Dealing with family...

[NATASHA]

That's funny Glenda.

 

I say, accept their statements gracefully and say, "We totally understand if you can't make it." There's no need to engage in any more conversation. I think that even if they sent me an email with an alternate place to get married, I'd reply back, "we totally understand if you can't make it."

 

UGH!

[Lizzy]

Oh Glenda, you are so damn funny! I wish we had hooked up in NY!

And, don't let anyone take your happiness away from you! How dare they?

When Maggie and Tadd first told the family they wanted a destination wedding, I was not the perfect mother of the bride. Buzz and I don't have alot of money and were having a difficult time seeing how a DW was going to save money! When Maggie finally explained to me that with a DW she would not have to include her 7th cousin 4x removed in her guest list, I finally began to see her reasoning. Like the other brides have said, the ones who support your decision, and are with you on your wedding day, are the ones who count. I don't mean to say that if Uncle Andy really cannot afford to go this means he is selfish and vindictive. If Uncle Andy made lots of trouble and stress for you, then maybe he's a jerk and the kind of riffraff you don't want there anyway. But if there is no way he can go, but he wishes you and your FI every happiness, you will be sad he won't be there, but you understand.

Be tough, stick to your dreams, and be true to yourself. When people realize that you are going to do this, no matter what they say, they will soon shut their mouths.

[Starfish]

Thank you everyone. It's Myles here. I've been telling Sarah the same things as all of you. It's about us, it's our day and frankly, anyone who wants to stand in the way of that can just go "kick rocks" I believe is what the saying above was

 

Anyways, I know she's having a hard time with all of this as it's mostly her mother and older sister who want us to go clear across the world to have our wedding in our home town. We don't want to do this for every reason under the sun!

 

Sarah is feeling much better about all of this now (so she tells me anyway!) I think she just needed to know that others were feeling the same way and that at the end of the day family will be family and if they want to be at our DW. . .they'll be there. . . if not, they're going to miss one beautiful party!

 

It's our day and we've put a lot of planning into it and we're having it the way we want so that we are the ones that when it's all said and done are left smiling on the beach.

 

Thanks again everyone.

 

Myles & Sarah

[Jessica]

Aww, I'm sorry your famly is giving you such a hard time! That's awful. But as other people said, just basically try to let their comments roll off your back. Say you understand if they can't make it. The end. Don't stress out about it, don't try to convince them they can come, don't pay attention to their "helpful" location suggestions.

 

I'm lucky in that I really didn't get much resistance from my DW. Family and friends who couldn't make it due to financial reasons basically told me "which we could be there, but we just don't have the funds right now" which was totally cool with me. Everyone that came to our wedding was really excited about the oppotunity and excuse to travel. So I really lucked out there. Also my family is spread out between the east and west coast anyway, so I think travel was expected to occur for the most part.

 

But yeah, I know it's easier to say, but don't let them get to you. I think people just like to find stuff to bitch about. At the end of the day, you'll be married exactly where you wanted and that's all that will really matter. Trust me, in the long run, everything else is just bullsh!t.

[melglnh2o]

Sarah (and Myles),

 

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. My fiancee and I also had the same problem. I realized that no matter where we had it someone was going to complain and you can't please everyone. Like everyone else has said, it is your day. Do what you want!! As for the people complaining about expenses (which is a very valid point), I told them to sign up for an American Airlines Citibank MasterCard. They get 20,000 bonus miles after the first purchase, plus they can use the card from now until the wedding on everyday purchases. Before they know it, they will have enough points to get a free round trip ticket. Maybe you can suggest that when they start complaining to you.

 

You have a big heart and that is why you are worried about everyone else but you never know. Maybe after all the complaining, this could be the best "vacation" of some of their lives.

 

Enjoy!

Melissa

[flo628]

I told everyone that it is absolutely fine if they can't come. And if we didn't ask you your opinion, we didn't want it. Family are a real pain sometimes. It's really better if hey don't come. They should see it as a vacation!!! Ugh.

[Jennkn87]

Quote:

Originally Posted by flo628 

I told everyone that it is absolutely fine if they can't come. And if we didn't ask you your opinion, we didn't want it. Family are a real pain sometimes. It's really better if hey don't come. They should see it as a vacation!!! Ugh.

Totally agree with you! I would definitely see it as a reason for an awesome vacation! Why can't everyone else????!

[cocosoup]

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[cocosoup]

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[kellisbaby]

I'm glad I found this thread.  I haen't gotten any pushback yet from guests, but I am totally going with "we totally understand if you can't come" if anyone starts complaining.