is it okay NOT to invite everyone to the AHR??

PurpleUnicorn · May 3, 2011

when i planned my destination wedding, i invited everyone i wanted to if i was a having a big wedding in my home town. i knew they all wouldnt come, but i wanted them to know they were wanted and invited. and as i thought, i ended up with a small intimate wedding in Jamaica. however, it was smaller than i anticipated because even 2 of my closest friends who said for sure they were coming couldn't come in the end and my husband's sister and kids could not come who really wanted to be there. so because of these VIPs being absent and several other close friends who otherwise would have been present for sure if not a DW, we decided to do an at home post wedding reception this summer in my home town where most of them live.

however, because we have literally no money for this, we are doing it at my sister's house as a backyard BBQ style party. problem is, we can't fit everyone that we initially invited to the DW. which means we can't invite EVERYONE. is this okay? i am calling it a "name of hometown city" post-wedding reception. so we are limiting invites to people that actually live in that city.

or is it really against etiiquette if we invite some people to the DW but not the at home reception??? (chances are the people we don't want to invite to the BBQ won't even know that it ever happened).

deannamarie85 · May 3, 2011

i think the best route to go would be to have the sister "host" the AHR that way your guests will be invited by her and not you. This way it is more suitable for an intimate guest list!