How do you deal with wedding gifts at a destination wedding?

[Lisamarie36]

We've been contemplating if we should have a destination wedding or not, my friend had one and most people provided cash as her wedding gift. Not sure what the etiquette is for gifts at a destination wedding? Do we still have a registry?

[JanineA]

For a destination wedding you can still have a registry. Of course we have let people know not to bring gifts down to the destination since travelling back with them would be difficult. We set up both a regular registry through bloomindale's and an alternative honeymoon registry through honeyfund. We have received gifts through both. Its really up to you. Some people will still end up giving cash at the wedding and we are aware of that so we are taking a card box with us.

[Thomasjsgirl]

We set up a registry for those who couldn't make it, but wanted to give us a gift anyway. For the actual wedding, we insisted on no gifts at all - monetary or otherwise. Since those who came with us used up their holidays (and $$) for our wedding, we felt that was more than gift enough. Of course, there were a few who insisted on giving us a little something anyway, but for the most part, the majority respected our wishes and were probably secretly grateful that they didn't have to give us anything on top of what they had already forked out.

[MsClarke724]

 

Originally Posted by Thomasjsgirl 

We set up a registry for those who couldn't make it, but wanted to give us a gift anyway. For the actual wedding, we insisted on no gifts at all - monetary or otherwise. Since those who came with us used up their holidays (and $$) for our wedding, we felt that was more than gift enough. Of course, there were a few who insisted on giving us a little something anyway, but for the most part, the majority respected our wishes and were probably secretly grateful that they didn't have to give us anything on top of what they had already forked out.

How did you insist?  Did you have it written somewhere?  Just curious - we were thinking the same
 

[Thomasjsgirl]

Exactly! I prepared a pre-travel brochure that had flight and hotel details, etc. On the very last page I added a paragraph about gifts, and stated that their gift to us was their presence at our wedding. (I used the old stand-by "your presence is present enough") I kind of made a joke about it, but got our message across.
 

Originally Posted by MsClarke724 

 

How did you insist?  Did you have it written somewhere?  Just curious - we were thinking the same
 

[niajs]

I've been wondering this. I don't want guests at our DW to feel obliged to get us a gift as they will have spent enough to come out there. However, if they want to give us a gift, I'm not going to say no!

 

So, I'm not really sure how to word it. Perhaps I should put nothing?

[vlynnw]

We are doing a registry but are not supplying that information on the invites we send to those we are inviting to Mexico with us.   The registry information is only being supplied on the AHR invite for those unable to travel with us.  

[Thomasjsgirl]

Well you could stay silent on it, but that could be interpreted that you are expecting gifts, which might be considered grasping after your guests have shelled out $thousands to share your day. Those who truly want to gift you, will do so even with a note from you/fiance not to. Personally, I think it's a trade-off -- you get the gorgeous, tropical wedding of your dreams surrounded by your closest family and friends, and you forgo the toasters, sheets and towels. OR, you fork out big bucks for a traditional at home wedding, but you get the toasters, sheets and towels. You can always get what you need to set up house a little at a time, but a destination wedding and it's memories are a once-in-a-lifetime event that you'll cherish more than a china setting, lol!

 

Originally Posted by niajs 

I've been wondering this. I don't want guests at our DW to feel obliged to get us a gift as they will have spent enough to come out there. However, if they want to give us a gift, I'm not going to say no!

 

So, I'm not really sure how to word it. Perhaps I should put nothing?

[Aumuller]

I agree with this. I think its definitely a trade off with a destination wedding. I think telling your guests that their gift is their presence is really appreciated by guests as it might already be difficult for some of them to find the money to come. If they decide to go ahead and get you something anyways then you should go out of your way to express gratitude. 
 

Originally Posted by Thomasjsgirl 

Well you could stay silent on it, but that could be interpreted that you are expecting gifts, which might be considered grasping after your guests have shelled out $thousands to share your day. Those who truly want to gift you, will do so even with a note from you/fiance not to. Personally, I think it's a trade-off -- you get the gorgeous, tropical wedding of your dreams surrounded by your closest family and friends, and you forgo the toasters, sheets and towels. OR, you fork out big bucks for a traditional at home wedding, but you get the toasters, sheets and towels. You can always get what you need to set up house a little at a time, but a destination wedding and it's memories are a once-in-a-lifetime event that you'll cherish more than a china setting, lol!

 

 

[lyndsay_h]

We don't want gifts either, people are putting out enough money to be at the wedding ... plus I don't have enough room in my kitchen cupboards for the things I already own!  Our wedding website had a place to list your registry and in that section I just put the 'your presence is gift enough' and hoped that got the message across.  I had also been pretty clear about not wanting a shower because I didn't want anyone to think they had to buy us a gift.