How to ask -ettiquette question

traceysteve · April 1, 2011

Originally Posted by mandys

I don't think you should ask. I think you should be able to cover the entire wedding yourself. If you get a gift from them, then all the better. Personally, my fiancee and I are saving for the entire cost of the wedding with no expectations. You shouldnt have to depend on the help.

I absolutely agree with the 'don't-ask-brides-to-be'. You should budget for what you think you can afford, any money in the end will be a pleasant surprise, and a great payment towards your spent credit cards. My FI and I are not counting on anything outside of our own money, I'm sure we will get some monetary presents, but if we don't, no biggie, we're gonna host a great party!

arobarpics · April 2, 2011

My FI and I planned for what we could afford. My parents have already told us that they will contribute to the cost of the villa, and bought my dress. I don't feel right asking his family for anything but it will be a nice surprise if they do give us something.

harkatea · April 3, 2011

I don't think it's rude to ask at all! I mean, in the olden days it was pretty much assumed that they would contribute. But at the same time, if they do contribute, sometimes that comes with strings attached, so you have to be ready for that. I would just think it's pretty rude to expect them to pay a certain amount or to take out of their retirement savings for a over-the-top wedding.

JoanneIreland · April 6, 2011

As much as I would love to know if the future in laws plan on contributing, I wouldn't ask in a million years!! I think partly because I know I am going to be disappointed by them . Oh well. We plan on saving as best as we can assuming we are paying 100% for everything, and if we get anything extra then thats a plus!!