Calling All StepMoms & SM2B's :)

[coconoir1908]

Hey Ladies,

 

It's been a while since I posted here which is a good thing on the StepMom-Dad front right.  Well as FI and I are in full swing of things, we have 1 child excited (my son cause he will finally have a dad) and the other child (his daughter who will be 19) pulling back.  In dating her dad, everything was fine.  In initially speaking of marriage, everything was great.  But now that we are in full swing of things, she has pulled back a great deal.  Today topped it off for me as I just sent out my "will you be my bridesmaids cards" which was personalized for everyone.  Well all 4 from Maid of Honor to bridesmaid called...crying and yelling how unique and beautiful they were and I have yet to here from her (text, email, FB) nothing.

 

Well although her mom is nice and we have had nothing but kind words, I think she is part of the problem.  The realization that hey, wow this is for real for the both of them is finally coming to reality and on that side may not be all glitz and glam anymore.  In addition, I have had FI stand up for himself and the future US around $$$, and what they call him for (which I know is a HUGE, I'm mean MAJOR part of this as well.)

 

See he use to go out of his way (and at times still do) for them. Either the mom calls and say "she needs this, when can you get it" and then the daughter calls and say "dad I need etc.."  Then I'm saying who the hell is either coming to get it, or why can't your mom get it.  I mean I told FI that shit, you might as well say that she is a boarder in a home that you own.  What does the mom do...besides get your daughters nails and hair done.  Yes I give her credit in that she is in college and looking for a job which is equally hard in this economy.  But for a child that doesn't do much, why the hell does she need $100 a week?  Really, I know what it is like to go to college (away from home) and survive.  However; $100 and you stay at home is freaking retarded.

 

I told FI that he really needs to come up with a plan that is good for US and in our home.  Because $400 a month for a college student who lives at home is toooooooooo did I emphasize toooo much.  And I'm not doing it!! 

 

Wow talk about venting...

 

Feedback ladies...please.  Oh and I did think about taking my future daughter out, to which she will gladly go (anything free will spark her interest).  But right now I'm livid. I know that once I calm down I will think of something creative to do with her.. but I'm just not feeling it right now. 

 

 

[big3n09]

Funny!!! The reality of things does send another message to people.  Me and FI planned to get married in 45 days since we didn't want to put it off any longer after calling it off 18 months ago.  So my shower was 3/27 and I invited his 17y/o she came but had a hard time while there I guess cause she realized it's real.  She made it through and she even came to St. Kitts to the wedding and had a good time.  Now that we are back his 15y/o son is having fit about things but I'm not getting into it and I'm like guess if 1 out of the 4 is mad I'll take that.  Bottom line is she may be having a hard time cause now yes you will be married soon and it's a whole different ball game but she'll learn to live with it.  I figure like we will be married forever so the sooner people get over there issue and deal with it the better off the'll be cause forever could be a long time.  Don't stress she'll come around hopefully and things will be fine.

[coconoir1908]

big3n09

 

First Congrats on your nuptials!!!  I pray that your wedding day was all that you could have dreamed of and more. 

 

Thanks so much for your kind and reassuring words!  FI had a heart to heart with her and her mom.  It was right on time and shortly after my post.  They actually made it easier for him to put things in order by their actions, which pissed him off big time.  Later that day, when they came to the house, FI started right in.  To be respectful to them both, I went upstairs but really didn't need to since FI was so livid that you could hear him upstairs as well.  Things have mellowed out since. 

 

BTW she never received my Bridesmaid card, but happily accepted ;-) 

Originally Posted by big3n09 

Funny!!! The reality of things does send another message to people.  Me and FI planned to get married in 45 days since we didn't want to put it off any longer after calling it off 18 months ago.  So my shower was 3/27 and I invited his 17y/o she came but had a hard time while there I guess cause she realized it's real.  She made it through and she even came to St. Kitts to the wedding and had a good time.  Now that we are back his 15y/o son is having fit about things but I'm not getting into it and I'm like guess if 1 out of the 4 is mad I'll take that.  Bottom line is she may be having a hard time cause now yes you will be married soon and it's a whole different ball game but she'll learn to live with it.  I figure like we will be married forever so the sooner people get over there issue and deal with it the better off the'll be cause forever could be a long time.  Don't stress she'll come around hopefully and things will be fine.

 

[Ellabaja1983]

Big, I hope your day was wonderful as well!!!

 

Coconoir, I'm glad things have gotten a little better since the talk FI had...  I'm also glad to hear that she has accepted to be one of your BM!  I really hope things continue to improve for you!  My FI has 2 boys, and the youngest (12) can be a handful just by what he DOESN'T do...I have thought so many times in the last 3 1/2 years how happy I am that FI doesn't have any girls....  I couldn't imagine the added stress/pressure a girl would add because there is so much more that comes along there....

[coconoir1908]

You know that's right Ellabaja1983, I'm glad FI's daughter is about to be 19....whew I would be if the teens were just starting LOL.  I mailed our Save the dates today, followed by getting my braces for nine months...right now, even the braces can't bring me down ;-) 

 

 

Originally Posted by Ellabaja1983 

Big, I hope your day was wonderful as well!!!

 

Coconoir, I'm glad things have gotten a little better since the talk FI had...  I'm also glad to hear that she has accepted to be one of your BM!  I really hope things continue to improve for you!  My FI has 2 boys, and the youngest (12) can be a handful just by what he DOESN'T do...I have thought so many times in the last 3 1/2 years how happy I am that FI doesn't have any girls....  I couldn't imagine the added stress/pressure a girl would add because there is so much more that comes along there....

 

[Ellabaja1983]

That's great to hear!  Staying positive is the most important thing!!! 

[big3n09]

Ladies the wedding was beautiful I couldn't have changed one thing, I know what brides mean by that now lol.  I'm happy things got addressed because again bottom line is people have to get over it.  She may just needed the talk or some reassurance you know how us females are.  So it's good she's going to be a BM and I hope everything goes just how you want it!!!

[Ellabaja1983]

I'm so glad to hear that!!  Great attitude too!

[baileybutton]

I have no kids of my own, we have been TTC for 6 years, FH has a 14 year old son. I've been in his life since he was six. He's a great kid but a bit spoiled (being the only child of divorced parents). He is having a hard time adjusting to us getting married but I think some of that is coming from just being a teenager. Hopefully things will get better.

[Ellabaja1983]

Bailey, welcome!  How long have you been married?