did anyone have a really SMALL wedding, but without intending to, and how did you feel about it?

PurpleUnicorn · May 3, 2011

yup! and i was VERY happy we planned a private honeymoon for 4 nights at another resort.....that was the real VACATION and relaxation time!!

mexicobride422 · May 29, 2011

Although we haven't sent out invitations yet, my mother informed me today that her siblings would not be making any effort to come to our wedding.. Which makes me feel guilty, because I know she would want them there.. Our wedding is about ten months away.. They have known since last summer that we were having a DW, so I hate that they are using financial difficulties as an excuse.. Granted, I know that a lot of my family is not doing so well financially.. However, when they decide to take vacations and spend money on other things they don't seem to be too worried about financed then.. It's just BS..

ANDD BREATHEE.. Sorry got a little carried away for a second..

In the end, I don't care who comes.. All I need is my fiance.. <3

milakd · June 21, 2011

We had 49 guests- Excellence, Punta Cana, DR but I was hoping for 80-100 as we have a lot of friends. It was great group and we spent quality time with all. Everyone stayed at least a week. It was alot of fun but we did not have any time to ourselves. We got up early to have breakfast with the early risers and stayed late with the party crowd. For the entire week we did not manage to have lunch even once because we were too busy talking and drinking with people. It was fun and I would not change it for anything. A small wedding is great! I can't imagine having a wedding of 400-500 people.

Starfish0512 · June 21, 2011

We are having a really small wedding, not intended at first when FI and I were discussing and then the guest list just got out of hand. We made the choice to have immeadiate family only attend our DW and couldn't be happier about it. Including the two of us there will be 18 total in Grand Cayman. We are staying in these gorgeous villas, beachfront, literally, 3 bedrooms a piece, full kitchens etc. Our families have never met in person as they live in two different parts of the country so this 4 night excursion will allow our families to blend and have good quality time together celebrating this new union. Because we are paying for this oursleves, we will be holding off on our honeymoon till the following year when we can go big and go to tahiti or bali for 2 weeks... We are also having a fairly good size AHR upon our return for all of our friends and extended family. Best of both worlds for us, exactly how we wanted it!

skp1 · June 21, 2011

I just got back from our wedding with 33 guests. Yes, there are a few people who i wish were there but overall I am sooooo happy we didn't have a group much larger than this. We were able to spend time with everyone. I was busy playing hostess and making my rounds like so there really is no time to rest. But we leave Friday for our honeymoon so I didn't care. The smaller group allowed us to do so much more - our welcome bags were really nice and guests were blown away. We rented a cabana 2 days so we all had a central point to hang out together. And we were able to treat our guests to more.

I wouldn't change a thing!

kellygrrrl · July 12, 2011

I am so glad for this thread, and especially for the girls who wrote in with too many guests! I was previously concerned about needing to have ~20 guests, mainly because I didn't want to be awkward with fewer people (and to look like a 'sad' wedding setup day-of). but reading all the responses, especially those from brides who have returned has helped tremendously! I now no longer fear having a small group, and, like purple unicorn, I think it might even be preferable now.

this thread has saved me tons of sleepless nights and tears. I'm going to re-read it throughout the coming months to ensure I maintain that perspective. thank you all so much!!

ScorpioBride · July 12, 2011

This is a really hard time for me. I promised myself I wouldn't care who came regardless, that I would just enjoy time with the guests who did come. There are 11 guests coming. ELEVEN. My fiance really thought we'd have 30, so its tough for him. We invited 100 people. The really harsh part is we had to book one of those guests flights on their behalf, he still has not booked his accommodation and the wedding is in 21 days. Another two guests JUST cancelled, and one had told me up until now he was coming, only to reveal today that his place ticket is costing him 5% more than what he budgeted for. I am angry because I spent HOURS researching flights, accommodations for this guest who is coming from another country, I found him sales, but he waited to long and now the sale has gone up a bit (although it is still a sale). 5% translates to roughly $150... I just don't get it. Now he won't come.

You bet we will have a blast with those guests that come, this whole experience INDEED made me really happy about my decision not to have a wedding within my home country. #1 my ENTIRE family is spread out over the country and they would have had to fly in anyways to me, my fiance and his family's location here, and #2 to cancel things with vendors here is not permitted, I would NOT have the flexibility here that I have in a destination wedding. And cancellations would have happened. We have successfully weeded out all the two faced fakers who would have simply come to eat a free dinner.

Now we get to the etiquette in which I will be harsh... From the 100 guests we invited, we have only received about 25 RSVP cards back. The due date is passed by nearly two weeks. My entire family has dropped the ball since they only account for 3 of the eleven people, that is my immediate family, and all my other relatives completely blew us off. We received three congratulations cards from the 100 people we invited, no gifts, and I know this sounds pathetic but I am so happy I could cry over those three cards. They are sincere and sweet and framed on my wall and it means me and my new husband will have three people that we know are there for us for LIFE. We also have four events total that we have invited people to attend, stag/stagette, backyard party before we go, wedding, and another welcome backyard party for when we return. Two of those events were planned by my fiance's family because they wanted to give people the maximum opportunity to celebrate with us, BUT unfortunately, these so called family and friends are blowing off every event. They won't even RSVP to a single ONE. We are giving people four chances in three different cities and they wont even try and connect with us. There is always an excuse and it makes me feel alone, since I don't know what I did or didn't do that they care so little for us. I tried really hard to reach out my whole life and it hurts observing how other people don't try at all yet they have family that communicates and comes together so well. I want something like that.

I guess when I hear brides complaining about the lack of guests, cards, gifts, whatever it makes me cringe because it makes saying my situation out loud seem so pathetic in comparison to how bad they perceive theirs to be because I don't know anyone who has received as little support as we have from family... Yet I still feel somewhat fortunate. Nothing except a hurricane can keep me from enjoying my wedding day.

kat2012 · August 10, 2011

ScorpioBride,

I feel bad for you.

My FI and I decided to avoid all the issues you are going through.

We started talking to our friends and family about our wedding, my mom and my aunt were absolutely happy about it. But then many friends were on the fence about it, so was his family. I was soo upset about it. I almost cried, but then out myself togther. I called my mom and asked if she would be ok if it will be just the two of us getting married without inviting anyone else. She was ok with it. So here it is, just me and my FI having wedding/vacation of our dreams with no stress. We will have casual AHR, and we also were not constrained to peoples budgets so we got to go to better resort and move our wedding 4 month closer. I am really happy with our decision.

I think you should stop worrying about other people, it is their loss not yours. Just enjoy your day with your guests.

Good luck, feel better.

Bride2012 · August 10, 2011

I agree with Kat, its YOUR wedding, at the end of the day, if you two are husband and wife, that's all that matters!

I am in the same situation, we dont have many people booked and I did all the research and planning MONTHS ahead, sent out spreadsheets of the cost and tentative payment schedule. I handmade invites and KNEW no one would send back the RSVP, but I went in knowing that. I was prepared for not that many to come, especially with the economy the way that it is. But my FI and I will have a vacation and have photos for memories, that's what matters to me

Branya2012 · August 11, 2011

Speaking as someone that is currently in the middle of all of the emotions, THANK YOU all for your words of wisdom!! It's so comforting to hear that you ladies are going through some of the same things that I am going through right now and I especially am grateful for what you said below, ~Nicole~.

It's so hard as we go along planning our DWs, it's only naturally to want to please everyone. But the truth is that even if you were to try to stay at home, at the end of the day you can't please everyone. People so easily forget what a wedding is all about and become so selfish. I've told myself over and over, that all that matters is that my fiancee and I are there and that we get our dream wedding on the beach. We are going to have a fabulous wedding and it might be difficult at times when planning, but I know I won't regret having a small DW for a second.

Originally Posted by ~Nicole~

This was my situation exactly. The usual - everyone is all on board and they will 100% be there. I had even put deposits down for ppl and they ended up bailing. It ended up being 9 of us in total, and that included a 6 month old baby lol. The only family that ended up coming were my brother and sister. My mom, who I'm very close with, or was very close with, didn't come which I thought would bother me. I know that I can't take away any of the emotions that you're going through because I think those are inevitable, but let me assure you that your wedding will be amazing. I had some important ppl not come, and to be perfectly honest, I didn't miss them one bit. Sorry Mom, but I didn't think of you all day!! And that's completely true. We all get so caught up in trying to PLAN the perfect day. But truth be told, its the purpose of the day that makes it so special and perfect. After going through the roller coaster of emotions through my planning process, I wouldn't change the fact that I did a DW. The only thing I would do differently is to not worry about all those things that I lost sleep over and cried about. So you're not alone! I wish you the best wedding day ever!