing for you to do would be with your Fi to sit down and talk with these people, or email them, or do something to find out. Like you said the one has only been saying things to other family and friends so maybe you need to hear from him first hand on the situation. And In some ways I supposed if they have divorced or split up and both want to come then it is their issue and they are going to have to deal with one another. It does suck that none of your family is going. Most of all just remember that its your wedding and the only people who have to be there are you and your FI! And its your special day and you need to do what will make you the happiest!! Good luck with everything!

Originally Posted by 2betaylor

Our wedding is about 3 months away now. What do you do when couples you have invited have broken up or are getting a divorce?? One couple, which happens to be my fiance's brother and his wife, are now getting a divorce, they have already paid for the trip and I've been told the wife is still planning on coming but the husband does not want her to come. The other couple has broken up, and the girlfriend is not coming now, but the guy is now getting married to someone we've never met and is planning on bringing her. This is hearsay as well. He didn't tell me he was coming or bringing a complete stranger but he's telling other people. I don't understand why no one is coming to me or my fiance and letting us know anything. Our wedding is going to be very small so this matters! But these are also big steps in their lives and I don't want to feel like I'm pressuring my wedding on them. At the same time though, I'm already bummed that because this is a destination wedding, none of my family will be there and none of my close friends that I've known for years will be there. They just can't afford to go. So the people that are going are part of my fiance's family and mutual friends that we both have. The last thing I wanted was awkwardness, drama and strangers at my wedding when when not a single person will even be there for just me. I'm very thankful that my fiance and I have known each other long enough that I have become good friends with his family and friends, I'm just afraid this is going to turn into a disaster on what's supposed to be the biggest and best day of my life. Am I wrong for feeling this way? How can I talk to them without them thinking I'm pressuring them with so much going on in their lives?? This wasn't a last minute wedding, we've been engaged over a year and half and we booked the wedding this past December and just now, things are starting to fall apart 3 months before the wedding. Should I have my fiance step in and find out what's going on with everyone? Considering this is his family and friends we're talking about? I'm honestly afraid he would be rude about it lol. What should I do?? Thanks for any advice you have.

ScorpioBride · May 27, 2011

I really understand your frustration. When me and my fiance got engaged we were away from home and staying at a family members house. When we got back to the house after the proposal, the family member informed us that her son in law was leaving her daughter. The following hour was extremely awkward as we were bursting with joy to share our excitement but so sad for the family!!! We did tell them our good news, and it was ok, but then two weeks later her other daughter separated from her husband too!!!!!

Good news is now both daughters are back with the husbands since then, and the family member whom we were staying with at the time of our engagement is coming to our wedding despite our jinx on her daughters! So sometimes the most unexpected drama happens with family, I really do think it all works out and don't worry about being informed with them because they probably don't want to rain on your parade with bad news of their own right before your wedding. You are still 3 months and so much can happen in that time, the situation could turn around completely.

2betaylor · May 27, 2011

Thank you both, I honestly wasn't even worried about the wedding at all until I started thinking about what everyone else is going to do. Guess I'll just start worrying about me so I don't forget what I need to be doing! Like picking out songs! ) I will have my fiance let his friend know that we need a definite answer though. I haven't heard anything good about his new soon to be wife, they actually got into a huge fight right before they just said 'hey whatever, lets get married'. This was after they had known each other for only two weeks. I feel like she's just gonna be drama waiting to happen. Or not, I guess I won't know until it happens lol. I'm gonna try to just focus on us. )

2betaylor · May 27, 2011

And who knows about the divorced couple, guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens with that, hopefully if the wife does go, they'll be able to keep things civil for mine and my fiance's sake.