Bridal Shower - Yes or No?

Willow188 · November 16, 2010

I'm getting married in St. Thomas in March, and we're only inviting close family and best friends - about 50 people, and it's looking like 35 will be there. I've read that you can't invite people to the bridal shower who are not invited to the wedding, but my family is saying they want to throw me one anyway. What do I do? I really REALLY want one, but I don't want to look bad. Plus, there are a few people I didn't invite to the wedding, and they're upset about it. (But that's a whole different story.) I don't know if they would be more insulted about being invited to the bridal shower and not the actual wedding. HELP!

latinive · November 16, 2010

Hi Willow188. I feel about the same on this. I don't want to look like I'm asking for anything but I think my fiance's family is going to insist on having a bridal shower. And I wonder if it's appropriate to have one considering that most of the people that would get invited are not being invited to the wedding. In the end, I don't think I will have much control over that. We will see what happens. Good luck with your planning and enjoy yourself.

Aumuller · November 16, 2010

I know I wouldn't be upset about it because I would understand that DW are usually smaller and more intimate and being invited to the shower allows the person to still be involved in the wedding in some way.

skp1 · November 17, 2010

I don't think that standard rule applies to destination weddings. Have your shower and if anyone has an issue with it, they just won't come. But I really don't think people will be offended.

We're not doing a shower because we don't need anything but I think we will have an engagement party so that we can celebrate with all the people who aren't coming to the wedding. Practically our whole invite list will be non wedding guests.

horegan · November 17, 2010

People need to understand that different rukes apply to a destination wedding... and these people that are mad- would they have travelled anyway? I say do what you want, and life is too short to care what other people thing about you.

mrs*j*2011 · November 17, 2010

I was hesitant at first but then I realized my family just wanted to celebrate wtih me and since we're only inviting immediate family to the wedding and are not planning an AHR, I decided a shower would be totally acceptable. It was really great to see the extended family that I only see once in a while. The gifts, etc were just icing on the cake.

In the end, it's what you're truly comfortable with. Everyone just has to understand you cannot possibly extend a wedding invite to every person and if they don't want to attend the shower as a result, so be it.

chell44 · November 23, 2010

I'm having a bridal shower and its serving as my AHR people have opinions about everything. my shower guest list is at 90 and I only sent out 40 wedding invites

jystar13 · November 23, 2010

i had my bridal shower yesterday! it was amazing and i got sooo many great gifts i was uncomfortable inviting anyone who was not invited to the wedding so we had a good number of people at the shower. we decided to invite around 105 people to the wedding (knowing/hoping (haha) that not everyone would attend). i was torn about this at first but then we just decided to invite more people to the wedding and then my shower list got bigger. i feel that every bride deserves a shower, i mean really, how many showers have you been to and given gifts for??? it is your turn now ladies!

jszy10 · November 23, 2010

I am most likely only have about 20 people at my DW, and I am definitely having a shower. Are you having an AHR? Regardless of how/when/where, you are still getting married!! I believe a shower is a reason for all of the important ladies in your life to get together and celebrate your upcoming wedding, so go for it girl! I wouldn't feel bad.

LisaMatterni · November 24, 2010

Originally Posted by Willow188

I'm getting married in St. Thomas in March, and we're only inviting close family and best friends - about 50 people, and it's looking like 35 will be there. I've read that you can't invite people to the bridal shower who are not invited to the wedding, but my family is saying they want to throw me one anyway. What do I do? I really REALLY want one, but I don't want to look bad. Plus, there are a few people I didn't invite to the wedding, and they're upset about it. (But that's a whole different story.) I don't know if they would be more insulted about being invited to the bridal shower and not the actual wedding. HELP!