5 months to go and bridesmaid bails (along with other guests!)

[traceysteve]

i'm really sorry to hear so many of you are having troubles with your bridal party, I haven't...yet, but I easily chose my BFF as my MOH, it was a given. My FI has yet to choose his BM though, and the friend that he wants to ask just had a baby, as well as his second choice...booooo! We'll see what happens, times-a-tickin'

[farlem311]

My wedding is in May and I sent save the dates a year in advance.  Well only 14 has booked their tickets, not including one of my bridesmaids and PARENTS.  They are hoping that the prices will go down.  Another one of my bridesmaids accepted being a bridemaid and later decided to get pregnant.  It is very frustrating.  I know I did not want a huge wedding but at least wanted more than 15 people there.  I feel everyone's pain. 

[AfricanVenus]

My fiance's "best friend" who was going to be best man is no longer speaking to my fiance because my fiance couldn't get off work to go to the friend's girlfriend's father's funeral. One, he told my fiance on a Sunday and the funeral was Monday. Two, my fiance stopped by the gf's home and spent time w/ her family to pay his respects after (best friend wasn't there at the time).

 

So, with a little over 2 months until our wedding, the "friend" is jetsetting to Ghana and India, but won't talk to my fiance to let him know if he's coming at all. I mean literally, he's been going to these countries more than once since the year started! I'm assuming the next step, if we do hear from him, will be that he doesn't have any money, lol.

 

I've come to realize that weddings show you who your friends are...It's really a shame and downright childish, but you live and learn.

[lmarie]

You are all going through similar situations as I am going through. I hope the rest of your wedding planing goes smoothly.

 Weddings do really show you who your true and real friends are. I have learned a lot in planning my wedding. There are alot of people that now, I will no longer make  a priority or go out of my way to help, because I have been shown that I really dont matter to them.

 

All of that being said, I am trying to focus on the peope who genuinely want to share the day with us, and just being happy about the fact that I am finally getting married. Four and a half months to go!! Good luck to everyone!

[mandys]

First off....do you really need to find another bridesmaid? I don't know what the big deal is about having an equal amount of girls to guys. If you have 2 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen, I do not think there is anything wrong with that. Also, try not to be so hard on the people that are ditching. I am sure they would love to come, but money is always a huge factor.

[StThomas2011]

Both very good points mandys.  I couldn't agree more.  

 

Having just had a DW in February, 2011 (starting planning about 11 months before), I can tell you this:

1.  For the most part your guests aren't as excited as you are about the DW/Vacation.  Not saying that they aren't excited, but your wedding isn't the main priority in their life as it is in your life.

2.  The majority of our guest started booking flights/hotels about 6 months out.  Most people don't plan regular vacations a year + out.  What I did to kind of push people along is I actually helped find cheap flights and condos for them to stay at.  I did a lot of the leg work for the guests and it really helped them get excited and start booking. 

3.  When you chose to have a DW, you chose to alienate certain friends/family members.  Not everyone can drop their lives and that much money for a wedding/vacation.  We invited around 80 ppl and 45 were able to make it.  Were some of the ones who couldn't make it really close friends?  Yes.  But I knew that was the situation when we decided to do a wedding in St. Thomas.

 

My husband had a really hard time with this during the planning.  He would get really mad and upset when friends would decline.  I had to explain the above scenario to him many times and by the end he understood.

 

It really sucks that you have bridesmaids who can't make it though, because they should have thought long and hard before saying yes.  We decided that instead of having a big bridal party, we'd just have my sister and his brother and then our other friends will be there, but not feel forced into being there as attendants.  
 

Originally Posted by mandys 

First off....do you really need to find another bridesmaid? I don't know what the big deal is about having an equal amount of girls to guys. If you have 2 bridesmaids and 3 groomsmen, I do not think there is anything wrong with that. Also, try not to be so hard on the people that are ditching. I am sure they would love to come, but money is always a huge factor.

 

[amandawebster1]

One of my bridesmaids accepted in September of last year. We have been friends since second grade. I am paying for her whole trip to mexico along with her date and I also bought her bridesmaid dress because I knew money was an issue for her. All I asked was that she get her plane ticket and passport. As of now- my wedding is one month out and she still hasn't recieved her passport and still has not  booked her flight. I even flew her up here for the bridal shower/bachelorette party because she lives in florida. She got bombed and we couldn't find her for 3 hours during the bachelorette party.

 

When does a person draw the line? My heart is broken over this. She really has NO excuse not to show up. She has known about this wedding for almost a year! Unbelievable.

 

 

[balibride]

So totally agree with these posts... Am trying to remain serene!