did anyone have a really SMALL wedding, but without intending to, and how did you feel about it?

[PurpleUnicorn]

 

 

Originally Posted by mishi071411 

 

It is so refreshing to see this post! Just yesterday I was looking for posts from people in my shoes. I had so many people that were very excited about the wedding, and now less and less. My FI and I specifically asked my uncle, because he was planning to marry us. Him and his wife (who are avid scuba divers and travel enthusiasts) were very excited. We also asked my FI SIL because she's picky... and she thought it was a great idea too! Well they both backed out, along with tons of other people that said they would go. I began buying a lot of things for oot bags, and now am backing off until it gets closer so I don't waste my money. I told my sisters that the girls on this website have tons of people booked, and that I must be doing something wrong! They were so supportive with "Forget them, we'll have a blast without them". Everyone says "You're having a reception when you get back, aren't you?" and everytime they ask this I can't help but wonder if the AHR will have to be bigger then I originally expected just to accomodate the people who can't go (I only wanted a small party back home) This is always what I've wanted, but I guess I expected people to be more honest then telling me what I wanted to hear. Out of 120 invites, we have 5 people booked for a July wedding.

 

 

i totally sympathize....i asked a very good friend to marry us and up until about a month ago she was planning to come!  i am so disappointed not only because i wanted her to conduct the ceremony but because she is one of oldest friends.  i still have some hope she will find a way last minute to come...

 

and i also get what you mean about seeing everyone on here with so many guests! i guess its good i started this thread because it seems now like there are a lot more people like me, just no one was advertising it!

 

[marinemeuwec]

Its understandable that you want a lot of people to share in your big day.  Are you having a welcome home party after your wedding sometime?  We are fortunate to have around 45 people coming to our wedding but there was a TON of the people who couldnt financially or take time off of work, so we are going to have our wedding ceremony video taped and play it at our welcome home reception in the summer.  It will be BBQ style and low key but a time to share the moment again with people who couldnt make the trip.  Just an idea if you are on a budget and still want to share your moment. 

 

Focus on the people that are there and are able to make it, and you will have a blast!!

[merrylee]

 

 

Originally Posted by Banksnelson 

 

I am going through the same thing. I never wanted a really big wedding but I expected more than the 14 we have booked now with less then 3 months to go. Part of me feels silly spending so much money on a dress and shoes and stuff for just a few people to see. But I'm really trying to not stress over any of it anymore. I know we will have a great time and in the end none of the little things will matter!

 

It's your wedding, and you should have it your way.  The dress and everything isn't for everyone else it is for you and your HTB.  Remember that your wedding is about you and not about your guests, and plan it accordingly.

 

Wish I would remember that sometimes

[merrylee]

 

 

Originally Posted by mishi071411 

 

It is so refreshing to see this post! Just yesterday I was looking for posts from people in my shoes. I had so many people that were very excited about the wedding, and now less and less. My FI and I specifically asked my uncle, because he was planning to marry us. Him and his wife (who are avid scuba divers and travel enthusiasts) were very excited. We also asked my FI SIL because she's picky... and she thought it was a great idea too! Well they both backed out, along with tons of other people that said they would go. I began buying a lot of things for oot bags, and now am backing off until it gets closer so I don't waste my money. I told my sisters that the girls on this website have tons of people booked, and that I must be doing something wrong! They were so supportive with "Forget them, we'll have a blast without them". Everyone says "You're having a reception when you get back, aren't you?" and everytime they ask this I can't help but wonder if the AHR will have to be bigger then I originally expected just to accomodate the people who can't go (I only wanted a small party back home) This is always what I've wanted, but I guess I expected people to be more honest then telling me what I wanted to hear. Out of 120 invites, we have 5 people booked for a July wedding.

 

 

You will have an amazingly beautiful time, and the experiences you will be able to share with this group of people will bond you together more than you know.  Enjoy every second and I can't wait to hear about it.

 

[Diva]

We too had about 50 people that were gung ho about coming when we initially sent out the deposit email a little over a year ago.  We even had 5 guests who paid their deposits but ended up canceling 3 months ago!!!!! So now we are down to 18 people, including the groom and I and I am fine with it! At first I took it as a personal assault but then I realized the most important people will be there regardless and it will be fabulous!

 

We have a little over a month to go and all but 2 of the 16 people have flights booked.  I am not concerned, because there is no refunds at this point so they will be there if they have to pay an arm and a leg for airfare, o well!

 

So anyhoo, don't worry, your wedding will be everything you ever dreamed...and more :-)

[islandbride8]

 

Originally Posted by mishi071411 

 Everyone says "You're having a reception when you get back, aren't you?" and everytime they ask this I can't help but wonder if the AHR will have to be bigger then I originally expected just to accomodate the people who can't go (I only wanted a small party back home) This is always what I've wanted, but I guess I expected people to be more honest then telling me what I wanted to hear. Out of 120 invites, we have 5 people booked for a July wedding.

 

 

Initially i thought about having an AHR, then i changed my mind.  My fiance and I both have large families and everyone whom we wanted to come, has been invited to the DW.  If they aren't able to make it that's fine, but we're not going to throw a party for them when we get back either.  I've been to weddings where i have to travel several hundred miles to get there.  I realize we are asking a lot more with a DW, but I'm not having a reception for people who don't come to our wedding.  I don't think you should feel pressure to change your AHR to accomodate anyone. As brides, this is all about our dreams and not accomodating others.  Follow your heart and any changes you make should be for you and not your guests.  good luck

 

[islandbride8]

 

Originally Posted by PurpleUnicorn 

 

and i also get what you mean about seeing everyone on here with so many guests! i guess its good i started this thread because it seems now like there are a lot more people like me, just no one was advertising it!

 

 I definately agree with this.  i only sent 36 invitations and have some people "saying" they're coming, but who really knows.  It's initimidating to read on here about the huge private receptions and 50-100+ guestlists.  I think this is a great thread and we should ban together to help each other with the kinks of smaller weddings.  Are you guys having a private reception?  we are having a semi-private dinner at the steakhouse in our resort (included in the wedding package), but are debating on the private reception after.  we don't want people to feel lost if there are only 15 of us or so.  I like the small, intimate feel that comes with just a few guests, but i also want to accomodate their needs and exceed their expectations.  What is everyone doing?!?!

[CanadianLindsey]

Oh, please don't feel like your wasting your time by being beautiful and dressed up on your wedding day. Think of the photos that you will share with friends and family once your home and maybe even your future children. It breaks my heart to think of you girls letting potential guests ruin your wedding day like this.  I picked out my wedding dress with the intention of looking beautiful for myself and my FI.  He will still be at the front of that aisle waiting to see his future wife, so don't feel silly about your dress and shoes, feel excited and happy!!! 

 

Originally Posted by PurpleUnicorn 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banksnelson 

Part of me feels silly spending so much money on a dress and shoes and stuff for just a few people to see.

i feel this way too!  i was thinking, why did i spend so much on my dress?  for 10 people to see?  

[acireta]

Well put, Lindsey. Don't be sad, be excited about how beautiful you will be and how amazing the pics that last forever will be..... and how jealous everyone who wasn't there will be when they see them! muahahaha, I'm a little bit evil
 

Originally Posted by CanadianLindsey 

Oh, please don't feel like your wasting your time by being beautiful and dressed up on your wedding day. Think of the photos that you will share with friends and family once your home and maybe even your future children. It breaks my heart to think of you girls letting potential guests ruin your wedding day like this.  I picked out my wedding dress with the intention of looking beautiful for myself and my FI.  He will still be at the front of that aisle waiting to see his future wife, so don't feel silly about your dress and shoes, feel excited and happy!!! 

 

[mishi071411]

I'll start with sharing plans for the smaller weddings:

We are having a semi-private reception in one of the restaurants. I can't see spending money on dinners that my guests have already paid for through their "all-inclusive" package. Other than that we are thinking of heading to a common "disco" afterwards for some fun.

We were also thinking of a scavenger hunt the day before. I'll order the "customer cards" from vista print and have it customized to our resort. Our guests will have to go get their cards punched from different bars or people around the resort ... that could be so much fun, and a great way for our guests to learn their way around and all their options! Anyone else?

Originally Posted by islandbride8 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by PurpleUnicorn 

 

and i also get what you mean about seeing everyone on here with so many guests! i guess its good i started this thread because it seems now like there are a lot more people like me, just no one was advertising it!

 

 I definately agree with this.  i only sent 36 invitations and have some people "saying" they're coming, but who really knows.  It's initimidating to read on here about the huge private receptions and 50-100+ guestlists.  I think this is a great thread and we should ban together to help each other with the kinks of smaller weddings.  Are you guys having a private reception?  we are having a semi-private dinner at the steakhouse in our resort (included in the wedding package), but are debating on the private reception after.  we don't want people to feel lost if there are only 15 of us or so.  I like the small, intimate feel that comes with just a few guests, but i also want to accomodate their needs and exceed their expectations.  What is everyone doing?!?!