BIL..am I crazy?

june11bride · March 1, 2011

So we knew when we started planning a DW that we might have to sacrifice things and knew that some people wouldn't be able to come. However, my FI's brother was one person we knew we had to have there since his brother is pretty much the only family he has. His brother was unsure if he could make it because he was having financial issues. Being so important to us, we offered to pay for half his and his wife's trip. We booked and paid for it a couple months ago. Today, we found out that they made an offer on a house and it was accepted. We also have to pay for his mom because she has no means to come.

We are by NO means rich. We are both students and have been students for about 7 years. We have been working our butts off to pay for our life while we go to school, and it hasn't been easy. We are pretty good with our money though, but we've made many sacrifices, including living in crap-hole places.

I just don't really feel like it's fair. I think about my hard earned money paying for them to make it while they get a brand new house out of it. It just doesn't seem right. They do have a 1.5 year old baby so that's why they've sort of had financial issues. I had no idea they were thinking of buying a house.

Am I crazy??

morgan7 · March 3, 2011

you are not crazy! i cant believe that they are being this inconciderate... maybe they never thought about how this dicision would effect you. they should have at least mentioned that they were looking for a place and kept you in the loop if anything financial changed for them. maybe just subtly letting them know how you feel will help them understand.

bmadzia1 · March 4, 2011

You're not crazy.. well... we're all a bit crazy . I don't think it's fair, but did you guys discuss the payment with BIL before actually putting donw the money for them? I think a lot of things happen because of miscommunication. Perhaps the reason they couldn't go is because they wanted to buy a house?

By no means I'm taking their side, just asking. I know that if you get your FI to appraoch them now, they can easily say: we didn't ask you to etc. Tough situtation...