Guests complaining of All-inclusive resort....

[bmadzia1]

Perhaps I should say that to some of my 'friends' lol....

 

Originally Posted by dcairns 

i've had that.. i've told them out right that its basically costing me the same per head as home when you factor everything in. I'm not paying for a limo ofcourse, but i am paying for each head, dinner, bar. Hair/Makeup, Photographer and such. I'm dropping another 5 Gs on just the reception. Not to mention OOT bags and invitations and all the other stuff. All in all, it is "cheaper" but i would not consider it inexpensive.

 

I put them all straight the ones that have the balls to say anything to me or others. I just say, Yes a wedding with a couple of people is inexpensive, but currently i'm at 47 people plus us... believe me its not like its free... And my FI said to one aunt, "You don't have to come if you find it too expensive"... lol. She was the first to book!

 

[mmcst38]

It is kind of comforting to know other BDW brides are having this same issue.  My FI and I were very reassuring (or so I thought) to explain to people, that we COMPLETELY understand if they can not make it to our wedding no matter what the reasoning, money/time/fear of travel.  We are having a casual AHR to include everyone in the celebration.  Thought everything was going great with reactions to our decision on a DW until my FI, sister-in-law (just as of 5/10) made the comment that she can't afford to buy new pots and pans because she "HAS" to go to Jamaica in the spring, and that now she can't get pregnant right away because she will have to fly, and has also commented that the price of flights has went up....its not so much what she said (eventhough its all ridiculous) but the context and tone in which she said it, Nevermind that we just spent how much money and used days off of work for their wedding!

 

Sorry for the long rant, its just no one else has been able to remotely understand why this is so rude to me....she also commented..."you're allowed to have a shower if you get married,away"

[dcairns]

I was 50/50 on a destination wedding. I asked each person that I had to have there, if I were to have one, would they be able to come. When I got the go ahead.. then I booked the first 10 and 37 others followed. And possibly more as they need to wait to get closer to the date. I felt guilty at times, then mad and now i'm indifferent. I got the same "comments" from a sibling. My answer was that they are getting a vacation out of it, and if they persist on trying to make me feel guilty, that I rather not talk to them about it. Of course, I got an instant apology, and I do believe that there has not been any other comments to anyone else.

 

But lets face it, here, away... a wedding brings out the worst comments, and opinions. We just have to remember to make it our own and about your and your husband to be.

 

The best comment that i've heard is.. "I can't believe how many people are actually going!!"... Its not like we are asking people to walk across hot coals, or participate in a satanic ritual... its still a vacation for them after all!!!

 

lol... i guess i had more pent up hostility than I thought!!! Sorry for the rant!
 

Originally Posted by mmcst38 

It is kind of comforting to know other BDW brides are having this same issue.  My FI and I were very reassuring (or so I thought) to explain to people, that we COMPLETELY understand if they can not make it to our wedding no matter what the reasoning, money/time/fear of travel.  We are having a casual AHR to include everyone in the celebration.  Thought everything was going great with reactions to our decision on a DW until my FI, sister-in-law (just as of 5/10) made the comment that she can't afford to buy new pots and pans because she "HAS" to go to Jamaica in the spring, and that now she can't get pregnant right away because she will have to fly, and has also commented that the price of flights has went up....its not so much what she said (eventhough its all ridiculous) but the context and tone in which she said it, Nevermind that we just spent how much money and used days off of work for their wedding!

 

Sorry for the long rant, its just no one else has been able to remotely understand why this is so rude to me....she also commented..."you're allowed to have a shower if you get married,away"

[sebitasalejo]

You are so right. It is a vacation anyway.

To be honest, when it comes to weddings, I always think about how much it is going to cost. I just don't make any comments about it. I am very conscious that people are thinking and possibly talking about how much my wedding is going to cost. For some reason they chose to tell my mom and not me so I'm chill. I would probably not even respond just because that's the way I am. I do love the "I you can't afford it, then you probably shouldn't come" comment anyway! 

[jenngene2011]

So I haven't been here for a while and just saw this thread and I'm shocked that so many people can be so rude.  So far we have about 40 guests booked and more counting which i hope stops LOL.  I mean my thing is this if you have an at home wedding with 200 people of course that is going to cost alot more than 40 guests I mean come on people.  But the person can get to be alot more than the per person at home.  I mean just look at our OOT bags which are costing me alot more than buying some little favor or bag full of nuts or candys at traditional wedding.  For example my FI BM is getting married two months after we get married.  They are getting married in Jersey and guess what we have the same bugdet for our wedding and they are having 150+ guests.  Just because a wedding is DW doesn't mean it's cheap it not like we are having a backyard barbeque and are tellng guests to brng food and drinks.   So ladies don't listen to these people as they probably get ther jollys off by making you feel bad. 

[fmichelle]

We're purposely having a destination wedding so that the group is smaller than an at home wedding. We figure the people who are important to us will understand the importance and will come.  And for those who don't want to pay for an AI (even though paying alacart can be significantly more expensive) we gave them the option on our website to stay where ever they want and we'll pay for the day pass for them to come to our resort.  Of course that defeats the whole purpose of spending an entire week with our guests and not just a few hours (partly why we wanted an AI in the first place) And like many of you have said, it's a vacation for them too.  Granted, we've chosen their vacation spot for them, but IMHO, it's an AWESOME vacation spot. 

[CanadianLindsey]

We have had lots of the same comments from our family/friends too.  But in the end, we had 24 amazing people join us for 7 memorable and crazy fun days and everyone had the time of their lives!  Now when the "no shows" talk to anyone that has come, you can see the look of regret on their faces!  Makes me smile inside!!  He he!

Oh, and the guests that complained the most about how expensive AI is and how wasteful it would be...they loved it so much they bought a package for 9 more weeks at our resort!! 

[cookiemunchkin]

Totally agree with this, it can be just as costly to have a destination wedding if not more so!  We have almost 50 booked (and I'm also hoping it stops lol, though I am super thankful that so many people want to and are able to be there for us) and as it stands now its costing us about the same as it would have cost to have a 150 person reception at home.  It totally irks me when people make comments like "oh your wedding must be costing you nothing since its at an all inclusive"... and I hate being one of those brides who drops numbers, but sometimes I just cant help it and pointedly tell them no its actually costing us more.

 

I'm sure some of us chose destination because it is more cost effective (and up to a certain number of people, it probably is) but some of us also just chose it because we wanted a smaller wedding in beautiful scenery that is more memorable than the typical at-home wedding.  Its our day and it needs to be special and memorable to US, and people should either come and be happy for us or stay home (and still be happy for us from their homes, but you know what I mean). 

 

Ok done ranting now haha, just having one of those days  .  I do love coming to this forum though and knowing that so many of us really do understand what we're all going through. 

 

Originally Posted by jenngene2011 

So I haven't been here for a while and just saw this thread and I'm shocked that so many people can be so rude.  So far we have about 40 guests booked and more counting which i hope stops LOL.  I mean my thing is this if you have an at home wedding with 200 people of course that is going to cost alot more than 40 guests I mean come on people.  But the person can get to be alot more than the per person at home.  I mean just look at our OOT bags which are costing me alot more than buying some little favor or bag full of nuts or candys at traditional wedding.  For example my FI BM is getting married two months after we get married.  They are getting married in Jersey and guess what we have the same bugdet for our wedding and they are having 150+ guests.  Just because a wedding is DW doesn't mean it's cheap it not like we are having a backyard barbeque and are tellng guests to brng food and drinks.   So ladies don't listen to these people as they probably get ther jollys off by making you feel bad.