Wedding Party a Disaster!

mnicole20 · May 15, 2011

I'm so sorry to hear many other brides are having the same struggles I am My so called "friends" have completely betrayed me since I got engaged, and my best friend turned into a jealous psycho after I got engaged, scoffing at every dress, color, or idea I looked at, yet she was so eager to leak the news of my FI proposal to me before he did it! I have since lost all but a select few of my girlfriends due to all this drama, and things just keep getting worse. I chose not to have a MOH at all. My brother can't come, and my Father hasn't been around since I was little, and My Mother has even asked how I would feel if she didn't come??! "Hmmm, let me see, I don't know Mom, DEVESTATED is the word that comes to mind!" Turns out, our wedding has brought the real opinions people have of me and my FI and our kids. Ouch.

However, my FMIL and I had lunch today, and she said something that stuck with me. Maybe it'll help you as much as it has helped me-she said "Nobody is going to be happy about your wedding but you" and she's right, I am not sure what I expected from my BM, or my Mother, but really, I will only be disappointed if I expect anyone to be as happy about OUR wedding as we are, it's ours, not theirs, and the people who should be happy is me and my FI and our kids, and that is who I am going to focus on, that's it!

Weddings really bring out the best or worst of people.

Sheena2011 · May 15, 2011

We initially chose to wait until people booked to ask people to stand for us. However, one of my best friends (known her for 19 years and was her maid of honor) hinted around constantly and I caved and went against our original plan and asked her to be my maid of honor. She was extremely excited and even said she would make sure she wouldn't be more than 6 months pregnant for our wedding (she was trying for her second child). then when it came time to book, it all fell apart. There was no money for a trip. I understand it's expensive, but it would have been much easier if she had told me that from the get go that she actualy couldn't come. My advice? Wait until people put down the deposit!

DramaticAnnie · May 15, 2011

That's something to stick with, nobody is going to be happy about your wedding but you - and ultimately, if a MOH or BM or friend or family member is causing so much drama as to where you're not happy about something, then you should say right then and there, this is my wedding, and I want to be happy about it. Who wants to look back at this special day 20 years down the road and still harbour a little anger that this person was too diva about themselves not to make it or to try to upstage your dress or drop out of your day because you didn't give in to a particular demand or whatever. You can also try to think about if those things might even matter to you 20 years down the road..

Unfortunately I think way too many people just want the 'title' of being a bridesmaid without doing any of the work, even if that work is just being a supportive friend.

kymish · September 9, 2011

love ur FMIL's quote... hope things get better for all u ladies !

Originally Posted by mnicole20

I'm so sorry to hear many other brides are having the same struggles I am My so called "friends" have completely betrayed me since I got engaged, and my best friend turned into a jealous psycho after I got engaged, scoffing at every dress, color, or idea I looked at, yet she was so eager to leak the news of my FI proposal to me before he did it! I have since lost all but a select few of my girlfriends due to all this drama, and things just keep getting worse. I chose not to have a MOH at all. My brother can't come, and my Father hasn't been around since I was little, and My Mother has even asked how I would feel if she didn't come??! "Hmmm, let me see, I don't know Mom, DEVESTATED is the word that comes to mind!" Turns out, our wedding has brought the real opinions people have of me and my FI and our kids. Ouch.

However, my FMIL and I had lunch today, and she said something that stuck with me. Maybe it'll help you as much as it has helped me-she said "Nobody is going to be happy about your wedding but you" and she's right, I am not sure what I expected from my BM, or my Mother, but really, I will only be disappointed if I expect anyone to be as happy about OUR wedding as we are, it's ours, not theirs, and the people who should be happy is me and my FI and our kids, and that is who I am going to focus on, that's it!

Weddings really bring out the best or worst of people.