Calling All StepMoms & SM2B's :)

[coconoir1908]

Hey there fellow SM's!

 

It's been a while since I have been on the site, as FI and I have finally moved into our new home and can breathe a little.  When I say a little it's a real quick breather LOL.  $$$ keep passing before our eyes and boy-o-boy I need a   and it ain't coffee LOL.  There hasn't been much on the home front regarding the future stepdaughter who will soon turn 19, especially since she simply hasn't responded to anything that I may even mention regarding the wedding.  So, with that said I am going to continue to keep her in the loop as I do with my bridal party and if she calls/responds she does and if she doesn't she simply do not. 

 

I have decided that this is OUR day (her father's and I), so I will not chase any young adult, old adult or anyone else down for that matter to participate. I have contacted my bridal party regarding the "Girls Day Out"  breakfast, 2 bridal appointments, 2 bridesmaid appointments, make-up trials by my make-up artist that will travel to Cancun with us, pictures and dinner.  I have received a response from everyone but her (even from those living in CO and TN) that can not make it.  However; to date I have received NADA, Zilch, Zero from her.  Therefore, if I do not receive a response, she will not be included point blank.  I know that her dad maybe a little upset, however; she's not a kid and frankly is acting rather selfishly.  In addition, he hears me planning and knows that she hasn't responded to date. 

 

Our Girls Day Out is June 11th, so I will keep you posted on what happens or simply what doesn't....  this is really a pain in the

 

 

 

 

[futuremrstgun]

you're doing the right thing..rise above it and enjoy YOUR day!  luckily, i have young adult children and a new stepdaughter who are heaven to be around...i can only imagine your angst..BUT, you're marrying him..NOT his daughter..say some prayers...take LOTS of deep breaths and KEEP IT MOVING!  GOOD LUCK!  happy planning!  and keep your head up!  R~

[coconoir1908]

Thanks so much futuremrstgun ;-)

 

As you said, deep breaths and keep it moving....that's all I can do.  Pass a little of the heaven this way ;-) 
 

Originally Posted by futuremrstgun 

you're doing the right thing..rise above it and enjoy YOUR day!  luckily, i have young adult children and a new stepdaughter who are heaven to be around...i can only imagine your angst..BUT, you're marrying him..NOT his daughter..say some prayers...take LOTS of deep breaths and KEEP IT MOVING!  GOOD LUCK!  happy planning!  and keep your head up!  R~

 

[futuremrstgun]

my pleasure...coconoir...don't even give in to the madness..she could be harboring angst from her mom or who knows what else..but i say, let go and let God..he's got a handle on all of it anyway.  :-)  R~

[coconoir1908]

FutureMrstgun,

 

Thanks so much!  Yes God has it and I have let it all go.  I have a long story but short on time for FI to come home.  However; I will say that FI finally had a 45 minute talk with his daughter last week.  It included financial support, family structure and support, communication, participation, etc.  FI and I both feel relieved and since, our communication surrounding or regarding my future daughter is so much easier to have. 

 

Hope all is going well on your end.

Originally Posted by futuremrstgun 

my pleasure...coconoir...don't even give in to the madness..she could be harboring angst from her mom or who knows what else..but i say, let go and let God..he's got a handle on all of it anyway.  :-)  R~

 

[big3n09]

Coconoir I'm happy things have gotten better for you all!!! Futuremrstgun said it best....say some prayers!!! I just said to myself I guess it had to be one or two people at odds with our marriage, just enough to keep me on my knees praying.  I'm also very thankful that it's just one or two, sometimes I just revel in the fact that it could be so much worse but it's not.  I've heard of some and even know of some straight horror stories, my situation is what it is and more than anything I'm thankful it's not worse.   

[kellygrrrl]

on that note, I found a forum that's pretty interesting to read. lots of stories - some are SO much worse than we have it, but it's good to get such a range of information. let me know what you ladies think:

 

http://www.steptalk.org/forum

[STAC8228]

Hi ladies,  I have a 11 & 2 yr old boy. My FI doesn't have any kids, But it makes me love him more how much he's wanting to be that father figure for them.  were in a long distance relationship & go to court next week for relocation motion, to move where he is. Everything in our favor or we wouldn't be going to court, but there is always that chance. so wish us luck. 

 

I thought i was done with kids too till my baby boy came along, Planned or unplanned kids are such a blessing. I dont know what i would do without my boys!

[mrsjdh2b]

Hi Ladies!!

 

I have a 14 year old and 9 year old. FI has no kids and this will be his first marriage. We were friends long before our friendship blossomed into a relationship. My kids have always enjoyed being around him however they both were a little confused when we started dating. There were definitely a lot of issues at first however around Christmas last year they both really started warming back up to him. He's really great with them and while we are still working on them seeing him more as a parental role now versus friend we are definitely making progress. The kids are even looking forward to adding a couple more to the family since he would like a few of his own. I'm very lucky to have such a wonderful man that is willing to love me though I have been previously married and have two kids already AND that he loves those two kids as if they were his own.

 

My advice for the ladies that are taking on the role as stepmom.........be patient they will come around eventually. Remember at some point their short life they have lived was turned completely upside down due to divorce or whatever else caused the parents to part. Just love them the best you can and try to be understanding when they have their moments, especially the with the teens. It will all work out in the end.

[melissa80]

I am SO SO SO happy that I found this thread! I am 30 with no kids and my FI is 38 with a set of 7 year old twins. I have been with him since the twins were 4. The first year was crazy because the "mom" wouldnt let me be around the kids. They were never married and she was still into him. Four years later, we are engaged and now getting married in December. I love the kids as they are my own. They live with us during the week (no court orders) because she cant provide for them and get them to school. We need yo go to court, but there is always that chance she will get custody. For the most part, everything works in our favor and the kids are happy, healthy, and taken care of, so thats all that matters. We are worries that she won't sign the passport forms for them to come with us. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to incorporate the FI's twins in the wedding ceremony. I want them included, but I still want the wedding to be about us.