Anyone going through/been through a LD relationship?

[Little Princess]

PS. We truly believe that if we could get through that, then we can get through ANYTHING. We managed it, we survived, we came out stronger. Bring it on life, we can take whatever you throw at us

[Sapphire723]

Well, we had dated before he moved away, but then we were apart for a year and then together for another couple years. 

 

It would be for 2-3 years.  There would probably be some domestic travel where I would either be coming home at night or coming home every weekend.

[AishaB]

Diva:

 

First let me say that there is actually an old thread about LDRs somewhere out there that has some really good comments in there that has also helped me along my experience.  With that said, let me say I totally understand about what you are going through. My FI and I have been doing the LRD since the beginning of our relationship until this present time. We usually see each other once a month when he comes to town for his National Guard duty.  Other than that we talk on the phone every night and try to keep the communication lines open. Being in an LDR is very difficult and has to totally rely on your trust for one another. But on the other hand it gives you both the opportunity to talk more than if you were continually together. I honestly cannot wait until it is over and we are still in the same place at the same time.  However, like you soon after our marriage we will be LD from each other.  He is getting deployed about four or five months after our wedding and will be a year in Afghanistan.  It is frustrating, scary and harrowing all at the same time.  All I can tell you is what I have been telling myself, "pray and God will take care of the rest."  If you love this person, trust them, know that you can survive whatever life throws your way, then you will make it.  Continue to have faith in your love and each other and I know the both of you will make it through the time apart beautifully.  Though there maybe tough times, and you maybe missing him like crazy sometimes, you guys will make it through.  Have courage my friend, it will all be okay.  

[Vettiebean]

Well, hopefully this thread has given you a lot of inspiration, experiences to draw from, opinions, thoughts... and it helps us all realize how much we have in common, but how different each situation still remains. 

 

FI and I started out long distance. Let me also admit that prior to this, I didn't believe that LDRs could really work. I didn't have anything against them. I just didn't know if they were realistic. I am the type of person that needs the passion, intimacy, and yes.. definitely the love! lol 

 

Okay, back on track... when FI and I met, I was in Chicago finishing my last year of law. He was living in LA, where he'd been for the past four years. I flew out to LA on a visit and FI and I happened to meet at a happy hour. His friend was hitting on my friend, and we just got caught in the middle of the meshing of the groups. We started talking that night and two nights later, my last night in town, we went out on a date. Well, except that our date included 3 of my gfs and 3 of my gay friends! lol He did awesome with the group. I flew home the next day and we didn't mean for anything serious to happen. But, it just naturally developed into a 4 hour conversation every night. And I think that's what did it for us. We talked, skyped, emailed, texted as much as we could. And, we also did a lot of traveling back and forth. Talk about some serious frequent flier miles! 

 

When I graduated, I decided to move out to CA, which is where we live now. I went from being a skeptic to becoming a firm believer in it. It can work for some people. It's not for everyone, but it did work for us. It really teaches you how to effectively and honestly communicate with each other, not to mention we really learned how to trust each other. And, when we did finally live close to each other, there were absolutely no weird changes. I moved straight into his tiny (and I mean, TINY) bachelor apartment. Then a few months later, we got our place together. 

 

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But good things are worth waiting for and you know the situation is only temporary. Lots of bright lights ahead. Keep the faith. Thanks to email, phones, skype, video chat, phone chat, texts, bbm, and all the other wonders, you guys will be able to keep in touch. 

 

PS. West coast girl living in Austin... lol, I was the opposite. I was born n raised in Texas, lived in Austin, now live out in LA. Isn't the interwebs great?

[Diva]

OMG Vettie! Our stories are WAY too similar, its almost scary!!!

 

I too was a 3L when I met him, I was in law school at home in Los Angeles and he was in KC. He flew out to LA to meet me, etc etc.  I moved to Austin because we came here and fell in love with the cost of living! I would have LOVED to stay in LA forever, but him being from a smaller city, he thought it was too much.  In the meantime we got to see eachother about every 2 weeks since I moved to Austin two years ago, so its better than when I was in LA!

 

Anyhoo, as you see we are 'legally" married now as of Dec 23, and he is actually planning to move here to Austin after the wedding in March.  Unfortunately, this will mean that he will be unemployed :-(    It will be tough with one income, but HELL! We survived 4 years on an LDR so we can survive anything, right? 

[Vettiebean]

Diva, first off, my total apologies! I got ahead of myself... CONGRATULATIONS!!! Yay! You guys will survive all of it. lol, funny how similar the stories are. I would love to be back in Austin. LOVE, LOVE, LOOOOVE to be back in Austin. FI's job keeps us firmly planted here for the next couple years, though. 

 

Don't fret about his move to ATX and unemployment. If you're going to move anywhere and be unemployed, it's Texas! It's basically the only state with an economy not shot directly to shit and hell. On top of job searches probably being easier, living on one income will only be another temporary change, and it's for the better. It's so you guys can finally be together! 

 

When I moved out to LA, I was unemployed, too. HELL! I still am!! I had an appendectomy in July and then some complications. I was sitting in my hospital room at Cedars during the bar exam! lol We've been living off of FI's income. And, while sometimes it gets hard because there are more sacrifices, it's been completely worth it. I made pretty good money for a 3L in Chicago (went to school there), but it wouldn't have done me any good if I were missing him all the time. Cross your fingers I get a good job after February! (FINALLY taking the bar lol) 

 

You guys will rock it, just watch! I can't wait to see pics of the DW! 

PS. Please, go eat some Rudy's bbq and creamed corn with sweet tea for me... Thanks in advance.

[Sapphire723]

Okay, so I got the "audition" for that job I really wanted.  I'm going to spend March out of the country (I'm still not sure where yet).  While I'm super excited about the opportunity, I'm really bummed about not being around John for that long.  I'm also a little anxious about not getting back until a week before the wedding.

[mexbride83]

Hi All! I'm so glad to see I'm not alone in this. My fiance and I have always been long distance as well. We're from the same place in the DC area and first met and dated in high school (his sister is one of my best friends), then "re-met" and started dating again 7 years later. He's in the Army and was stationed in Alabama, I was in DC. After a year of dating, I moved to Alabama for grad school (WAR EAGLE!! National Champs! Had to throw that in, haha) so that we could be closer, but we're still 2 hours apart and only see each other on weekends. Which is actually pretty nice when you're swamped with grad school work, as several of you know:) I also spent 3 months in Africa this summer for an internship. Now he has orders to Hawaii, leaving at the end of February, and I'm here in Alabama until graduation in May. I'll spend my spring break in Hawaii with him, then I leave Hawaii on March 19th and we won't see each other again until he arrives in Mexico on May 24th! It's going to be so difficult... but is it crazy that what I'm most worried about isn't those 2 months apart, but the being together every day from that point on?? I just can't imagine it, because we've never done it! Not that I'm not looking forward to it, this LD has been incredibly hard and exhausting and we both count down the days until it's all over. But there is that little part of me that sometimes thinks "what if he drives me insane when he's there ALL the time??" hahaha. An adjustment for sure:)

[mexbride83]

I should also add that due to the fact that he's in the Army and Hawaii is a deployable unit, we'll likely only be married a year before he deploys to Afghanistan for 12 months:( So there is a lot of distance in our future.

[shelbygirl]

Hang in there!  The great thing is you can still communicate with him and see him occasionally. I know it won't be everyday, but you will get through it and it will make your relationship stronger!  I'd recommend signing up for skype if you haven't already.  I've lived with my fiance for about 3 years.  About 2 years ago we were going to make a move to a different state.  He took the job, next step was putting our house up for sale. The day he accepted the job he found out he was getting deployed.  So, he took the job worked in a different state for 5 months(I only saw him on weekends).  Then, he moved back home and went full time army to plan for his deployment and deployed to Afghanistan 6 months later.  I'd have to say this was the hardest year of my life!  Not only could I not see him, but my time to talk to him was limited and irregular!  I couldn't call him or text him:(  The great thing is, we are stronger because of it.  I learned to put on my BIG girl pants and do stuff at home I had never done before(like dispose of a mouse) ICK!  Stay positive and you will get through this. I'd recommend doing as much of your communication over the phone or on skype. Sometimes words can be misinterpreted over email. Good luck and hang in there!