Honoring a deceased family member

StThomas2011 · April 25, 2011

My stepmother passed away 4 months before our wedding and I was racking my brain trying to come up with a good way to honor her at the wedding, but to not overdue it and hurt my mother's feelings.

She had already purchased her dress for the wedding (which happened to match our color scheme perfectly) and when my dad was cleaning out her closets and donated items, I asked him if I could have it.

I took the dress to a drycleaner and had him cut strips of fabric and make them into ribbons (you can do this yourself if you can sew...I cannot). Then I used that as the ribbon wrapped around my bouquet and my sister's (MOH) bouquet. It turned out lovely and it really made my dad happy when I told him what I did. It was a subtle, but nice way of honoring someone important who can't be there on your special day.

Here is a picture of how it turned out:

ellenj01 · April 26, 2011

That is very sweet! We are trying to think of ways to honor my FI's father (who passed away last year) in the wedding.

LisaMatterni · April 26, 2011

That's so sad story. I'm so touch with what you've done. I guess your mother will be happy for you.

JayKay · April 26, 2011

Thats a great idea! So sentimental!

daizyduke · April 30, 2011

what a beautiful way to honour her.

mdcoug · June 2, 2011

That was a very creative and awesome idea. Since my engagement I have been trying to think of a neat way to honor my mother and sister, doing something creative with your bouquet is a great idea.

Avelyad · June 2, 2011

That is such a fabulous way to honor your stepmother! Very sentimental!

letluva5412 · June 3, 2011

That is a great way to honor her memory!! I'm so touched by what you've done. My FI's father passed away 7 years ago, he comes from a very small family and I am racking my brain to find a way to honor him in our ceremony. I want to mention it to him, but not sure how he will take it since they were all so close. I don't want him to be sad because it's supposed to be our day/ It's been 7 years, but feels as if it were yesterday. Any tips or suggestions?

skybride · June 3, 2011

Hey Letluva...what about honoring your FI's father with your bouquet as well? You could pin a medal of his or a pin of his favorite sports team to the ribbon of your bouquet. You could work in a swatch from one of his shirts into the bouquet or the ribbon, if there's one still around.

If you want something more universal, that you FI can take part in also, you could include his favorite song somewhere in the ceremony, or you could each write a note to him (or one together) and burn it with your unity candle - works best with an outdoor wedding

If you don't find a way you like to incorporate his memory into the ceremony, you could always include a mention of him in your ceremony programs.

Best of luck..it's always tough to balance the joy of the day with the sadness of someone who can't be there.

letluva5412 · June 6, 2011

Thanks skybride... I was thinking of getting a pin with a picture of him attached for the bottom of his boutonniere and my picture of my grandmother attached to my bouquet. Do you think it's much if we honor 2 people? My grandmother passed away last May. She was the matriarch of my family. I think we will also do the notes as well. Thanks again =)

Originally Posted by skybride

Hey Letluva...what about honoring your FI's father with your bouquet as well? You could pin a medal of his or a pin of his favorite sports team to the ribbon of your bouquet. You could work in a swatch from one of his shirts into the bouquet or the ribbon, if there's one still around.

If you want something more universal, that you FI can take part in also, you could include his favorite song somewhere in the ceremony, or you could each write a note to him (or one together) and burn it with your unity candle - works best with an outdoor wedding

If you don't find a way you like to incorporate his memory into the ceremony, you could always include a mention of him in your ceremony programs.

Best of luck..it's always tough to balance the joy of the day with the sadness of someone who can't be there.