Invited to the shower- not the wedding.

emd12 · February 21, 2011

Hi everyone.

I am currently engaged and am in the midst of planning my own wedding, but I've come across a sticky situation and I wanted to get some input on how to best handle this.

Two friends who I play soccer with are getting married and the wedding is in a couple of weeks. Everyone that plays soccer with them and even one of my ex-boyfriends (who they barely see/talk to) received an invitation but I didn't. I did get an invitation to the bridal shower though. I emailed the bride about it and she said that I was definitely invited to the wedding and asked what kind of dinner I wanted. She then told me that she would send me the information on the wedding. I contacted her again about the information but have yet to receive no reply. Her and her fiance haven't played soccer with us this season, and I am not sure when I will see them again.

But I have yet to receive any information. The wedding is in the first week of March and I do not want to feel that I am inviting myself to the wedding, but I am getting the feeling that my presence isn't wanted, otherwise I would have the information already.

Advice?

clgriffi7 · February 21, 2011

I would hate to feel that I was inviting myself and would rather not go than risk doing that...so in this situation I would respond to her one more time and say that since you haven't received any details and the wedding is so close and you do not want to cause her any stress that you will not attend but will be thinking of her on her special day.

That way if she already has you planned for a meal and a seating assignment she will hurry up and write back. But if she was just trying to find a non-confrontational way to keep the invite list smaller, you have already backed out.

wendyL77 · February 22, 2011

I think it is probably an oversite. She is probably crazy business if her wedding is next month. However, you have already contacted her 2x and she still hasnt sent it? How long has it been since the last contact?

emd12 · February 22, 2011

it's been over 2 weeks.

wendyL77 · February 22, 2011

ok then I would write an email like the post above suggested.. saying something to the effect of.... You know as a Bride to be that she is probably crazy busy with planning. But you havent heard from her and that you are not sure what to do. That you dont want to just not show if she has already reserved a meal and place seating for her but you havent received an invitation. On the other hand, you TOTALLY understand if you want to cut back on the guest list and that you have nothing but good wishes for her and hopes she has fantastic wedding.

niajs · February 22, 2011

If she's already mentioned details of the wedding to you and everybody else in your team is invited, then I'd also say it was an oversight (unless you've done something to upset her in the meantime!). I agree with the suggestion of emailing her - good luck!

deannamarie85 · February 23, 2011

Originally Posted by clgriffi7

I would hate to feel that I was inviting myself and would rather not go than risk doing that...so in this situation I would respond to her one more time and say that since you haven't received any details and the wedding is so close and you do not want to cause her any stress that you will not attend but will be thinking of her on her special day.

That way if she already has you planned for a meal and a seating assignment she will hurry up and write back. But if she was just trying to find a non-confrontational way to keep the invite list smaller, you have already backed out.