MOH rant

[mishi071411]

 

I've read a lot about other brides who are having problems with their guests and wedding party, whether it is due to finances, or control.

I've having issues with all of the above, but my FI and I have decided that we aren't going to let our non-guests' excuses bother us, because there is nothing we can do about their decision to not join us... HOWEVER, when it is family... it's hard not to be hurt or dissapointed.

 

I want to add some venting, mostly about my big sister, my MOH. It is long... but I'm just trying to get it all out. Here we go...

 

When I first started planning, it seemed like she was on board with helping me. She helped me with the idea for my save-the-dates, and helped me with my engagement party. But then things changed... When I was stuffing envelopes and stamping for the 120 save-the-dates she sat in the other room. I asked her 2 times to give me a hand, and she flat out said no. After dinner she did help, but bc our mom told her to.

 

Then, when I first took my sisters dress shopping, they spent most of the time trying to talk me OUT of my wedding color, because they "aren't pink people". I was shocked, they even had our mom in on it. After I stated I wouldn't budge on that, everytime I tried to incorporate them in on their dress shopping my MOH would say "I don't care, I'll never wear it again anyway" in a not-so-nice tone.

 

To relieve some stresses for my 2 sisters (MOH and BM) I offered to take care of their dresses for them. When I told my MOH this, she responded with "I can't afford to buy a dress, I'm spending a ton of money on this wedding for YOU." As if I owe her this, and it isn't a generous gesture, but instead one of my bridal responsibilities.

 

Finally, I just ordered their dresses the other day. They totalled just over $400 with shipping. I purchased the most beautiful convertible dresses from www.henkaa.com in honeysuckle pink, with the matching tube top. I didn't bother calling my sisters to tell them, but I posted it as my Facebook status... which I know they saw, along with my mom. Nobody has said anything yet.

 

As for the many many hours spent creating my passport invites, I never asked her for help. I didn't want to be disappointed in her reponse. And I think I've learned my lesson, I'm not asking her for any additional planning assistance. My FI told me he will help me make this wedding happen, he's my wonderful FI/MOH rolled into one hunky man!   

 

Thank you for listening to my bitching, I just wish my sister had a clue about what her MOH responsibilities were... like to not make this MORE difficult for the bride.

Does anyone have similar rants? Advise?

[JBean]

Aw that's tough. I don't have sisters so I can't really relate to that aspect. It doesn't seem like she's being a very supportive MOH or sister. Maybe you could try communicating that with her?

 

I'm not particularly picky about dresses, so I told my MOH she could pick the dresses for herself and the bridesmaids. When we were shopping she made a comment like "It doesn't really matter what it looks like because I probably won't wear it again anyways" which kind of hurt my feelings. I felt like 'why do I bother being nice??'... If I could do it again I would just PICK the dress and say "wear this". lol. You can't make everyone happy no matter what you do!

 

 

[mishi071411]

You know, I think if I had friends in my bridal party, instead of sisters... this wouldn't be like this. I think when sisters are used to treating each other a certain way for 27 years, it is just the way it is. Thanks for listening to my rant... I feel better today about it!

 

[mandys]

I have started my planning, and I plan on taking care of most everything myself. I am not the type of person to get too much help from others especially because of the problems you are running into. Ps. Love the bridesmaid dresses on that website you posted. Beautiful.

[mishi071411]

oh my goodness! those dresses are so great. I went round and round trying to find them for less money and finally I knew that if I wanted them a certain way, I'd just have to pay for the quality. I can't wait until they come in!

I think when the wedding comes, I'll be so proud of the abilities and creativity I've come up with by doing this alone. So what if I'm not going to be the bride who has wine and wedding craft parties... I guess that isn't how it is for everyone!

 

[harkatea]

yeah, i didn't take too many people's advice either.  gotta stick to your guns on things.

[Sapphire723]

I'm so sorry that she's acting like such a pain.  I hope she snaps out of it.

[Avelyad]

don't let anyone rain on your parade!