Tipping???? Help!

[Becsmom]

Hello Ladies,

 

Ok so I'm out of the loop on one big issue, tipping!  My daughter's wedding is this June at the Ocean Crystal Chapel at HHV.  The Hilton is doing the reception and they tell me that the prices quoted are not inclusive of tax and some service charge (Currently over 20%).  When I ask about the service charge they tell me it covers incidentals like table cloths, etc., but also a percentage goes to the wait staff, the bartender, etc.  However, they like to point out that this is NOT the tip.  SO what the heck is it if you are charging me over 20% on top of the menu prices, and tax on top of that?  If it's being distributed between servers and bartenders, etc, isn't that a tip?  

 

If not, how much am I supposed to tip and to who?  DJ, photographer, cinematographer, The Reverand, The Harpist, Servers, Bartender???  Also, everyone but the servers and Bartender, are all the owners of their own company, they have no help and set their own prices (rather high I might add too).  Kind of like you don't tip the owner of a salon if that's who does your hair, but you do tip everyone who works for her. 

 

Also, we are chartering a catamaran and catering it ourselves for the rehearsal dinner.  It rents for $900 an hour, and their website says, not including tip.  Am I supposed to tip them also?  

 

This could get very expensive, but I don't want to offend anyone if they were expecting a tip.  When I got married we gave the pastor whatever amount we felt comfortable with, the church was free, and my dad took care of any tips at the hotel reception if there were any.  So I am just clueless.  Please let me know what is expected if you've had experience with this!  All knowledge will be appreciated!