it's inappropriate to be dating your employee!!!!!

[mrs*j*2011]

My head is going to explode if I don't get this off my chest!

 

I work in a warehouse (I'm work in the office) and one other employee and I report to the office supervisor.  She is 50 years old and divorced with a 15yo daughter and a 20yo daughter.  We have 8 hourly employees, mostly male ages ranging from early 20's to 50's.

 

Sometime in January, my supervisor mentioned to me (in a "friend" kind of way, not acting as a boss) that she was letting an employee sleep on her couch because he didn't have a place to go (got kicked out of his apartment for whatever reason).  Then a few weeks later she let it slip to my co-worker that he makes her so happy, blah blah blah.  They've now been together for about 10 months.  He's 23.  She is old enough to be his mother and he's young enough to date her daughter.

 

In my own judgemental way I think their relationship is strange but it's none of my business and if they make each other happy, whatever.  Who am I to say anything?  But the problem lies with the fact that for a few months she became his supervisor and everyone (including our General Manager) found out about their relationship.  She has since been taking from the role of his direct supervisor but she is also the HR Administrator so there is always a reason for him to have closed door meetings in her office.  Meanwhile, GM just makes offhand comments about how well she knows him compared to everyone else but hasn't really done much of anything to put an end to the favortism or bias on her part.

 

Now it's to the point where she babies him in every aspect of his job even though she is not his boss.  In turn, my co-worker and I are dragged out to the warehouse to help him because she knows the signs of when he's getting overwhelmed and is about to have a nervous breakdown.  They carpool together but she works for 30 minutes later than him so he sits in her car every afternoon to wait for her.  He calls her at least once during that half hour and they talk all lovey-dovey, ending each call with "I love you".  It makes me want to barf and scream at the same time.

 

I'm so tired of hearing the excuses why he's so defensive, rude, stressed or whatever else the excuse is!  It's totally inappropriate to be dating your employee.  I don't care who you are or what the situation is.  Once you have the opportunity to be their superior, something needs to give.

 

 

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

ok, i feel better now.  thanks for letting me vent!

[mimi73]

Eeeewwwwwwww!! I hate to be judgmental.... but that is just ICK!!!!

[Monique]

My Granny always said "Never Shi* Where you Eat"...Yes this is very inappropriate, I could careless about the age aspect but the fact that she is in a higher/superior position this creates inequalities and thus workplace rifes are formed which could escalate out of her control.  What happens when something smokin hot and closer to his age with a couch for him to sleep on comes around?  This is a very sticky situation...I would send an anonomyous letter to the Corporate office (although with a workforce so small you could be figured out quite fast) expressing your concerns!  Maybe you should puke next time she mentions something lovey dovey about him...

[BachataBride]

That is definitely not a good situation! What happens when the relationship ends? Will he then be treated poorly...or even fired. And sorry you have to hear all that lovey-dovey crap!

[mrs*j*2011]

My co-worker and I thought about sending an annoymous email to corporate but we decided it would probably make the entire situation a lot worse than if we just kept our mouths shut.  Same goes for saying anything to our GM.  It's a lose-lose situation no matter how you look at it.

 

They're both pretty annoying in their own way so I wouldn't be heartbroken if either one quit or was fired.  I'm desperately searching for a new job so I'm hoping I won't have to put up with is much longer.  Too bad the job market sucks so much right now and it's especially hard to find work in my field but I'm just trying to not let any of the craziness affect me!  And our wedding is in 10 weeks...

[bmadzia1]

 mrs*j*2011 ; speaking from managment point of view, and a person who has dated her boss when I first started my career... It is OK to date your employer, employee or co-worker (a lot of companies are starting to remove this 'condition' from their company regulations as it's wrong to tell someone who you can or cannot love). HOWEVER, if you are dating someone or are married to someone who is your boss, at work  you are not a couple.  You MUST keep it professional.  Some companies INSIST that if you are an item, one must transfer to a different department for obvious reasons. ..... Saying that...

Not to be judgmental - that's kind a sick.  My FI is 10 yrs older than me.. but not 30.. plus, I can't imagine dating/marrying someone my age... looking at the guys I went to school with - they are still in the stage of chimp development LOL

[schmizer]

I work in the restaurant industry which can be kinda incestuous.  We have about 750 employees and have had 16 marriages over the 20+ years we have been in business!  

 

THAT BEING SAID, in any case of a supervisor dating an employee, one of the two has gotten transferred.  I can not believe that you have to tolerate this nonsense!

 

I am the outspoken one of my friends, and probably would say something.  The GM is setting herself up for a lawsuit for discrimination.  

[mrs*j*2011]

I ended up saying something to our GM about the entire situation.  He kind of broached the subject so I felt like it would be okay to tread lightly and mention the issues to him.  (It would have been a lose-lose scenario for me to say something to her as she's my direct supervisor.)  GM was fully aware of everything that was going on and said something would happen soon because he knew it was getting out of control.  About a week after that conversation, the employee gave notice that he found another job. 

 

Now the only thing we have to put up with his him calling and texting her on every break he gets.  It's a company cell phone so I can't even imagine how much we pay for the two of them text each other non stop all day long!  Oh and her bragging about how much they love him at his new job and how much money he gets for overtime and holiday pay.  Ummm, no one cares!    I just smile and nod...