AHR question

[Barrierunner]

We got married on July 7, 2010 in Varadero Cuba.  30 of our friends and family joined us.  Because we have family and friends spread all over the place we decided to do an open house which we are having in mid-September.  So far we have about 60ish guests coming to that.  The main issue is my siblings.  I have three brothers and none of them could make it to my wedding because of kids, money etc.  They are quite upset that we had our wedding in Cuba and they are more upset that we are having our open house in my home town (where I have been living for the last 5 years).  They live 3 hours away and have declined the invitation for the open house.  So now my parents (who came to Cuba) have offered to book a restaurant for a dinner for just our side of the family to smooth things over with my siblings.  My question is should I give them all something, like a favour as a token of appreciation?  There will be 10 adults and 5 kids.  I want to make them feel special as well.  Any ideas on what I can get them as a favour or a little inexpensive gift?  Do we bring our wedding photos and video for them to view, or would this just rub it in and hit a sore spot?

 

Thx!

[clgriffi7]

I will be in somewhat of the same boat as you - but you are taking it much better than I would.  I completely understand that they couldn't make it to Cuba as destination weddings are quite expensive for guest.  However, they have no right to be upset at you about it - as it is your decision.  As for the open house - it has nothing to do with where they live, but everything to do with where you and your husband live.  I think it is rather lazy that your family won't drive 3 hours to see you (I would be upset at that) - but once again they have no right to be upset at you for it.  I think it is very nice of your parents to hold a dinner - but that requires you to drive 3 hours, where is the fairness in that one?  My first thought was why would you give them gifts when you are making all of the effort and they are being unreasonable - but then I considered that maybe they got you wedding gifts.  If you received gifts from them, then I would give them something.  I would probably take the wedding photos with me to the restaurant and just see what the vibe is.  If they are truly there to celebrate your union then they will be happy to see them.  Remember this is YOUR wedding and they have no right to have any expectations.

 

My situation will be a bit different in that my extended family on my father's side (aunt, cousins, and their kids) live about 5 hours away.  My AHR will be more of an AHP (at home party) and I would hate for them to drive 5 hours each way for some booze :-)  I plan on organizing a nice lunch in a city in between (3 hours for us and 2 for them) so they can see the photos and such.  I am planning on doing this, but I would be very pissed off if I heard they were upset about my other plans for MY wedding.

 

Sorry for the rant.  You are a much nicer person than I am!

[mistibuard]

Barrierunner,   You are SUPER nice! Wow... I'm not sure about which favor to give them, but yes--maybe a slideshow of your wedding photos and your video would be a nice gesture. Hopefully it will soften their hearts.

Good luck!

 

 

Originally Posted by Barrierunner 

 

We got married on July 7, 2010 in Varadero Cuba.  30 of our friends and family joined us.  Because we have family and friends spread all over the place we decided to do an open house which we are having in mid-September.  So far we have about 60ish guests coming to that.  The main issue is my siblings.  I have three brothers and none of them could make it to my wedding because of kids, money etc.  They are quite upset that we had our wedding in Cuba and they are more upset that we are having our open house in my home town (where I have been living for the last 5 years).  They live 3 hours away and have declined the invitation for the open house.  So now my parents (who came to Cuba) have offered to book a restaurant for a dinner for just our side of the family to smooth things over with my siblings.  My question is should I give them all something, like a favour as a token of appreciation?  There will be 10 adults and 5 kids.  I want to make them feel special as well.  Any ideas on what I can get them as a favour or a little inexpensive gift?  Do we bring our wedding photos and video for them to view, or would this just rub it in and hit a sore spot?

 

Thx!

 

 

[AlexsBride]

I'm sorry I may sound like a complete bitch here, but three hours is NOT that far to travel for your sisters wedding! I would be quite offended if my siblings could not fit it into their jam packed schedule and drive three hours for my wedding! just sayin!!

[mochamakes3]

I agree with Alexs Bride. Your sibings are being pretty selfish for not driving 3 hours to your open house. I'm guessing you live in Barrie based on your name, so 3 hours from there is basically just outside of Toronto. Your siblings probably spend that much time commuting each day. I don't think your parents should be responsible for paying for a dinner when your siblings live so close and you are already spending so much money on the open house.

[hutchets]

I would be offended if they did not attend.  Especially if they have plenty of notice to plan for it.  Make a day trip or a weekend out of it.