did anyone have a really SMALL wedding, but without intending to, and how did you feel about it?

[PurpleUnicorn]

i still struggle with that part - about the really important people not coming. i started this post when it was almost the case that my FIs parents weren't coming. i couldn't handle the fact that it would be ONLY my friends and family there.  finally, his parents booked which made me feel a lot better.  also reading everyones replies on here made me feel better about all the other friends who said they were coming and then backed out.  i was supposed to have between 30 - 40 people, now we have 17 including me and FI.  Now i am completely fine with the number of people....though the part that still hurts sometimes is that one of my BMs just recently backed out - after she bought her dress and everything so she really had me believing she was coming!  also, another super close friend backed out who supposed to officiate my ceremony in French!  (FIs family is French and the Jamaican minister we are getting is English). so my friend was supposed to co-officiate.  now we might have to pay $300 for an interpreter or just have an all english ceremony.  i don't know what we are going to do yet.  but its not the money issue that hurts, its that these 2 people will not be at wedding.  i try to focus on my four BMs that ARE coming and how amazing that is and i have to realize that i can't have ALL of them.  i should be (and most of the time i really am) just grateful for those who are coming.  the one thing i know is that when i am there in Jamaica ON my wedding day, i am going to be blissfully happy and it will be the best day ever and the people that are there will make it amazing.

 

i didn't think once about changing my reception plans - i am still doing a private dinner and reception.  the DJ comes with our bonfire package, so i am just keeping it as is.  i wasn't planning on doing an AHR, but have been thinking more seriously about it,. problem is costs. if i do it, it will  have to be a backyard affair.
 

Originally Posted by wilsonj2 

I was really struggling with this for a while.  I originally thought we would have close to 30 people, but now many people have backed out...some really important people that mean the world to me.  My feelings were really hurt at first, but then I realized I was getting stressed over something I had no control over, and one of the reasons I chose a DW is because of the low-stress factor.  Now I've just made up my mind that no matter who shows up, as long as my fiance is there, I am happy.

 

I had plans for the big dinner/reception, and I'm still planning to do the private dinner and reception.  The only change is we won't rent a DJ now...just use the IPod.  We will still do the first dance, but that is about the only formal thing, as we won't be having a wedding party (didn't want to place that pressure on people).

[merrylee]

My FI's father isn't going to our wedding.  Since we invited all of his siblings we are curious because we think he might end up changing his mind and we are not sure how we will feel about it.  It would be great if he goes but I don't want him to go because he feels obligated since his siblings are going.  It's a difficult situation.  We have a TON of people we've invited over 100 and plenty of them state that they will be going, and I still have 13 months to go, but I don't have anyone confirmed and I think I will feel better when someone puts $ down and then I will feel okay no matter what.

[PurpleUnicorn]

i am actually up to 17 booked including myself and FI!  and FINALLY FI's parents booked!  so i am pretty happy.  i am pretty bummed that FI's sister cant come nor her kids who were in the wedding party. and bummed that two of my closest friends cant come.  but we have no decided to do an inexpensive AHR because of all these VIPs that cant come. and i super stoked about it  

 

so overall i think things things turned out for the best. my wedding is not so small that i think its too small, but so large that i need to be worried about being stressed. and i am saving on some dinner costs for my private reception!  too late to save on welcome bags as i already bought the expensive canvas bags back when i thought  i might have 40 people!  so now each person instead of each room is getting a bag!

[SeeFlowers]

Great thread!  I see I'm not alone with my smaller wedding. Invited 60+ people and only 20 are confirmed and 10 are still on the fence.  40 days left...urgh.

[royalbride610]

We thought all of our immediate families were planning to come, but none of them made their reservations early enough and the resort sold out of the less expensive rooms.  So it will be just my fiance and I and I am sooooo glad!  It will be personal and intimate and so stress free. 

[skp1]

I am also in the same boat.  Originally I wanted to elope and not deal with any of this but my fiance wouldn't have it.  So then I figured we'd have something small - close friends and family - 25-30 people.  Well, we started talking about it and as usual EVERYONE wanted to come.  So we changed our plans - private reception, DJ, table decor, cigar roller, etc.  I sent out invites first week in March and out of 44 invites only 11 RSVPs so far.  There are 2 more weeks before the deadline, but I'm not so confident.  I think we are going to end up with the original group of 25-30 family and close friends which is fine by me, but we spent a lot of extra money to change the event to accommodate 40-50 people that we thought would come based on their initial comments.  Those people are not close to us and I won't miss them, but it is annoying because of all the extra time and money we invested.  I guess it's not a big deal at a traditional wedding to have 125 vs 150 people but its is a big difference between 25 vs 50.  I wish people understood the ramifications before they made comments about attending.  And by the way, money IS NOT an issue with any of these people - they have more than they know what to do with - so its really just a matter of convenience to them. Anyway, as long as the important people are there, it will be fine.

[PurpleUnicorn]

I AM BACK FROM MY WEDDING AND HONEYMOON!!!! EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT!

 

And I thought about this thread while i was there.  We ended up with 17 people, bride and groom included.  i had been upset because i had been initially expecting 30 - 40 and thats why i started this thread.  but let me tell you, on my second day into the trip, i was SOOOOO happy there were not anymore people there.  15 guests was ENOUGH!!!!!! the wedding was fantastic. and trying to spend time with people all week was a challenge and stressful at times. more than once i thought, boy am i glad we did not have more people here!!!!!

[skp1]

Glad to hear it went well!  I can see it being a bit stressful trying to see everyone outside of the wedding and trying to break into smaller dinner groups etc.  Well see

[royalbride610]

Thats great that everything went well! 
 

Originally Posted by PurpleUnicorn 

I AM BACK FROM MY WEDDING AND HONEYMOON!!!! EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT!

 

And I thought about this thread while i was there.  We ended up with 17 people, bride and groom included.  i had been upset because i had been initially expecting 30 - 40 and thats why i started this thread.  but let me tell you, on my second day into the trip, i was SOOOOO happy there were not anymore people there.  15 guests was ENOUGH!!!!!! the wedding was fantastic. and trying to spend time with people all week was a challenge and stressful at times. more than once i thought, boy am i glad we did not have more people here!!!!!

 

[CanadianLindsey]

 

 

Originally Posted by PurpleUnicorn 

 

I AM BACK FROM MY WEDDING AND HONEYMOON!!!! EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT!

 

And I thought about this thread while i was there.  We ended up with 17 people, bride and groom included.  i had been upset because i had been initially expecting 30 - 40 and thats why i started this thread.  but let me tell you, on my second day into the trip, i was SOOOOO happy there were not anymore people there.  15 guests was ENOUGH!!!!!! the wedding was fantastic. and trying to spend time with people all week was a challenge and stressful at times. more than once i thought, boy am i glad we did not have more people here!!!!!

I know exactly what you mean!  Dividing up your time while still enjoying yourself can be hard to do, so less is more! I'm so happy for you that it all turned out!